


Toppling an Emperor

by Yoruai (yoruai)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Blow Jobs, Denial of Feelings, First Time, Food Kink, Frottage, Grinding on a subway, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Morning Sex, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Public Sex, Self-Denial, Sex Toys, Sex on their leader's bed, Shower Sex, Sloppy Makeouts, Somnophilia, Subways, Voyeurism, poor Akira
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:22:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 48,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoruai/pseuds/Yoruai
Summary: In which Ryuji "accidentally" humps Yusuke on a train, and "accidentally" ends up at his dorm where he "accidentally" takes things further.I mean it had to be an accident. He couldn't actually like Yusuke right? ...right?





	1. Chapter 1

Ryuji was hard.

It was something that happened a lot, at the most inopportune times he ended up with a stiffy. He wasn’t too bothered by it anymore, and seeing as most of the guys around had the same problem he didn’t care much about it during PE or any time he was around his male peers.

He was a growing teenage boy, so he figured it was normal. Even so, he was happy his school was so lax about his wardrobe even happier that he decided to wear an extra long and loose shirt today.

He couldn’t imagine how embarrassed he’d be if any of the girls saw him popping one.

Still, this one was particularly annoying. He noticed it when he was getting off the station to transfer to another train, and once he noticed it his lower half made it very clear it would not be ignored.

So as he got off the train, Ryuji was glad he was only a short walk away from his house.

That is… until he recognized Yusuke sitting on one of the subway benches.

Yusuke looked troubled.

Ryuji wondered what was wrong.

‘Don’t do it Ryuji, you’re literally five minutes away from getting home and being able to jack off.’ he reasoned to himself.

Yusuke put his head in his hands, and Ryuji’s heart sunk.

“Dammit.” Ryuji said with a frown.

He always had a soft spot for his friends, even softer still when they were upset.

Ryuji walked up to Yusuke. “Hey, why the long face Inari?” Ryuji asked with a pout.

Yusuke’s eyes shot open and he turned to look at the blonde, “Ryuji… mh…” He glanced to the side, looking upset, “It is nothing. Leave me.”

“Sure as hell doesn’t look like nothin’. Your train’s coming up, why the long face? No money?”

Yusuke winced at the accusation.

“Wait for real?” Ryuji asked. 

Yusuke sighed, “I… thought I had more money in my wallet. I got lunch and realized I don’t have enough for the train home…” He said with a sigh. “It was my fault… I shouldn’t have eaten when I did.”

“Dude. You shouldn’t feel bad about EATING.” he said with a sigh. “Mngh… I don’t have cash on me… money’s on my subway card and I need it for school tomorrow…” 

Yusuke pouted, looking very much like a kicked puppy as he let out a long sigh. “It is fine… I’ll… think of something. You should go, Ryuji.”

Ryuji wanted to go. He had a date with lube and a box of tissues that his dick was telling him he was late for.

The kicked puppy look was too much though, his relief could wait. 

“How about I just… ride with you to your dorm and then ride back?” Ryuji offered. “I can get you home so... stop looking like someone shot your pet.”

Yusuke’s eyes widened, “But it’s so far… you’d make it back home quite late if you rode all the way out with me.”

 

“It’s fineee” Ryuji said with a frustrated groan, grabbing his arm and dragging him up. “C’mon. That’s all the more reason to make it over faster.

Yusuke gaped as he was pulled into the subway gate, the card scanned twice for both of them before he was pulled on the line that would take him to his school.

Ryuji frowned at him, “What, got somethin’ to say still?” He asked.

Yusuke glanced to the side, before turning to face the window, “No… it’s nothing…” He fidgeted. “Thank you kindly… for the ride home Ryuji.”

Ryuji turned to face him, giving him a half hearted smile, “It’s nothin’ Yusuke. Don’t mention it.”

Despite the inconvenience, at that moment Ryuji was genuinely glad he helped.

That was, until they stopped at another line. 

The two boys waited for the people to get off… and then a significant number of people squished themselves onto the train.

Like way more of them.

So many Ryuji was starting to get shoved.

More people and more people shoved in, and Ryuji winced as he was roughly shoved forward against Yusuke’s back, the artist pressed hard against the window.

“S-Sorry” Ryuji offered as he rest his chin on Yusuke’s hunched shoulder.

Yusuke tensed, staring shyly at Ryuji’s reflection in the window, “It’s fine… I’m… sorry for the inconvenience.”

What? 

“Dude it’s not your fault the train is getting cramped.” Ryuji offered.

A flush rose on Yusuke’s face, and Ryuji was unsure as to why the artist was suddenly so shy. It was fairly new to see a lack of smugness on his features.

Then Yusuke shifted, and he realized what was wrong.

His erection was currently pressed hard into Yusuke’s rear. 

Ryuji sputtered, quickly apologizing and attempting to move back, but there was only enough room to shift back a little before he was pressed even harder against Yusuke.

Yusuke let out a gasp, and that noise shot straight to his groin. 

“F-Fuck sorry I… I’ve had one for a while and was gonna take care of it when I got home” Ryuji babbled as he closed his eyes. God he could feel the side of his dick settling snugly against the crack of Yusuke’s ass.

Yusuke’s eyes kept their shy countenance, and Ryuji felt his heart skip a beat as their eyes locked in the reflection of the window. They stayed staring at eachother for a few long agonizing moments.

Then Yusuke shifted back slightly, and Ryuji let out a breathy swear as he unconsciously bucked his hips.

He was about to bark out another apology, and then Yusuke’s hand shyly reached back to cling to the cuff of Ryuji’s sleeve.

“It’s okay… I don’t mind.” Yusuke said softly.

What.

Ryuji’s brain broke.

Yusuke was okay with- no… he had to mean something else right?

When Yusuke pulled Ryuji’s cuff forward so the blonde’s hand was resting on his waist, he knew exactly what he meant.

Was Yusuke...giving him permission to hump his ass on a subway train?

Ryuji gripped Yusuke’s hip gently, slightly in awe at how slim his hip felt. Yusuke shuddered, shifting back a little more and rubbing his rear teasingly up and down the outlined erection in Ryuji’s pants.

Ryuji groaned, pressing against the teases.

He shouldn’t. They were in a public place.

There were people EVERYWHERE…

and this was YUSUKE.

. . .

Fuck it, he couldn’t hold it anymore.

Ryuji brought his other hand down, steadying Yusuke’s hips as he experimentally rolled into them.

It felt good.

Ryuji began to rock, leaning heavily against Yusuke so they weren’t bothering anyone. He glanced around, making sure nobody had seen them, but in the cramped space people were all busy looking at their phones. 

Seeing the lack of attention being thrown his way, Ryuji let his control snap.

He bucked eagerly against Yusuke, humping him rough and hard like a dog in heat. The friction chafed a bit, but the sweet relief of something warm and soft was enough for him to ignore it as he pinned Yusuke hard against the wall.

Yusuke’s fingers tensed on the glass, his body swaying from the rough dominations. He panted out a few soft, quiet whimpers as he was humped hard by the blonde behind him.

Ryuji felt like such a pervert.

Anyone could turn and look at them and it would probably ruin them both.

One picture snap and he’d be the laughing stock of Shibuya.

But knowing they could get caught… for some reason that made him even hotter

Ryuji rest his chin on Yusuke’s shoulder again, gently nipping the shell of his ear as he felt himself getting close.

A soft moan from Yusuke was enough to tip him over the edge, creaming his pants with what he felt was one of the most mind-blowing orgasms he’d ever had.

Ryuji slumped against Yusuke, panting in his post-coital high as he unconsciously nuzzled his nape. Yusuke remained quiet and rigid, holding Ryuji up as he allowed the spent boy purchase on his body.

Then the sound of the train stopping reached both their ears, and reality fell on Ryuji like a bucket of cold water.

He backed off Yusuke, who was looking anywhere but him as he made his way off the train. Ryuji followed timidly, grimacing at the slimy cooling sensation in his crotch area.

He’s definitely glad he went with a longer shirt today now.

He sighed as he looked at where he was. The line to Kosei was farther than he thought, it would take him ages to get home. This wasn’t going to be fun.

Not even looking at Yusuke, he began making his way to a map that would show him which line to get on to go home.

He was stopped by a hand on his wrist.

Ryuji turned, and actually felt a flush bloom on his cheeks at the shy way Yusuke looked at him.

“Um… R-Ryuji…” Yusuke softly said as his bangs fell into his face, “The ride home will be long… and… I doubt you want to take that ride without changing first…”

“U-Uh… yeah but, there’s nowhere for me to change, this whole place is taken by your academy and-”

“My dorm is a short walk away.” Yusuke interrupted, looking up at him hopefully, “You could change there before you go.”

Uh Oh.

Ryuji’s eyes trailed down. Yusuke’s tight school pants and short shirt didn’t leave much to the imagination.

The artist was terribly hard.

“I um… I dunno if that’s such a good idea. Mom’ll worry if I’m late and stuff.” Ryuji reasoned out.

Yusuke’s hopeful look sank, and his hand slipped from Ryuji’s wrist, “I see…”

Ryuji’s heart clenched.

Why?

Why the fuck was seeing that sad expression so hard to ignore?

Yusuke turned and began to walk away without a goodbye.

Ryuji’s heart sunk like a stone, and he grit his teeth.

God dammit.

“A-Actually!” Ryuji yelled out as he ran to catch up, walking by Yusuke, “Maybe changin’... wouldn’t be such a bad idea y’know?” He said shyly. 

Yusuke stared at him in surprise, an almost childlike innocence to his features.

Ryuji had never seen a look like that on him, but god that look warmed Ryuji’s heart.

His shy smile warmed it even more.

“Alright then, follow me.” He said quietly, making his way toward the high school.

Ryuji followed Yusuke, almost in a daze, wondering in the back of his head just what he had gotten into,


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji just wanted to get changed and leave. At least that's what his brain told him. His dick was telling him something very different.

They took one step into the dorms and Ryuji realized just how prestigious this high school was. It was literally brimming with class, and the students were all very well groomed and looked prim and proper.

Ryuji with his disheveled appearance, was extremely out of place, and the looks from the other students made that clear.

He didn’t like their whispers, or their disapproving jeers.

“Yusuke’s friends with him? He can do better.” 

“God I know he’s hard to talk to, but he’s stooping to talking with delinquents?”

“Isnt’ that kid from Shujin? Don’t their teachers beat them and touch them or something? What if that kid does something like that to Yusuke?”

Ryuji breathed a bit easier when he heard the lock click open to Yusuke’s dorm, walking in quickly to get out of everyone’s sight.

He froze in the door, his eyes wide and his mouth agape as he looked at the dorm-room.

If it could even be called a dorm. The walk-in hallway had a small nook with a sink, a microwave and a small fridge under a work station. On the other side of the walk-in hallway was the door to what Ryuji assumed was a bathroom. Further in the room opened up to a bed, and on the other side an area with various canvases and paints on a shelf, a balcony sitting outside.

“Holy shit… You thought this place was gross?! It’s nicer than most of my house…”

Yusuke chuckled, “When I said it was unsightly, it was more because I didn’t get along well with my peers.” He said quietly. “Please, use my room as you wish.” 

Ryuji winced as he shifted, the mess in his pants extremely cold and mostly dry now, “N-no thanks um…m’just gonna change and then I should… really get going.”

Yusuke nodded, “I will leave you to it then, I… am in dire need of a shower.” 

Ryuji couldn’t help but glance down to Yusuke’s pants.

Yup. He was still hard.

Ryuji cleared his throat and nodded, “Okay yeah uh… you do that. I can… i can see myself out.” He said quietly.

“You’re not staying?” Yusuke almost sounded disappointed.

“Nah. I mean trains are still running but… if I dally here I could end up stranded on this side of town.” Ryuji reasoned out.

Yusuke glanced to the side before slowly nodding. “I’ll… go… to shower then, i mean.” He said quietly, turning and making his way to the bathroom.

Ryuji mentally cheered.

This was good.

Yusuke wasn’t confronting him, wasn’t even pushing him to talk about what happened. He could leave, go to school and keep going like nothing and that could be it.

It was odd… but good.

Yusuke paused, his back to Ryuji as he stood in the bathroom doorway “I’ll leave the door open in case you need the restroom or…” He gripped hard at the door, pausing as if he was debating with himself, “Or if… you need me…” He cleared his throat, “For… anything else tonight.” He finished, before walking in.

What.

Ryuji gaped as sure enough, Yusuke left the door open a crack.

What.

Ryuji could hear the blood rushing in his ears, his heart began to hammer as the faucet began to run.

WHAT?!

Ryuji backed up until he hit the bed and sat down, the uncomfortable feeling in his pants quickly dying out and instead being replaced with a warmth spreading all over him.

If he needed Yusuke for anything else?

Did he mean like help him get back out of the dorms? Or like for a chat about something?

No… why the fuck would he go into the bathroom with him for that?!

Holy shit.

No, Yusuke wasn’t even being subtle.

“Fuck fuck fuck…” Ryuji murmured to himself as he stripped his clothes off, grimacing as he had to practically peel his boxers off. 

He had to get out.

He had been horny and weak. He wasn’t into dudes, and he needed to make it clear to Yusuke what happened was a spur of the moment thing.

Yusuke’s dense, but he’d take the hint. From his actions he wouldn’t ask about it either.

Ryuji grabbed his gym clothes out of his bag, tossing his shirt on haphazardly as he replaced the empty space in the bag with his school clothes.

He grimaced at his lower half, lifting his shirt and revealing the dried mess.

He’d just go to the bathroom, wet a washcloth, get cleaned up and get out of there.

Ryuji tugged the shirt down, happy that it went down to his thighs before making his way to the bathroom. He opened the door, walked in and kept his head down as he turned the tap on, grabbing a washcloth and running it under the water.

Yusuke’s shower was a glass screen shower.

Don’t look.

Don’t look.

Ryuji glanced at Yusuke’s reflection in the mirror. He’d seen Yusuke in nothing but a towel before. He knew what his body looked like.

Holy shit he had never been privy to the sight of that ass though.

Yusuke’s body was slender, sliding down into a very natural V shape all the way down to the base of his spine. His hips flared out a bit, and his rear was slightly supple despite his thin legs.

He was beautiful.

Wait, what the fuck.

Get the washcloth and get out, this is way too confusing.

Ryuji turned the tap off, grabbing the damp cloth and standing straight, ready to leave the room.

He froze when he took one more glance in the mirror, Yusuke having turned to gaze at him.

His normally calculated and inquisitive gaze was currently innocent and doe-eyed. It looked so different from the gaze Ryuji was used to. 

Their eyes locked in the mirror, and Ryuji felt something tug at him.

Yusuke’s eyes shifted, taking note that he had changed and had a cloth to clean himself with. A look of hurt flashed on Yusuke’s face, and he sighed as he closed his eyes and turned to face away from him.

Ryuji felt his heart clench again at that sad look that didn’t belong on Yusuke’s face.

God why did he not want to see him sad?

Why did Yusuke suddenly look so different in his eyes?

Ryuji shuddered, glancing down and gritting his teeth when he saw an erection had presented itself, poking out against the fabric of his shirt.

. . . Fuck it.

Ryuji tossed off his shirt and stormed over to the shower, wrenching the door open and squeezing inside the tiny space. 

Yusuke quickly turned to face him in surprise, flushing deep red as he sputtered, “R-Ryuji-”

“Shut up.” Ryuji growled out, before pinning Yusuke against the wall and kissing him hard.

When Ryuji had imagined his first kiss, it was soft and sweet with a pretty girl.

This was carnal and awkward, teeth clashing a bit before Ryuji finally got the hang of the lip-lock and then pressed eagerly against Yusuke.

Yusuke let out a surprised moan into the kiss, before pulling Ryuji close and desperately returning it.

They remained like that for a while, all lips and teeth and wandering hands before Yusuke moved, grinding against the blonde trapping him against the wall.

God they were both so hard.

Ryuji’s hand shot down, taking Yusuke’s shaft and pumping it awkwardly. Yusuke gasped into the kiss, and Ryuji dipped his tongue out, licking into Yusuke’s mouth experimentally. 

The sensation shot through Ryuji like fire, and he pressed deeper, sealing Yusuke’s lips with his as he roved his tongue over his teeth and the roof of his mouth. Content with the rhythm of the kiss, Ryuji focused on Yusuke’s shaft as he touched on the tip, teasing the slit curiously with his index finger.

Yusuke’s knees grew weak, and he had to hold fast onto Ryuji to keep from falling as he entwined their tongues. His hips rolled up into Ryuji’s hand, eager for the sweet friction he gave.

After a few moments Ryuji pulled away from the kiss, Yusuke letting out a soft keen near his ear.

Holy hell that noise did something to him.

Ryuji dove in, kissing down Yusuke’s neck and sucking hard on the skin at the crook. The hand he’d been touching Yusuke with snaked around and hugged the small of his back, pressing their bodies together again.

Yusuke groaned, his head lolling to the side and allowing Ryuji more room to kiss.

Ryuji took it eagerly, kissing up Yusuke’s neck and worrying the skin, suckling on the reddened marks till he was sure they’d be bruised in the morning.

A tiny voice in Ryuji’s head told him he should probably think about what he was doing, but his sex drive quickly crushed it.

He was hard, horny as fuck and he’d be damned if he was gonna stop now.

“Cmere.” Ryuji breathed out against Yusuke’s neck. “Hold onto me a bit better.” 

Yusuke nodded weakly, wrapping his arms around Ryuji’s neck and holding him close.

Ryuji slipped in-between Yusuke’s legs, hiking his leg up and grinding their hips together.

That felt much better.

He rocked against him, the water from the shower making it easy to slide together. Yusuke’s head lolled back, his body swaying as he wrapped his leg better around Ryuji, grinding down hard.

Ryuji gazed up at him and shuddered, Yusuke’s eyes were hooded and his pupils were blown wide under his lashes. He pressed him hard against the wall as he picked up his pace, feeling his nerves singing and pushing him higher and higher toward his peak.

Yusuke wrenched his head to the side with a gasp, moaning out as he came in thick ribbons all over himself.

Ryuji watched Yusuke throughout his climax, rutting against him a few more times before stilling his hips and painting white in-between them both to match.

The two boys panted, wobbling under the spray of water as they caught their breaths. The water washed away the secretions between them fairly quickly, and they were left holding each other in their post-coital high.

Yusuke shyly brought his hand out to Ryuji’s cheek, leaning in and placing a few gentle kisses to his lips. 

Ryuji lazily returned the kisses, holding Yusuke close as he sighed through his nose, “mmh… y’done in here?” he asked in-between kisses.

“Mm…” Yusuke hummed into the kiss “mhm… I finished washing right before you walked in.” Yusuke said breathily, wrapping his arms around Ryuji and deepening the kiss.

Ryuji murmured confirmation against Yusuke’s lips as he turned the tap off, grabbing blindly for a towel and haphazardly drying them both off as they stumbled their way kissing out of the bathroom.

They tumbled down onto the bed, Ryuji relaxing on his back and Yusuke partly atop him as they pressed and ran their tongues together.

They stayed like this for a while, all lazy and affectionate kisses until they were so relaxed in bed the kisses died off naturally, Yusuke instead moving to rest his head on Ryuji’s chest.

Ryuji brought his hand up, stroking Yusuke’s nape.

It was late. The trains back home would be stopping soon.

He really should go.

But…

Ryuji looked down at Yusuke, seeing him nodding off. 

“Hey… Yusuke…” He asked quietly, “Can I stay the night?”

“Mm?” Yusuke murmured, “Mhm… I’m the only one in this dorm so… stay... “ Yusuke yawned, cuddling up to him.

Ryuji’s heart fluttered, and he murmured out an “okay” before laying back, cuddling with Yusuke.

This was strange, scary new even.

But he didn’t want to leave.

He wanted to stay.

He’d figure all this crazy bullshit later.

For now, there was a warm body atop him, and he just wanted to drift off to sleep. 

So he did, the two boys falling asleep tangled up in each-other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ryuji, he likes denial. Let's see how long he can drag it out before Yusuke notices or before he realizes he might actually have the hots for our lil' Yusuke.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after is never fun, but it can be when play is involved.

When Ryuji started waking up, it was because a sweet smell wafted into his nose.

“Mh...mom? Yer home I thought you had work today...?” He murmured softly, cuddling into the sheets with a Yawn.

“Mm… you must still be out of it if you think i’m your mother.” A familiar voice chuckled.

What?

God what time is it…

Ryuji yawned, his eyes opening a sliver as he took in his surroundings.

He quickly realized he was not in his room, or on the couch in his home where he usually crashed when he was dead tired.

Last night flashed in his head and he shot up, stumbling as he crashed out of the bed.

“Ah, Ryuji?” that familiar voice called out to him.

Ryuji’s heart sank.

Yusuke. He was in Yusuke’s dorm.

Ryuji flushed, getting on his knees as he gazed up at Yusuke.

His heart skipped a beat.

Yusuke was currently in his school pants, and his school shirt was buttoned only halfway. His hair was mussed, and he still looked a bit sleepy.

Screw an artist, this guy should be a model. Girls would probably eat up the tabloids if he was on the cover.

“Are… you alright?” he asked.

Ryuji stammered and nodded, “Yeah sorry, I uh… forgot I was here and not at home so I spazzed a bit.”

Yusuke smiled, and Ryuji’s gaze shot to the floor.

“I’m glad.” Yusuke said, getting up and walking toward the kitchen, “I know you don’t really like bitter things, so I’ve finished brewing a fruit tea for you to take with you to school.”

Ryuji gaped and glanced up at Yusuke, “Y-You don’t gotta do that for me man, like… aren’t you already sort’ve on hard times with food and stuff?”

“Food, yes.” Yusuke replied, “However, Sensei… ah- Madarame was quite fond of tea, and my collection of it is so much I could never drink it all before it went bad. I promise it will be to your liking.”

Ryuji scratched the back of his head, murmuring a quiet “thanks” as he glanced at the clock.

6AM. The fuck.

He didn’t have to get on the train for another hour and 30 minutes if he didn’t want to.

He yawned and shifted about, realizing he was still pretty much naked.

Only a few moments later, he realized he was also hard as a rock.

God dammit morning wood.

Three stiffies ? in what, twelve hours? It was puberty all fucking over again.

He flushed bright pink, gazing over at Yusuke shyly, “U-Uh… Y-Yusuke um…” He cleared his throat, “I’m um… gonna use your bathroom okay? Can uh… can… can I?””

Yusuke turned, eyeing him curiously as he cocked his head to the side, “Of course Ryuji... “ He said gently, not taking his eyes off him as he filled a tumbler with ice and poured the hot tea into it, stirring it to cool before adding a bit more ice and sealing it.

Ryuji sat for a moment, fidgeting as Yusuke watched him intently.

“Can you like… turn around?” Ryuji asked with a frown.

“Turn around? What for?”

“Cuz I’m naked!” Ryuji barked out.

“I’ve seen you naked enough that it’s not a bother to me.”

THAT'S NOT THE POINT DAMMIT.

God he’d never been so self conscious being naked around another guy before.  
“Will you just- ugh…” Ryuji’s face turned crimson, getting up and letting the sheets slip off of him.

Yusuke’s eyes trailed down, his cheeks flushing warmly as he saw the problem, “Ah… you’re shy about that then?”

“Good guess genius.” Ryuji said with a pout.

Yusuke looked contemplative, before walking up to Ryuji, “Y’know I… I could…” Yusuke shyly brought a hand out, pushing Ryuji gently to sit on the bed.

Ryuji’s heart fluttered and he leaned back, staring at Yusuke in shock.

A flush dusted Yusuke’s cheeks, and he shyly knelt down in-between his legs.

Ryuji’s jaw dropped.

No… fucking… way.

This was not happening. This isn’t happening holy shit...oh…

 _Oh_ …

Ryuji flushed, his eyes drifting shut as he felt Yusuke take a tentative lick of the tip of his shaft, before taking him into his mouth.

No no NO.

Yusuke was NOT sucking him off right now.

What… the fuck…?

. . .

God that felt better than any handjob he’d ever had.

Yusuke’s mouth was so warm… it was hot and wet and when his tongue pressed against the underside of his shaft it took everything he had not to buck into Yusuke’s mouth.

“F-Fuck… Yusuke…” Ryuji breathed out.

Yusuke let out a soft hum in question, and Ryuji’s hips stuttered, bucking up slightly before forcing himself to stay still.

Yusuke let out a nasally whine as the shaft hit the back of his throat, tearing up a bit. Still, he lapped the organ with his tongue and took him in, trying to subdue his gag reflex as he settled against him.

Ryuji panted, rolling his hips as gently as he could, his earlier shame abandoned as he felt the need to finish overwrite anything else.

Yusuke did his best to take him in, letting out small noises as he gazed up to Ryuji.

Seeing that sight tipped Ryuji over, unconsciously gripping Yusuke’s hair and plunging deep into his mouth.

A whine left Yusuke’s throat, but he endured, taking soft even breaths through his nose as Ryuji began to eagerly thrust into his mouth.

Fuck how was this so good?

Yusuke’s voice was vibrating straight on his shaft.

The back of his throat squeezed gently on the head of his dick with every thrust forward.

Ryuji couldn’t compare this sensation to anything else. It was literally the best fucking feeling he’d ever felt.

Ryuji glanced down, locking eyes with Yusuke and letting out a choked gasp.

He wasn’t gonna last long.

That look was doing something wicked to him.

He groaned when his hips jerked up as he suddenly climaxed.

Yusuke winced, gripping hard at the sheets as he did his best to swallow the secretions being pumped down his throat. His tears flowed a bit as he took tentative breaths through his nose between swallows.

Ryuji panted, falling back as his brain shut down from the high. He stared at the ceiling in a daze as his body hummed in satisfaction. A bit of shifting pulled Ryuji out from his daze a bit, and he glanced lazily down at Yusuke.

 

The artists cheeks had a rosy flush to them, and his eyes were warm and shy as they gazed at him.

Yusuke crawled up Ryuji’s body, his eyes hooding as he gazed down at him, “Feeling better, I hope?”

Ryuji’s eyes trailed from those deep eyes to his neckline, letting out a shaky exhale as he saw the hickies that were blooming on Yusuke’s neck from the previous night.

God why hadn’t Yusuke been born a chick?

Ryuji just nodded, turning on his side as he avoided looking at him.

“I’m glad.” Yusuke said with a chuckle, before leaning in and kissing Ryuji’s shoulder. “Now… unlike you, my class starts at eight, so I really must get going so I can set up my paints and finish my homework.” he said as he got up, “I washed your clothes, they’re folded on the counter by your tea.”

Ryuji let out a hum of acknowledgement, closing his eyes as he listened to the sounds of Yusuke getting ready, before the man headed out the door.

When the door clicked shut, he grabbed at his hair in frustration.

What the fuck was happening?

What was he even doing here?

Ryuji checked his phone, and sure enough he had several worried texts from his mother.

Fuck.

He sighed and texted her saying he fell asleep at a friends house, before kicking up off the bed and pacing.

The hell was he doing with Yusuke of all people?

Like he had been horny as all hell, but even if Yusuke was being a bro and okay with helping him out with it that didn’t mean he should say yes.

He liked chicks for fucks sake.

Ryuji grimaced as he scuffed his foot on the ground in frustration.

It was an accident.

Ryuji nodded at this conclusion.

He just so happened to be horny as hell, and Yusuke just so happened to be there and a willing vent to his frustrations.

Yusuke had always been kinda weird. He did and said things that weren’t normal, so this was probably not that different. I mean it’s not like Yusuke had asked him about anything, didn’t even ask him out. The guy probably thought he was just doing him a favor.

For all he knew Yusuke was perfectly straight and saw this as a way to help a friend.

“Okay.” Ryuji sighed in relief. “Just gotta like… not be around Yusuke when i’m horny.” He reasoned to himself.

Things can just go back how they were.

Yusuke probably would think he’s stupid as shit for getting as worked up as he was.

Yeah, he was being stupid. He wasn’t going to be weird about it.

He got up and put on his clothes, grabbing his bag and kicking on his shoes as he headed to the door. He had class at nine so he should probably get his ass on the train.

He stopped and stared back at the tumbler of iced tea, debating whether or not he should take it before going back and grabbing it, stuffing it in his bag.

He made his way out of the dorms, happy most of the students were gone as he ran to the subway line.

Yeah… starting today last night never happened.

Ryuji got off on the Aoyama stop and paused, taking out the tumbler and taking a sip.

“Mm… sweet.” He said to himself with a smile, before running towards his school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yusuke. All bright eyed and eager to please and Ryuji thinks he's just being a bro >w>
> 
> Thanks for reading, more will be up soon ;D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's easier to avoid an issue than confront it. Just because its easier doesn't mean it will solve it, and can even make it worse.

School ended, and Akira texted for them all to meet at their hideout in his room. 

Ryuji smiled in excitement, happy to show some bastards what’s what. With Futaba being a new addition to the party, he knew he was ready to start seriously kicking ass.

He got there a bit late, everyone waiting up on him.

Everyone including Yusuke.

Nerves began to creep on him, but he shook it off.

Remember, nothing happened. 

He nodded to himself, before smiling brightly and making his way to Mementos with them, changing a few hearts and kicking some ass along the way.

Everything went without a hitch, and they managed to get what they were done with for the day.

When they returned, everyone began to disperse to head home.

“Ah, Ryuji!” Yusuke called out to him.

Shit.

Ryuji felt a bit of dread as he turned to Yusuke.

There was that goddamn smile, his eyes all warm and pure and completely different from the Yusuke that had been in the hideout and in Mementos.

“What’s up?” Ryuji asked quietly.

It never happened. Remember it never happened.

Yusuke glanced to the side shyly, “I hope the tea was to your liking.” 

“Oh uh… yeah.” Ryuji said as he tugged the tumbler out of his bag, “It was great. Thanks Yusuke.” 

Yusuke beamed at him, looking excited as he took the tumbler back, “I… If you enjoyed it you can always come to my dorm again. I can make you more whenever you like.”

Yusuke looked so eager to please.

The artist's eyes hooded and he glanced to the side, “I’m… free today if you’d like to come back with me.” The artist offered.

Ryuji felt his heart began to hammer in his chest.

Was… Yusuke offering to bring him back so they could…

No. That shit didn’t happen.

Yusuke just wanted to make him tea. He was grateful for the help yesterday and was just returning the favor.

If that was the case…

“Actually, can’t. Mom is super pissed that I stayed out all night without texting her so I gotta go home and show her i’m not dead.” Ryuji said with a sheepish grin.

Yusuke’s smile fell slightly, “Ah… I-I see.” He said before clasping his hands behind him and looking down, “Another time then.” 

Ryuji nodded, before turning and breaking out into a run to get home.

Yes another time.

That became the magic phrase.

Yusuke would text or ask him about hanging out, Ryuji would say he had other plans already or be tired or studying or doing homework.

For quite a while he had been busy, and by busy he meant couldn’t hang out with Yusuke.

Yusuke slowly texted him less and less, and stopped asking if he’d come with him after Mementos.

Ryuji figured it was for the best. He wasn’t sure how to confront the situation, and Yusuke wasn’t pushing him to, so letting it die out naturally was for the best, right?

Then, one day going to Mementos Yusuke was the late one.

“It’s been an hour.” Ann said with a pout, “Usually Yusuke is the first one here, what gives?”

“He could’ve gotten held up.” Makoto offered, “He does go to a different school, maybe he has a project.”

“Nah.” Futaba said quietly. “Inari’s been on this side of town pretty much for the past few hours, he’s just been dodging coming up here for some reason.” She paused, “Looks like he’s done spazzing and is headed here.”

Ann frowned, “He has kinda closed in on himself lately, maybe he’s stressed out about something.” She offered.

Akira shrugged.

Morgana sighed, “Either way if he doesn’t wanna talk about it don’t bring it up. We all have our off days. We gotta focus on the mission.”

Ryuji kept quiet, not really wanting to admit he had an inkling as to why Yusuke was upset.

Sure enough in a few minutes Yusuke walked up, a calculated countenance to his features.

“My apologies, I had a few things on my mind. I am ready for our excursion now.” He said quietly.

Ann worriedly walked up to him, “You sure Yusuke? We can always schedule the day for another time right guys?

Yusuke shook his head, “No. I am fine. We should go today.” He said, walking past her and moving to sit in his usual spot.

Ryuji frowned, “You sure Inari?” He asked.

Yusuke ignored him, turning to look at Akira, “I am in your hands, Leader. We can go when you’re ready.”

Akira held his gaze for a moment, before nodding and motioning for everyone to go with him into mementos.

Ryuji followed everyone, trailing behind a bit and troubled as Yusuke refused to acknowledge him at all.

Still, their Mementos trip worked out alright, and they were done with their mission fairly quickly. This was a cut and dry job, and was a piece of cake, ready to go home.

At least that was the plan, which went well until they were heading back to a rest stop.

One fight, he just had to do one fight right and he would be fine.

Makoto clapped her hand against Ryuji, the surge of power she initially got passed to him and charged him up. He took aim and fired off a bolt of electricity at another enemy.

“Skull, pass the baton to Fox!” Futaba yelled out. 

Ryuji turned to Yusuke, ready to keep their momentum going, and he froze.

Fox was offering his hand out, but he wasn’t looking to him, he was looking to the ground but his eyes gave everything away.

He was hurt.

Ryuji’s heart clenched.

Yusuke raised a brow and looked at him when he didn’t immediately pass his strength over.

“SKULL!” Morgana yelled out.

Ryuji turned to Morgana, raising a brow before suddenly a gust of wind hit him hard, knocking him off his feet and toppling him as he got winded. He looked up at the enemy, eyes wide as it towered over him with a large sword, ready to swing down on him.

He braced himself for the hit.

The hit never came.

He opened his eyes, wincing as warm blood splattered onto his face, before gazing in shock up at Yusuke.

Fox took the hit, his shoulder and back torn open as he fell forward.

“Fox’s been knocked out, His readings are bad!” Futaba yelled out.

Ryuji caught him, and Joker stepped up. 

“Fall back.” He ordered, “We’ll take it from here.” He said as Morgana, Ann, and Makoto took the front.

Ryuji sputtered, “But-”

“Don’t Argue Ryuji. The rest spot is right down those stairs so get down there and treat Fox while we deal with these assholes!” Makoto ordered.

Ryuji’s heart sunk, and he got up, moving Fox so he was carrying him piggyback and sprinting to the escalator, taking him down and sighing as he saw the familiar safe haven. 

He took Yusuke to the waiting area and sat him down, pulling out a balm of life and crushing it over his wounds as the item began to work it’s magic. 

Yusuke’s eyes fluttered open, and he gazed weakly at Ryuji. “What… Happened?” 

Ryuji grit his teeth, “You kamikaze’d you idiot! You were already tired, why the hell did you take a hit like that?!”

Yusuke recalled the incident and laughed bitterly, wincing a bit from his wounds that hadn’t quite healed, “I’m the idiot? When you couldn’t even do something as simple as touch my hand?” He sneered out, before giving him a condescending look. “I can’t really see myself as the idiot for fixing your blunder.” He said coldly.

Ryuji grit his teeth and looked to the side, “You should’ve let me take the hit, I could’ve taken it.”

“And you should’ve passed your power to me, but it seems we all make mistakes.” He said as he firmly pushed Ryuji back, “Move. I can tend to my own wounds.” He bit out.

“Like hell you can. Usually this stuff works a lot quicker, but you really took a fucking beating.” Ryuji reached out to pull Yusuke up.

Yusuke slapped Ryuji’s hand away, “I do NOT need your patronization, nor do I need your pity. I can stand on my own.” He grit out, shooting him an icy look.

Ryuji tensed.

He hadn’t seen that look since Yusuke was Madarame’s pupil. Since he had looked at both Ryuji and Akira like they were less than dirt in his eyes.

Ryuji took a small step back to give him space.

Yusuke slowly stood up straight, taking a step forward.

He swayed, and toppled.

Ryuji barely had the time to catch him, and cradled him close just as the rest of the team came barreling down the escalator.

Futaba healed him, frowning when his wounds closed much slower than usual. “He shouldn’t have gotten hit with that. Even if we heal him he’s gonna be really sore and weak.” She said with a sigh. “Someone’s gonna have to take care of him for a few days.” 

Ryuji felt guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. He glanced down at Yusuke with a soft sigh, “I’ll do it.” he murmured out.

Morgana raised a brow, “You sure? I’m sure we can convince boss to let us keep him.”

“No… I should…” Ryuji let out a sigh. “I’m the reason he got hurt right? My bad, my responsibility.”

Ann shrugged, “If you say so.”

Makoto smiled, “Honestly, it’s endearing to see you take charge like that Ryuji.”

Ryuji glanced to the side, “Yeah yeah… whatever.” He said as he lifted Yusuke up, carrying him piggyback again as they made their way out of Mementos.

Sojiro was nice enough to drive them to the Kosei dorms, even going in with him to check him in.

“Yeah He said he wasn’t feeling well and passed out. I think he hasn’t been eating well.” Ryuji said quietly to the front as an excuse. 

The people at the desk let him into his room easy enough, and after he got past the mountain of fangirls following him he got into the dorm room and laid Yusuke down on the bed. The blonde sighed as he wondered how the hell someone like Yusuke got so much attention from the ladies when not a single one would look his way.

Still he didn’t dwell on it. He was tired, it was a long day and he had to convince his mom he was going on a school trip camping with his friends to get out of questions for the next couple days.

He sat a chair by Yusuke’s bed and slumped over it, gazing sleepily at his soft features. 

Yusuke looked nice like this. No anger etched into his features, just an innocent softness.

Ryuji ran a hand through Yusuke’s hair, smiling warmly as Yusuke leaned into the touch before relaxing back in his chair as he began to doze.

Yeah… he’d be fine with this in the morning… 

But for now, sleep was calling him.

Ryuji yawned, before dozing off in his the chair by the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yusuke. Ryuji is an angry smol and has no tact whatsoever. Just gotta wait and see what happens. :>


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguing right when you wake up isn't fun, but sometimes it's necessary.

Ryuji woke up to a hard hit, falling off his chair to the floor.

He sputtered as he glared up, finding the source of his problems glaring at him from the top of the bed. 

“The hell was that for?!” Ryuji barked out.

Yusuke glowered at him, “I do not believe I gave you permission to enter my abode. I ask that you take your leave.”

“What? No way princess.” Ryuji said as he crossed his arms. “Our leader put me in charge of taking care of your ass. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

Well… it technically wasn’t a lie. Yusuke didn’t need to know Ryuji volunteered though.

Yusuke gave him a defiant look, before glancing away dejectedly, “...If that’s what our leader wants.” He said quietly.

Ryuji growled, before getting up and dusting off his pants. “Yeah, our leader is having some doctor come over to make sure you didn’t break or some shit. Takemi or something like that. Otherwise i’m gonna be here for a couple days so get used to it.” He said with a frown.

Yusuke let out a long sigh, looking genuinely disappointed that Ryuji was staying.

What the hell? A couple days ago he was all over him trying to get him to hang out and come over, even wanting to spend money he DIDN’T have on him.

Now suddenly Yusuke looked like he wanted him to go die in a fire? What gives?

“Did I piss you off or something? The hell.” Ryuji grumbled as he got up, going to the kitchen area and heating up some hot water in the coffee pot. “Hey you like tea right? What kind do you wanna drink?”

Yusuke refused to look at him.

“Hey. Earth to Yusuke.” He called out, annoyed.

Yusuke pursed his lips, before fiddling with the covers, “Black tea is fine. There is a coconut Puer one that i’m quite fond of if you could steep that for me.”

Steep?

Ryuji busted out his phone, looking up how to make tea.

He did his best to follow the directions, pouring the hot water from the coffee machine over the tea strainer and letting it sit for a bit, before taking the steeper out and bringing the mug to Yusuke.

Yusuke hesitantly took the mug, setting it on his lap as he kept his head down.

Ryuji frowned.

This was awkward.

“Hey uh… the doc is gonna be here soon… Imma go out and get something to eat while you’re getting checked out… do you want anything in particular?”

Yusuke pouted, warming the cup in his hand. “I require Unadon with a side of miso soup and some gyoza. Preferably from the little restaurant down the street.” He said childishly. “I am quite fond of the way they cook their food.”

Ryuji gaped.

THE FUCK?

Did he look like a fucking bank?! That shit sounded expensive!

Ryuji stared at Yusuke.

He wasn’t joking.

. . .

“I’ll be back later.” He grumbled, leaving the dorm and slamming the door.

Fucking dick was gonna be the end of his wallet.

Still… Ryuji pondered.

If he had somehow fucked up as bad as it seemed he had, he couldn’t deny this would probably be the best peace offering.

“God… DAMMIT.” Ryuji groaned, making his way to the shop.

HIs wallet was crying.

By the time he made his way back up, Dr. Takemi was coming out of the room.

“Oh, you’re the kid looking after him?” She asked inquisitively.

Ryuji nodded with a pout.

She sighed and let out a sigh, “I couldn’t do much without an X-Ray but it seems like he’s got some very deep tissue scarring… he’s not to leave that bed for a few days save for showering and going to the restroom, which he’s going to need support to help him get to and from the bed. He is NOT to stand on his own for a little while still.” She ordered.

Ryuji sighed and glanced to the side, “Alright.”

Takemi smiled, “I’ll tell the people at the front desk you’re his registered caretaker, otherwise he’s all yours. Painkillers for him are on the table.”

Ryuji nodded, waving her off before walking into the room. 

“Hey, Criperella. I got your damn food.” Ryuji said with a sigh, placing the bag on the table before rummaging through it, “The hell do you want to eat first?”

Yusuke turned to him with wide eyes, “You’re… You actually went to that restaurant and bought food for me?”

 

Ryuji glared at him, “Yeah and it cleaned out my wallet, so you better eat it.” 

Yusuke stared at him in shock, before glancing to the side. “...The Gyoza then… I prefer appetizers before my main meal.”

Ryuji frowned, grabbing the takeout plate, sauce and a pair of chopsticks before setting everything on the little dresser by the bed. “There.” He grumbled, before sitting and huffing at the loss of his money.

Yusuke stared down at the food, before giving a sidelong glance to Ryuji, “My… Sensei would buy me this after an exhibition where one of my pieces did well… I haven’t had it since his change of heart…” He took a small bite of the dumpling, “I didn’t have the money to buy it regularly.”

Ryuji pouted as he stared at the ceiling, “Yeah well enjoy it. I can’t afford fancy shit like that all the time… or at all… m’happy I have all my subway money on my train card.”

Yusuke fidgeted, “Why… did you buy this for me then?”

Ryuji sighed, “Because you’re fuckin’ pissed off at me for some reason!” He kicked the desk before pouting at the artist, “I mean I don’t get what i did but I’m sorry alright?”

Yusuke blinked at him, before clearing his throat, “I’m… mad at you?” He asked quietly.

The fuck?

Was Yusuke playing mind games with him?

“Yeah, You’ve been glaring at me and ignoring me and you obviously wanna see my wallet cry. On top of not wanting to be around me I figured you’re just… ngrhgh…Mad.”

Yusuke fidgeted, “I was more… upset then mad until your blunder.” He admitted quietly, before turning to look at the blonde, “Are you certain it isn’t you who is upset at me?”

Ryuji gaped.

Was Yusuke high?

“No man, I mean yeah i’m fuckin’ pissed that i’m broke now, but why the hell would I be mad at you? You’re the one giving me the dirty looks!” Ryuji accused.

“Then did I do something wrong?! I understand I’m not very good at social interaction, and I understand my eccentricity can lead me to not understand when i’ve upset people…” Yusuke paused, looking frustrated, “But did I really… do something so abhorrent you can’t even touch me as a comrade in battle?!”

What?

“Dude what the hell are you talking about?!” Ryuji tossed his head back, tired of this conversation. “I don’t get where you got me being mad at all!”

“I am NOT a fool, so STOP pretending I didn’t upset you!” Yusuke screamed out, pausing before glancing to the side. “I… I’m no idiot… You’ve been avoiding me like the plague, and I even saw you with our leader on one of the days you cancelled… the day you said your mom needed your help.” 

Ryuji was struck silent.

Yusuke let out a shaky sigh, before continuing, “I… I was fine with accepting whatever upset I gave you despite how it pained me, but… for you to rather risk death than to TOUCH me… when all you had to do was touch my palm…”

Oh.

Oh crap.

Ryuji had it backwards.

Yusuke wasn’t mad at him.

Yusuke was upset because he thought Ryuji was mad at him, and he didn’t know why… and thought he was so mad he fucked up the baton pass on purpose.

“Fuck- Yusuke… N-No man I…” Ryuji sighed, “M’not mad at you okay?”

“Liar.” Yusuke spat out.

“REALLY. I’m not.” Ryuji said quietly.

“Then why didn’t you continue the momentum of the fight?!”

“BECAUSE I SAW YOU WERE UPSET OKAY?.” Ryuji bellowed out, putting his head in his hands with a frustrated sigh. “I saw it… how upset you were and...and… it bothered me a lot… so much that I forgot what I was doing.” he glanced up to Yusuke shyly, “The baton pass flub was an accident… I honestly didn’t mean it like that.”

Yusuke’s features softened, and Ryuji’s heart warmed a bit at the lack of callousness on his features.

“Then why did you ignore me so much…?” Yusuke asked gently, “Why did you lie about being busy if you weren’t mad at me?” 

Ryuji flushed shyly at that. 

“Um… I um…” Ryuji laughed nervously, “I uh… was… I-It’s…”

Yusuke looked at him curiously, cocking his head to the side.

 

“i-It’s… I-It was- um…” Ryuji flushed pink. “Th-The uh… W-Well what happened on the train… and in the sh-shower that night when I was here?” Ryuji bit his bottom lip.

Yusuke fidgeted, flushing a bit as he glanced to the side, “Oh… Yes?”

“I… I mean I’m grateful you helped me out… As a friend and all, but I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you... “ Ryuji flushed shyly, “I really didn’t want you to think you had to… w-well that you had to… do those things for me…” 

Yusuke blinked curiously at him, “We’re lovers though, Are those things not what lovers do?”

Wait WHAT?!

“Dude we’re not lovers!” He barked out.

“Why? Were my ministrations not to your liking?”

“That’s not- That’s not how lovers work!”

“Sen- I mean, Madarame said you are only to perform sexual acts like that upon someone if you wish to make them your lover.” Yusuke quipped, “Were you not performing sexual acts with me?”

Ryuji’s head was spinning.

He thought Yusuke was just helping him out, he didn’t realize Yusuke thought he had taken him as a fucking LOVER.

“I was fucking HORNY Yusuke! That was… I was just… I thought you were helping me out as a friend…” Ryuji groaned, pulling at his hair.

Yusuke grew quiet, “I see…” He murmured out. “...does that mean… you do not like doing those things?”

Ryuji let out a small whine.

This was complicated.

“I mean of fucking course I liked it… It was…”

Amazing.

Mind blowing as all fuck.

Seriously Yusuke was a virgin right? How the fuck did he manage to make him feel so good?

“Nice.” Ryuji finally settled. “I mean… I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to since I was so forward… Your my friend and stuff so… I didn’t want to force that kinda thing…”

“Mmh… I think I understand…” Yusuke said thoughtfully.

Ryuji sighed in relief.

Thank god, because this was getting ridiculous.

Yusuke cleared his throat, before reaching out and placing a hand on Ryuji’s knee, “So if the problem is that you think you’re forcing me… What if I want to do those things with you?” 

Oh god.

“Wh...what?” Ryuji gaped at him.

Yusuke’s eyes hooded, and he glanced to the side shyly, “I am… saddened that you don’t see me as a prospect as far as being a lover…” He slowly leaned forward, “But… if you’d have me… I don’t really want to stop being like this with you, Ryuji.” he said quietly.

What.

What….

Ryuji’s brain wasn’t processing this well.

“So…” Ryuji said cautiously, “You… wanna be friends with benefits, then?” He asked curiously.

Yusuke pondered, “If that is the only option available to continue what we’ve been doing, then yes.”

Ryuji should say no.

It would only make shit complicated when he finally wanted to settle down with a girl. Hell he didn’t even like guys.

It’s not his fault Yusuke looked so goddamn pretty…

And was fun to make out with…

And felt good to grind on...

And gave good head…

...fuck maybe it wouldn’t be so bad as a temporary thing…

I mean it wasn’t unheard of for teenagers to experiment. Didn’t mean you were gay, just meant you were getting a bit of life experience before you settled down and focused on one person.

“You… really sure okay with that Yusuke?” Ryuji tried one more time, trying to give Yusuke an out.

Yusuke flushed, leaning forward as much as his hurt torso would allow, and gently placing a kiss on Ryuji’s cheek, “I’m positive.” he said quietly.

 

Ryuji warmed from the kiss, finding himself leaning in as Yusuke pulled away, “Why me though…?” 

Yusuke set his food aside as Ryuji leaned over him, bringing a hand up and tracing Ryuji’s cheek gently, “I… have grown fond of you, Ryuji… that is all.” 

Fond…

Ryuji could work with fond…

“Me too.” Ryuji said quietly, before leaning in the rest of the way and pressing a kiss to Yusuke’s lips.

God it was immediate fire.

Ryuji sat on the bed, pressing into the kiss easily as he ran his tongue over Yusuke’s. 

He missed this.

He’d probably never admit it, but he wholeheartedly missed the ease he slipped into this with Yusuke.

Yusuke let out a soft sound, and Ryuji settled next to him in bed as he deepened their kiss, their tongues running over each other easily. Ryuji reached his arm out, draping it over Yusuke’s hip as he relaxed against him.

Yusuke moved to wrap his arms around Ryuji, but paused with a wince as he pulled away from the kiss.

Ryuji panted, kissing Yusuke’s temple before pushing Yusuke to lay back, “You should rest idiot. You’re hurt.” He murmured out

Yusuke pouted, “But I have missed you terribly.” He protested, “Having you here…. After so long I wish to do nothing but make up for lost time.”

Jesus. Ryuji thought he was the one with the sex drive.

“Mh… just rest for now.” Ryuji said with a flush, “I’ll… I’ll be here the rest of the week so… w-we have plenty of time to fool around…”

Yusuke glanced to the side in contemplation, before letting out a soft sigh, “If you believe that is best, then I will concede.” He murmured, before cuddling with him.

Ryuji yawned, happy he was able to lay in the bed. They were probably both exhausted from the day, so Ryuji was glad Yusuke made up with him.

Sure enough, soon after they settled in Yusuke drifted off to sleep.

Ryuji mentally wondered if their… agreement was such a good idea, but quickly brushed it off.

Experimenting was normal.

Everything was fine.

He could enjoy this while he did, and when he felt it was time to stop he would.

With that in mind, he yawned and relaxed back, happily drifting off to sleep with Yusuke curled against his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Yusuke and making him as spontaneous as I can, ees fun~
> 
> See you with more soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best way to find boundaries is to test them. What do you do when you test those boundaries and find none?

The next few days were awkward to say the least.

Now that he had a solid definition to their relationship, Ryuji was excited about the prospect of experimenting with Yusuke.

He just wasn’t really sure just how far he was supposed to go.

I mean friends with benefits was so vague, what did those benefits entail? 

He assumed it was up to him and Yusuke, and how far they were willing to go.

Problem is Yusuke seemed willing to do anything.

Ryuji woke with a hard-on in the morning, and Yusuke had made out with him as he gave him a hand job.

“F-Fuck… nh… y’don’t gotta do that Yusuke.” Ryuji panted out between the kisses as he bucked eagerly into Yusuke’s hand.

Yusuke smiled into the kiss, teasing the tip of the blonde’s erection before pumping his shaft eagerly, “I know… but I want to.” He breathed out as he worked Ryuji to completion.

The afternoon rolled around, and Ryuji heated up the leftovers for Yusuke and they had shared them, by shared Ryuji basically meant Yusuke ate so sensually that he got bothered again, and when Yusuke noticed he “dropped” a piece of food on his bare torso and asked for Ryuji’s assistance.

“If you’re hungry…” Yusuke purred out, “Then I don’t mind giving you a portion.”

Ryuji stammered a bit, before leaning forward, “I-I mean there’s no extra plates…” He said as he eyed the piece of meat resting on Yusuke’s chest.

Yusuke smiled as he lay back, “Then perhaps we should improvise?” He offered.

Ryuji didn’t think eating food off someone’s body and then licking them clean could be so hot, but it was. It left them both hard and Ryuji was more than happy to kiss Yusuke stupid while he rut against his hips till they were both cumming.

In the morning they were sticky, and Yusuke demanded a shower.

Ryuji helped him to the shower, before going and swapping the sheets out.

As he finished Yusuke called out for Ryuji, and when the blonde peeked in Yusuke was flushed and hard.

Ryuji felt a warmth spread over him, “Mh… M’dirty too… can I join you?” Ryuji murmured out.

Yusuke smiled “I was counting on it, Ryuji.” He said softly.

Ryuji hopped in and they reenacted their first time in the shower, with much more enthusiasm.

By the third day, Ryuji was pretty sure he knew Yusuke’s body fairly well. 

He knew there was a very sensitive area on the crook of his neck. 

He knew Yusuke liked his nipples to be teased.

Strange enough though… Yusuke seemed to like it most when Ryuji had him pinned and was rutting against him.

Not that Ryuji was opposed, other than getting head grinding on Yusuke was probably his favorite thing to do, but there’s no way Yusuke was getting enough stimulation out of it.

I mean Yusuke got off afterward, either due to Ryuji or doing it himself, but to have THAT much fun being humped was odd to Ryuji.

Which led them to day four. Yusuke had basically healed, only having minor soreness when he moved, so he was on his hands and knees, panting as Ryuji hunched over him, rutting without a care in the world as he kissed down Yusuke’s nape.

“Harder…” Yusuke moaned out.

Ryuji didn’t have to be told twice. He bit down on the crook of Yusuke’s neck and grinded harder. 

He was so glad Yusuke had lube, the slick feel of his ass on the sides of his member was seriously amazing.

He was getting into it, he was getting to his peak.

Then the tip of his shaft caught on Yusuke, right at his hole and he froze.

God Ryuji could probably just push forward and he’d be inside him.

He was lubed up enough…

. . .

What the fuck was he thinking.

Ryuji moved off of Yusuke, panting as he glanced to the side, “I should go get some air.” He breathed out, getting up and beginning to toss on his clothes.

Yusuke gave him a worried look, “Are you sure? You’re still-”

“M’sure.” Ryuji said, wincing as he buttoned his pants over his painfully hard erection.

Yusuke fidgeted, letting out a soft sigh, “The trains have stopped running… so please take care… it’s quite late.” He offered.

Ryuji refused to look at Yusuke, nodding before making his way out.

He had been so eager.

Ryuji probably could’ve just pushed in and he would’ve basically popped both their cherries.

Having his first time? With Yusuke?

It wouldn’t have been right. He couldn’t just have sex with him like that. He hadn’t had Yusuke’s consent, and besides he wanted his first time to be with a girl.

Experimenting was one thing, but full on sex? Could that be considered experimenting?

Ryuji took out his phone and began to do some research.

Hmph. apparently there were stories of full on straight guys having sex with dudes during experimental phases… 

But even then, even if he could find it in himself to justify it he didn’t have Yusuke’s consent, and he wasn’t about to push his benefits situation to include sex.

Yeah he didn’t want to force Yusuke into that.

His first time should be with someone he likes, not just a fling.

He wouldn’t even bring it up. Yusuke could make his own decisions and have a good time with whoever he chose.

“Gotta be a responsible Ryuji.” He said to himself, proud of his reflection. Making up his mind, he went back to the room, letting himself back in.

He froze.

Holy shit.

Yusuke was masturbating, a hand on his nipple and the other…

Oh… Oh Yusuke.

His fingers were currently pushing in and out of his opening, lube thickly coated on his fingers as he stretched and touched within himself.

Yusuke gazed at Ryuji with a shy flush, “Ah..n… Ryuji… you came back sooner than I anticipated…” He groaned out. “I was hoping to be properly stretched before that…

Properly stretched?

What?

Ryuji stuttered, shifting uncomfortably as his pants quickly grew too tight again, “S-Stretched properly? What are you talkin’ about…?”

Yusuke eyed him up and down, “Well… it’s been a while and… you still haven’t been able to properly breach me.” He said shyly, “I figured I was too tight for you, so I am trying to accommodate you better for intercourse.” 

What….?

WHAT?!

“Y-You…” Ryuji stammered out, his whole body trembling, “You want me to have sex with you?” He asked timidly.

Yusuke gazed at him with hooded eyes, “Why yes… If my tightness is making it hard for you, you could have just told me.” He breathed out.

Holy fucking shit.

Not only did Yusuke want to have sex, but he had been counting on things to escalate to it?

Ryuji took a shaky step forward, almost mesmerized as he took Yusuke in, “Sex… with me… you want to…?” He asked breathily.

Yusuke nodded. “Of course I do, Ryuji.”

Ryuji’s heart fluttered.

Suddenly all the reasoning he’d done outside died in his head.

What was wrong with having sex with Yusuke again?

Ryuji couldn’t remember.

All he saw was Yusuke, open and willing and waiting for him

Yusuke sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around Ryuji and tugging him into a liplock. 

Ryuji easily returned it, holding Yusuke close as he fell into the familiar kiss.

He got so into it his brain barely registered Yusuke unzipping his pants and tugging his erection out, giving a minor shudder as Yusuke teased over it.

Yusuke pulled Ryuji atop him, and the blonde caved his arms over the artist’s head as he allowed Yusuke to lead, not able to think about anything else.

Then suddenly the tip of his shaft was met with a familiar resistance, and he pulled slightly away from the kiss to glance down.

He was back in that same position, just a push and he’d be inside.

He looked at Yusuke, who smiled reassuringly as he wrapped his legs around the blonde’s hips.

“It’s okay…” Yusuke breathed out, stroking his cheek, “I don’t mind.”

That line… that same line Yusuke gave him on the train… That same tone that started it all.

Ryuji kissed him as he pushed forward, groaning into the kiss as the head of his shaft breached the tight, wet opening.

Oh…

Okay screw head… this was probably the best his dick had ever felt.

Yusuke arched up, and Ryuji cradled his back, kissing affectionately over his face.

“You okay?” Ryuji asked softly, trailing the affectionate kisses to his chin and neck as he tried to keep his hips still.

Yusuke trembled a bit, before clinging to Ryuji’s shirt, nodding shyly, “I am fine… its… strange, but not unbearable.” He said as he gazed shyly up to Ryuji, “You may continue.”

Ryuji didn’t need to be told twice. He shuddered as he pulled slightly out, before pushing back in. He repeated this a few more times, trying to keep it a gentle roll of his hips until he was fully sheathed.

Christ it was like Yusuke was sucking him in, it took every ounce of willpower not to just pound into him.

Yusuke let out a few soft noises before kissing over Ryuji’s face, hiking his leg up a bit more. “Faster.” he begged.

Ryuji once again didn’t need to be told twice.

The blonde began to set a rhythm, the slow roll of his hips slowly picking up speed as he got the hang of it.

Yusuke let out little noises as he was pushed into, biting his bottom lip to try and stifle them as Ryuji began to go faster and harder inside.

For some reason, Ryuji didn’t like that Yusuke was trying to be quiet. 

He could fix that.

He bit at the crook of Yusuke’s neck, gripping Yusuke’s hips and pounding more eagerly into the willing and pliant body below him.

“A-Ah, there!” A moan was torn from Yusuke’s lips, and Ryuji smiled. 

So he liked this angle? Ryuji could work with that.

He focused on keeping Yusuke’s hips angled as they were, pistoning in and out of him messily as he darkened the hickies on Yusuke’s neck. 

Yusuke tossed his head to the side, his hand shooting down to pump his shaft and the other gripping hard at the sheets. The bed creaking hard from the rough thrusts.

Ryuji was euphoric. He felt a natural high from this he couldn’t describe.

It was like he was floating, a cord in his body being pulled tighter and tighter with each thrust as his blood rushed, spurring him to keep his hips moving. 

And his cock… holy hell he never wanted to stop burying it in Yusuke. 

He went faster, harder, wanting to be as deep as he could go as the fast slap of skin on skin was drowned out by the rising hum of pleasure in his ears.

He was so distracted by his euphoric high that his climax blindsided him.

Ryuji let out a stuttered moan as he slammed his hips into Yusuke, a few jagged thrusts aiding his climax as he pumped his friend full of his seed.

That was enough for Yusuke, letting out a keen as he coated himself with thick ribbons of cum, panting as he squeezed his thighs around Ryuji to keep them connected through their climax.

Ryuji panted, gazing down at Yusuke with hooded eyes. 

Why did he have to be so damn pretty… 

Ryuji winced as he shifted, shuddering when he felt his seed shifting around his shaft as he pulled out, gazing in slight awe as the thick mess dripped out of Yusuke’s hole.

“S-Sorry” Ryuji said with a small flush, “I… I-It was really sudden and… I couldn’t stop myself…” 

“Mm?” Yusuke hummed, gazing up at hi with hooded eyes, “ah… no it’s fine…” Yusuke said as he stretched out, “I’m glad you finished this way… it feels… so wonderful.” 

Ryuji glanced to the side shyly, “M… m’glad…” he said with a nervous laugh, before laying with Yusuke.

He took it back, screw if it was just an experiment… his first time was mind-blowing and he wouldn’t change a single damn thing.

First time though… It was Yusuke’s first time too… right?

“Yusuke…? I um… get that you wanna do these things and all but… where did you learn how to do all that?” Ryuji asked.

Yusuke yawned, cuddling against Ryuji as he kissed his forehead, “Mm? What do you mean?”

“W-Well I mean… y’know giving head the foreplay… I mean jesus even the lead in to sex was… really damn forward…” Ryuji felt embarrassed, “This… isn’t exactly how I expected things to go. I mean… with you leading me and being so um… gung-ho about it.”

Yusuke lay back, “Mm, well that’s how it worked in the films I watched.” 

Ryuji paused.

What? 

Films?

“What kinda films?”

“Hmm… well when I was learning how to draw the human figure Madarame lent me some films to watch. They were fairly erotic in nature, but they provided me with a multitude of information on dynamic posing of the nude human figure.” Yusuke said, “On the train, the positioning reminded me of one of the films. I figured that the natural course of action would be to allow you release since you were in a predicament. So I offered my body to you.”

Ryuji blinked. 

Wait, what.

That sounded like porn.

Did Yusuke mean porn?

Did all this bullshit happen because of fucking PORN?

“So… Let me get this straight.” Ryuji said carefully “You let me hump you on the train because you saw it in a movie and thought that was normal?”

Yusuke nodded, “Yes.” 

“And… the head that next morning… you sucked me off that morning because of that too?”

“Correct.” Yusuke said matter-of-factly, “I do hope I did well, I didn’t have any prior experience beforehand.”

Ryuji’s head was spinning. 

“Yusuke… you didn’t do all of that.... Y-You didn’t have sex with me because you thought you had to because of those films… did you?” Ryuji asked carefully.

Yusuke shook his head, “No. I did them because I wanted to.” He said.

“Good, so you wouldn’t just do that for any normal stranger right?”

Yusuke frowned, “Heavens no… you’re my friend Ryuji… I would never let anyone touch me in such a manner if I didn’t trust them with my body.” He said quietly. “Before you… I had no experiences sexually with another.”

Ryuji sighed in relief, “Good… mngh… still… you shouldn’t do that kinda stuff with just anyone, even friends.” He lectured a bit. “You should do them with people you like and stuff… like… REALLY like.” he tried to explain.

Yusuke cocked his head to the side, “Well, I did them because I assumed you wanted to have me as a lover, remember? You rectified our arrangement yourself.”

Ryuji groaned, “Y-Yeah but that’s- mngh… that’s different. Our case is… different.”

“Different? How so?” Yusuke asked curiously.

“I-It just is!” Ryuji let out a frustrated sigh, “L-Look, unless you’re in love… mngh… don’t go messing around with anyone else okay? Our thing is very specific, but it’s not something you should do with just anyone… I won’t forgive you if you do.”

Yusuke pondered this for a moment, before letting out a sigh, “I don’t quite understand… but it’s fine. I don’t plan on doing this sort’ve thing with anyone else anyway.” He said as he settled with Ryuji. “I am fine having you as a sexual partner, so long as I can stay with you.” 

Ryuji flushed and held Yusuke close, “Yeah yeah… I’m not going anywhere. We’re friends and teammates, so it’s not like I could leave you if I tried.”

Yusuke smiled warmly, returning the hug. “Mm… though Ryuji… I believe i’m in dire need of a shower.”

“Yeah? Want me to help you over there?” He asked.

Yusuke leaned toward Ryuji’s ear, “I could… use some help getting cleaned up if you’d be willing to come shower with me.” He purred.

Ryuji flushed pink, “Y-Yeah…?” He said hopefully, “better get you to the shower then.” He said with a shy smile, Helping Yusuke up and taking him to the bath.

Ryuji decided that when trying to find his boundaries with Yusuke, there weren’t any.

He was surprisingly okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these last few chapters were pretty tame so here, have some smut >w>
> 
> Poor Ryuji is so confused at Yusuke's line of thinking, and Yusuke is bad with understanding how things work as per usual lol.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days go by, and the boys fall into a routine.

The next couple of weeks were a blur for Ryuji. 

They had recruited Haru and managed to finish her fathers palace quickly. They had so much time left they didn’t know what to do with it, even with going to Mementos.

So because they had free time, he and Yusuke were spending a lot of free time together.

Like a lot of free time.

Like the second they were out of sight they were grinding on eachother like rabbits free time. 

Which led them to their current predicament of fucking in an alley by Shujin Academy.

“Mn-nh… you really couldn’t wait for me to visit the dorm?” Ryuji panted out, piercing into Yusuke hard and fast as he pinned him hard against the wall.

Yusuke let out a soft whine as he spread his legs further, “You have to go home early to your mothers after this yes?” Yusuke managed to say between gasps, “I-ah… wanted to spend time with you since you couldn’t come back with me today…” He keened out.

Ryuji leaned in, unbuttoning Yusuke’s shirt more and tugging it to the side as he nosed over the crook of his neck, “M-mh… yeah… I’ve been thinkin’ bout this all day so…” He nipped at his skin, “Thanks for commin’ all the way out here Yusuke.” He whispered against his ear.

Yusuke let out a stuttered moan in response, painting the wall with his seed in thick spurts as he came.

Ryuji thrust into him a few more times, enjoying the heat before pulling out and jacking off to the sight of Yusuke’s mussed form, tensing as he came off to the side.

The two boys caught their breath, getting re-dressed before embracing and making out against the wall, Ryuji enjoying the soft liplock.

“Mh… Yusuke I gotta go.” He said in-between kisses.

Yusuke sighed, pulling away and giving Ryuji a wry smile, “Alright… Take care then, Ryuji. I’m a text away if you need me” He said quietly, kissing his cheek.” 

“Mh… what are you gonna do?” Ryuji asked curiously.

Yusuke pondered, “I think I’ll find a nice quiet spot and draw.” He settled, leaning in and kissing the blonde’s temple, “I’ll be counting the moments until I see you again, my friend.” He whispered against Ryuji’s ear, before making his way out of the alley with one final wave.

Ryuji watched him go, sighing.

Yusuke really did test his stamina.

When Yusuke was out of sight, Ryuji left to home, happy and in a daze.

Now that he had gotten Yusuke out of his system, he could dwell on other things for a bit.

. . .

And by a bit he meant maybe the trip home.

When he wasn’t with Yusuke, his thoughts trailed back to, well… Yusuke.

The sex was amazing, and he really couldn’t get enough of him.

Even doing chores for an hour couldn’t keep his brain off the way he looked… 

the noises he made… 

the words he spoke…

Yeah… it was great.

“Does my little Ryuji have a girl he’s not telling me about?” Ryuji’s mom quipped with a smile as she watched her son space out during cleaning.

Ryuji broke out of his thoughts, flushing pink, “N-No mom its nothing like that…” He said, embarrassed.

She smiled warmly, “A friend then? You seem fairly occupied lately Ryuji.” She said as she sat down, “Why not tell me about this person who’s whisked my son away pretty much every day after school and on the weekends, mm?

Ryuji opened his mouth and closed it, not really knowing what to say about Yusuke. Aside from the fact that he was stupid attractive for a guy, and was also extremely fun to fuck, he didn’t know much about im other than that he was an artist.

“He’s… just a really good friend mom.” He settled.

His mother smiled, “Alright honey. Well you’re free to do what you want. Thanks for helping me clean up the house a bit.” She said as she stretched.

Ryuji smiled, “Thanks mom.” He said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek, waving at her before going out.

God being cooped up made him antsy. 

He could really use a run.

Yeah a run would be nice.

So Ryuji ran, 

He ran down the winding road that opened up to the little market streets, and ran further. He kept running and running till eventually he found himself at the park.

He got on the joggers trail and kept it up for a while.

He recalled the days practicing on this trail, remembering a small off-road area he used to jog around when he wanted to train away from passers by.

He decided to run down it, going through a few bushes before seeing a hill sloping upward that would hide him from view once he was over it.

He ran up the hill, the lake beyond it coming into sight.

Then a familiar form caught his eye under a willow tree.

Yusuke was sitting down by a lake, sketchbook in hand as he drew away without a care in the world. 

Ryuji felt his heart flutter a bit, and ran up to him. 

“Yusuke!” Ryuji called out.

The young artist paused his drawing, flipping the page to a new one before looking over to Ryuji with a warm smile, “Ryuji… I thought you’d be busy with your mother all day.” 

“Yeah I got let off the hook early.” Ryuji said with a yawn as he stretched, “m’pretty exhausted though… ran like hell because it’s been awhile since I jogged… or did much of anything.”

Yusuke chuckled, “I concur… our activities have left us little time for other things. Aside from homework I haven’t done much in the ways of art…” Yusuke leaned back as he began sketching something new. “Since I was out here, I figured I may as well take the time to fill my sketchbook a bit.”

Ryuji sat next to Yusuke, staring curiously at the piece of paper as the lake before them had already begun to materialize within the sketchy shifts of Yusuke’s hand, “That’s crazy amazing to me still Yusuke… how you can just sort’ve take something and just… draw like that.” He said quietly.

Yusuke sighed, “Its nothing special. I worked hard at it is all.” he said as he glanced over to Ryuji with a smile, “You worked at running, I definitely do not possess the stamina to do what you do, and probably never will.”

Ryuji shrugged, “You could if you put your mind to it, but I get you… we all have our things we’re good at.” Ryuji grinned, “Your talents are just a bit more awesome than mine.”

Yusuke placed the sketchbook down, glancing at Ryuji with a warm smile, “To me you are… quite an extraordinary human being Ryuji… please do not think of yourself as any less.” he said quietly. It pains me to think you consider yourself less than what you are… which is magnificent.”

Ryuji flushed at that, glancing to the side shyly as his heart fluttered.

God when Yusuke talked like that… it stirred something fuzzy within him.

“Hey… can I kiss you?” Ryuji asked shyly.

Yusuke returned the small smile, leaning close. “Whenever you wish, Ryuji.” 

So they kissed, short and sweet under the willow tree.

Ryuji stayed with Yusuke after that, leaning against him and watching him draw as he relaxed from his run. 

It was so soothing…

It didn’t take long before Ryuji drifted off, Yusuke’s shoulder a comfort to his tired body.

It was a dreamless sleep, his mind focusing on the warmth of the body beside him and the breeze passing them by.

All too soon he was being woken up by Yusuke’s soft hand on his shoulder. 

“As much as I enjoy your company… I sadly must go home.” Yusuke whispered softly.

Ryuji whined a bit, before turning and staring at Yusuke, “You’re so comfortable though.”

Yusuke chuckled, “We can always do this another time. I don’t mind coming out here to draw… the scenery is lovely.”

Ryuji slowly nodded, “I take this jogging path a lot, so if I see you i’ll definitely chill here after my run.

Yusuke closed his sketchpad, hooking his pencil to it and putting it in his bag, “A promise to meet again, then.” he said with a smile.

Ryuji got up and dusted his pants off, before helping Yusuke up, “Yup, a promise.” He said with a warm smile.

Yusuke flushed pink, gazing to the side, “Can… can I be the one who asks for a kiss this time?” He asked hopefully.

Ryuji’s heart fluttered a bit, and he leaned in and gave him a kiss.

God they were so secluded, if Ryuji wanted to he could escalate it.

But he didn’t, Yusuke needed to get on the trains soon. They said their goodbyes and headed their separate ways. 

So a routine of theirs was born. If they were unable to go back to the dorms and bang like rabbits due to mementos or other engagements, Ryuji would go on his jog, and would almost always find Yusuke sitting with his sketchbook or a canvas. Ryuji would wave and jog down to the willow tree to join him for a nap. 

At some point, he started sitting with Yusuke and talking, actually telling Yusuke about his day. 

Yusuke would just smile and nod as he focused on his art piece.

Eventually, Ryuji started wondering things about Yusuke too.

What made him decide to paint certain things when he did, what his school life was like.

So he started asking, and Yusuke responded to all his questions in kind.

Eventually he started looking forward to those days more than Mementos.

They had become such close friends.

It was good, Ryuji thought, having a friend that was this close to him.

The sex was amazing yeah… but being able to lean on someone who wasn’t their leader… someone who was his alone to have for support warmed Ryuji in ways he couldn’t describe.

“M’glad we’re friends, Yusuke.” Ryuji finally said one day, laying in bed with him at the dorm on a sunday afternoon.

Yusuke hummed, kissing Ryuji’s temple as he draped an arm over him. “I’m glad to have you as well, Ryuji.” He murmured out against his skin.

Ryuji smiled a bit at that. 

Yusuke had always been a bit selfish in Ryuji’s eyes. Forsaking anyone's views for his own and always doing what he wanted even if it inconvenienced other people. He also had a knack for pretty roasting anyone who could be the butt of his little jokes.

When they were alone though it’s different. Yusuke never put himself first, and always let Ryuji have control. He never fought him on things, and he was okay with whatever definition Ryuji put on their relationship.

Relationship…

“Hey, Yusuke?” Ryuji murmured out.

“Mm?” Yusuke yawned as he opened his eyes a bit.

“You said you thought I took you as my lover a long time back… does that mean you’d have been okay with it?” Ryuji asked.

Yusuke cuddled up with Ryuji, “Of course I would have… mm… I wouldn’t have let you advance on me as you did if I didn’t”

Ryuji stared at Yusuke shyly.

“So… is that what you wanted out of this then?” Ryuji tried. 

“I want what you want, Ryuji.” Yusuke said honestly, “I like being like this with you, and I wouldn’t jeopardize that by being selfish.” 

“Mh…” Ryuji pouted, “What if you could be selfish? ...what if you could label this fling as whatever you wanted?”

Yusuke grew quiet, before kissing Ryuji’s temple. “It’s… getting late, Ryuji. Perhaps you should head home if you’re not planning on staying.”

Ryuji frowned, holding him, “I wanna stay. I brought extra clothes and everything.” He said with a pout, “Answer my question, don’t dodge it.” 

Yusuke sighed, “Does it matter? You established our relationship and it won’t change unless you want it to-”

“It does matter!” Ryuji whined, pinning Yusuke slightly below him.

Ryuji was getting frustrated. He didn’t know why but he was.

He needed to calm down.

“Look.. at least… tell me this.” He offered, staring down at Yusuke, “Are you… happy? Doing things like this with me?”

Ryuji didn’t know why, but he needed to know that Yusuke was happy. That he wasn’t just accommodating him.

For some reason he wanted Yusuke to feel the same way he did, whatever this feeling was.

Yusuke blinked up at Ryuji, his eyes wide and curious as he gazed at him “Ryuji…” He said shyly, his smile warm as he leaned up and kissed over his face, “I am happy because you make me happy.” He admitted quietly.

Ryuji felt warm.

“Yusuke…” Ryuji said lowly against Yusuke’s neck, bringing his hand down and hiking the artist’s leg up onto his hip, “let’s fool around for a bit.” He urged.

Yusuke flushed, wrapping his other leg around Ryuji with a small chuckle, “I thought you’d never ask.”

So the two spent a long night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hnnnngh... Ryuji is feelin' cute and different while Yusuke is being Yusuke~
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed, i'll try to update again soon >w<


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're on cloud nine, and the reality sinks in that in the end this is just a fling.
> 
> That's what it was... right?

Haru was amazing. Ryuji concluded.

She was kind, sweet, and pretty much everything they needed to round out their little gang of misfits. 

Even when her father died… she thought only of others and didn’t worry about herself.

Ryuji admired her in a way. Which is where he found himself babbling on and on about her to Mishima.

“I mean, she’s so strong y’know?” He said with a sigh, “If something like that happened to me… I dunno what i’d do.”

Mishima smiled, “It’s… sad yes. I’m surprised at how much of a shine you’ve taken to her though.” He bumped shoulders with Ryuji playfully, “Does someone have a crush?” He teased.

Ryuji frowned, “What? No dude. Haru’s just a friend.” he said.

Mishima raised a brow, “Really? You don’t find her attractive or what? I think she’s pretty cute myself.” 

Ryuji scratched the back of his head with a sigh, “Well no… I mean she’s a pretty girl but I wouldn’t wanna date her.” 

“Whaaat? Why not?”

“Because- I dunno, she’s not my type.”

“Dude. All girls are your type. Hell during the Hawaii trip you were gushing over her. What did you find a girlfriend while I wasn’t looking?” Mishima sputtered.

Ryuji raised a brow, “What? No… I just... “ Ryuji pondered, “I dunno… she doesn’t do it for me anymore. I think it’s because we’re close friends and stuff now.”

Mishima sighed, “If you say so... “ He said as he walked out of the school with them. Mishima stopped and gazed down at the school entrance, “Hey, your friend’s here again today.” 

Ryuji glanced down, and his body warmed up.

Yusuke was smiling up at him from the gate.

“Sorry Mishima, gotta go.” He said as he began to bound down the steps toward Yusuke.

Mishima raised a brow, “Dude don’t run you’re gonna trip! He ain’t goin anywhere!”

Ryuji didn’t care.

He had been waiting all day to see Yusuke. They were gonna relax by the pond again today.

Today was gonna be great.

At least that was the plan… until He was stopped as a girl stepped out in front of him.

But not just any girl.

No Ryuji knew this girl well.

“T-Tsubaki…?” He barked out when the girl walked in front of him.

Tsubaki Ooue. Girlfriend of the previous captain of the track team, and Ryuji’s first high school crush.

The girl was beautiful, all curves and a tiny waist with long, thick black hair and piercing coal eyes.

Ryuji’s perfect woman.

“U-Um… S-Sakamoto-Kun…” She flushed shyly as she leaned toward him, “I… Um… can we talk?” She asked.

Ryuji stared in awe at her, still not quite registering that she was talking to him, before stuttering, “U-Uh sure!” he said nervously.

She smiled eagerly, grabbing his hands and holding them in front of her. “Ah… hmmm...mh… can… can we go somewhere alone? Please?”

“Ah...u-a-alone?” He asked. 

This beautiful girl wanted to be alone with him?

Mmm….

Wait… no, Yusuke.

“S-sadly I have plans Tsubaki, m’sorry.” Ryuji said quickly, “can we do this another time?” he asked.

She shook her head, “N-No… I-I guess if you have plans I should just get to the point… um…” She flushed bright pink “U-Um…” She bowed, “P-Please go out with me!”

What…?

Ryuji gaped at her.

This wasn’t happening.

“B-But… I thought you were dating-”

“We… stopped dating!” She interrupted him. “I broke up with him because… w-well…” She fidgeted, “I really… really wanted to go out with you.” 

Ryuji couldn’t think.

The girl of his fucking dreams dumped a guy to go out with him?

“Ah- I-I… um…” Ryuji stammered, glancing around.

Mishima was gaping at him, people were looking at them as well due to how loud she was.

Holy shit a crowd was watching this little exchange.

Then his eyes fell on Yusuke.

That warm, happy smile was gone, instead a very neutral, almost pensive gaze had fallen on his features.

His heart clenched for some reason.

“I… C-Can I think about it?” He asked. 

Tsubaki looked slightly discouraged, pouting cutely. “Do… do you already have a girlfriend?” She asked sadly.

“N-NO I’m not dating… anyone it’s just… th-this is all so sudden.” Ryuji stuttered out.

Tsubaki took a step back, frowning a bit as she scuffed her shoe on the ground, “Alright… but don’t keep me waiting too long Sakamoto-kun.” She teased, giving him a bright smile before turning and running off.

Suddenly there were murmurs around him, and he felt extremely awkward.

Mishima slowly walked up to him, “Uh dude… that was Ooue-San.”

Ryuji was suddenly very happy.

“I KNOW!” Ryuji said, giddy as he high-fived Mishima. “Dude that is like… SO many points to my school cred.”

He’d never been a chick magnet, but a girl like Tsubaki liking him? That was a huge stroke to his ego.

“So man, are you gonna date her?” Mishima asked hopefully.

Ryuji was about to blurt out a “Hell fucking yes.”

But he paused.

For some reason, he really did have to think about it.

Dating meant he wasn’t single anymore.

Dating meant screwing around with someone else would be cheating…

He’d… have to call it off with Yusuke.

Ryuji glanced to the gate, Yusuke still waiting patiently for him.

He should…. Call it off with Yusuke…

I mean he could have the girl of his dreams if he wanted.

He just… had to stop being with Yusuke…

. . .

“I’ve gotta go.” Ryuji said quickly, running down the stairs. 

“DUDE!” Mishima called out, but Ryuji ignored him.

He ran down the steps, stumbling a bit before stopping in front of Yusuke. 

Aside from a curious cock of the head, Yusuke’s pensive expression didn’t change.

Ryuji’s heart clenched.

Why did he have such a poker face on?

Yusuke must know what’s about to happen right?

So why didn’t he look at least a little bit upset?

This would be hard for Yusuke too… Right?

He’d miss him right?

He’d want him to stay, right? 

Yusuke…

… Ryuji felt sick.

“C’mon.” the blonde grit out, grabbing Yusuke’s arm and dragging him away from the school gate.

Yusuke sputtered a bit as he was dragged hurriedly away from the students, down towards the small alley where they could be alone.

Ryuji then pulled Yusuke into a tight hug.

His heart was hammering.

For some reason there was a strange dread that filled him.

“R-Ryuji…” Yusuke shifted a bit, trying to get out of the vice-grip the blonde had on him.

“Shush.” Ryuji choked out, pressing his face into Yusuke’s chest as he held him tighter. “Just shut up…” 

Holy shit he was crying.

What the fuck, why was he bawling into Yusuke’s shirt like some fucking child.

Yusuke slowly returned the hug, stroking down his back and kissing the top of his head gently. “It’s okay.” He breathed out.

What was okay? What was fucking okay about any of this?

The girl of his fucking dreams walks up to him and basically throws herself at him, and he runs off and cries to his fling?

Yusuke was a friend with benefits… right?

The whole point is he was single and had no one to answer to, so it was okay to experiment.

That’s all this was… right?

So why didn’t he just say yes to her? What did he even have to think about?

“Fuck why is this so confusing…” Ryuji cried out angrily.

Yusuke just continued the gentle pets down Ryuji’s spine, swaying with him as he was held. He didn’t say anything, just allowed Ryuji to cry into his shirt.

Ryuji eventually calmed down, and he sniffled as he pulled away slightly, “M’sorry…” Ryuji said quietly, “That was probably pretty lame of me huh…”

Yusuke shook his head, kissing his forehead, “it’s alright.”

“How are you so calm…” Ryuji hiccupped, letting out a soft sigh as he gained his bearings, “You heard what she said right?”

Yusuke’s gaze grew distant. “I did hear her, yes.” He admitted.

Ryuji frowned, “Then… how the hell are you not reacting?”

Yusuke glanced to the side, “Because it isn’t my choice to make…” He said. “Either you tell her no, and we continue as we were… or you say yes and our arrangement ends. I have no control over what you choose-”

“Yes you do!” Ryuji yelled out in frustration, “You… Of course you do... “ Ryuji felt so lost. “Why… Why do you let me decide everything?” He gazed up at Yusuke, “Why do you let me just do what I want?”

He was tired of second guessing himself.

He was tired of guessing what was going on in Yusuke’s head.

The only thing Ryuji was sure of was that Yusuke liked being fucked by him. He didn’t know anything else and he was sick of it.

“I just wanna know…” Ryuji breathed out, “What am I to you… wh- what do you see in me and how the fuck… are you okay with just letting me do what I want…?” He gripped the front of Yusuke’s shirt, “Just… what do you want from me?” Ryuji begged the question.

Yusuke looked slightly hurt, before glancing to the side, “I want you to be happy, that’s all-”

 

“WHY.” Ryuji grit out, shaking him a bit, “Why do you want me to be happy so fucking bad without making any fucking selfish choices?!”

“Because, I do Ryuji.” He gave him a warning look.

“That’s not a good enough answer! I’m about to fucking LEAVE you and you’re just gonna take it?!” Ryuji slumped, “Was this… really just fooling around to you?”

Yusuke teared up, looking backed in a corner, “Of course it wasn’t… Of course you mean more to me than that-”

“WHY do you give so much then huh? Stop dodging the question and FUCKING TELL ME WHY YOU SACRIFICE SO MUCH FOR ME-”

Yusuke silenced him with a kiss.

Ryuji trembled a bit, before kissing him back, rough and hard as he pinned Yusuke against the wall. It was carnal, desperate, and something they both needed as it soothed the pent up frustration they were both feeling.

Yusuke pulled back a bit, stroking Ryuji’s cheek and giving him a sad smile, “Because I love you.” Yusuke admitted.

God that tone was so fragile… so scared…

“You… what?” Ryuji gaped at him.

“I love you, Ryuji.” Yusuke said quietly. “I don’t know… when my feelings went from what they were to this but… I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am madly… and hopelessly in love with you.” Yusuke hiccuped as he began to cry, finally breaking down from the whole situation, “And… my only wish…” He sobbed, “T-The only thing I want from you, if you cannot return my feelings…. Is that you be happy.” 

Seeing Yusuke there, broken and bare and fragile… 

Ryuji felt like his heart was breaking.

Yusuke let out a soft sigh, before pulling back easily as Ryuji stood there in shock, “I… should go.” He said quietly, taking a few steps back from the blonde. “Make your choice. Take your time if you need… I will respect whatever decision you make.” He straightened up, wiping his tears and giving a small bow. “Afternoon, Ryuji.” He said quietly, before turning and leaving.

Ryuji slumped hard against the wall.

Yusuke loved him.

Loved him…

Loved him so much he was willing to do whatever was needed to make him happy…

Even if it meant just being a fling… Meant just being a sexual outlet for him...

Even if it meant letting him go when he found someone else...

Now Ryuji’s heart really was breaking, and he suddenly felt like the filthiest piece of shit on the planet.

How had he taken someone with those feelings and just… treated it like a game…?

Did he even love Yusuke?

Ryuji didn’t know.

“Dammit…” He breathed out, choking on a breath as tears welled in his eyes. “God… fucking… DAMMIT!” He wailed, punching the wall hard as he sobbed.

He wailed there in that alley for so long he lost track of time.

Eventually, his tears dried up, and he shakilly got to his feet.

He felt a numb feeling settle inside him, and he went home.

He spent a night by his lonesome, his body feeling cold without Yusuke there to warm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was too sweet. I had to bust out the angst.
> 
> I seriously can't write fluff without someone getting hurt from EDGE. Hope you enjoyed... I will collect your tears to fuel more chapters >w>'


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time heals all wounds... but sometimes they just fester when not fixed.
> 
> SPOILERS IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS UP TO LIKE END OF NOVEMBER IN GAME. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

The next few days things had ramped up. Exams were heavy, The festival was in full swing and then Akechi joined their team.

Things had been fairly stressful for the group in general. They had to pretend to want the young detective there with them while they knew he was secretly plotting to murder Akira.

Yeah, things were busy. Ryuji was happy because it meant he didn’t have to think about things.

He had managed to avoid answering Tsubaki, who was waiting patiently for his answer to whether he was going to be with her or not. 

As for Yusuke… 

Yusuke still talked to him , in fact during their time with the others it was as if things hadn’t changed. The two were able to fall into a familiarity with eachother. Yusuke would tease him, Ryuji would bite back and everyone would laugh. Even fighting as team-mates everything was fine.

On days when their was nothing to do, Ryuji could still find Yusuke in their little spot, and would still go down with him and sit.

The closeness they had was gone, however. Yusuke made no move to make small talk, and when Ryuji did, Yusuke would answer curtly until it was time for him to go.

He made no move to initiate anything physical, so Ryuji let him have his space.

“That drawing looks sad…” Ryuji said quietly one day as he stared at the painting Yusuke was drawing.

It was a painting of a woman, She was blindfolded and reaching out blindly toward the sky. There were hooks in her skin keeping her grounded, and she had remnants of wings on her shoulder blade which were severed at the base leaving two dripping stumps.

Screw sad, that picture looked downright depressing.

Yusuke paused, letting out a soft sigh, “Apologies if it’s not to your liking… I just let my hand move on its own.

Ryuji shook his head, “It’s alright…” Ryuji murmured.

Where were those happy drawings that had been full of life? 

Ryuji missed them…

He missed a lot of things.

Yusuke’s warm smile, the way he laughed…

The way they kissed…

The way Yusuke touched him…

Ryuji sighed and got up, “I should go. Gonna go for a run and then head home.” He said.

Yusuke slowly nodded, not looking away from his painting as he continued it.

So Ryuji ran.

He thanked the stars that the next few days were busy.

Sadly there were only a few busy days. They finished Sae’s palace with a phenomenally large chunk of time to spare. Akechi asked that they hold off sending the calling card till the last possible day. 

That meant nothing but free time till then.

So here the two boys were… under the willow tree again and unable to talk.

“I should… head home. I have to work on a project.” Yusuke said quietly, getting up and putting away his things.

Ryuji’s heart sank.

“...Okay.” Ryuji said with a sigh, tired of this awkwardness between them. 

Yusuke pursed his lips, fidgeting a bit as he let out a shaky sigh, “Perhaps… starting tomorrow… I should just stay at the dorms to work... “ He said quietly,

Ryuji’s eyes widened, and he got up, “But… I like our time together…” Ryuji breathed out, “It’s… I don’t want that to go away.”

Yusuke ‘s body shook a bit, and he gripped his hands, as if trying to keep his composure. “It has been getting colder… and it can’t be… comfortable laying out here in the cold-”

Ryuji hugged Yusuke from behind. 

“M’not cold… because you’re here to keep me warm.” Ryuji tried, nuzzling the nape of Yusuke’s neck. 

Yusuke let out a shaky exhale, “Ryuji…”

Yusuke sounded tired. 

Ryuji knew he had been waiting for him to make his choice.

He was a fucking pussy for not choosing… and he could feel it.

Yusuke was getting tired of waiting for him to make up his mind.

“I’m sorry…” Ryuji breathed out, kissing his nape gently, “It’s… this was just all very sudden…” He grit his teeth, “And shit’s been happening and… I just don’t know what to do.” Ryuji admitted.

Yusuke swallowed, bringing his hands down and placing them gently over Ryuji’s in comfort, “I can’t tell you what you should do, Ryuji... You have to decide that for yourself.” He murmured. 

Ryuji didn’t want to pick.

Why couldn’t things be fucking simple.

“Can’t… I just... “

Ryuji was desperate.

“Can’t we just… forget about things for a bit?” He begged, sliding a hand under Yusuke’s shirt.

Yusuke shuddered, “Ryuji… please stop.” Yusuke warned.

“Please… just one time?” He asked, kissing up Yusuke’s neck, “I haven’t made my choice yet… so can’t we just…” He brought his hand down, palming the front of Yusuke’s pants.

“Ryuji!” Yusuke wrenched Ryuji’s hands off him, flushing as he attempted to swivel around.

His foot caught on his bag, and he stumbled, taking Ryuji with him.

Ryuji winced, checking over Yusuke tentatively before leaning close, “Just… please... let me stop thinking about it…” He urged, before placing a small kiss to Yusuke’s lips.

Ryuji felt a desperate need to be held well up in him.

He begged whatever twist of fate gave him this choice that Yusuke wouldn’t push him away.

Yusuke shook a bit under him, before wrapping his arms around Ryuji and keeping him close. 

Ryuji felt relief wash over him, deepening the kiss as he traced Yusuke’s bottom lip with his tongue. Yusuke parted his lips, allowing Ryuji to explore within his mouth as the blonde licked deep into the warm opening.

God they both missed this.

Ryuji groped gently at Yusuke’s sides, before bringing his hands down to Yusuke’s thighs, lifting them to wrap around his hips as he began to grind eagerly against Yusuke.

Yusuke just clung to Ryuji, returning the kisses with just as much fervor as he allowed himself to be swept up in all of this.

Ryuji moved to kiss over Yusuke’s face, and paused when he felt wetness on his lips.

He paused, glancing down at Yusuke.

He was crying.

Ryuji’s heart clenched, “Yusuke… please don’t cry…” He begged.

Yusuke grit his teeth and shoved the blonde off, “I can’t help it…” He sobbed, getting up and backing up with a hurt expression. “I… I love you yes… but I am human…” He choked out. “Putting off your choice so you can continue our illicit relationship guilt free isn’t fair to that girl who likes you…” He let out a shaky sigh, “And… it’s not fair to me.” He said softly.

Ryuji snapped out of his desperation, biting his bottom lip. 

Yusuke was right… just what the fuck was he doing?

Yusuke let out a shaky sigh. “I will be at my dorm after school from now on… Until you’ve made your choice you won’t see me here.” he breathed out, turning to walk away.

“Wait…” Ryuji pleaded.

Yusuke paused, letting out a small sigh, “Yes?” He asked.

“Keep coming here… please…” Ryuji begged, “I promise I won’t come back here until I’ve made my choice… okay?” Ryuji begged.

Yusuke stood where he was, before slumping his shoulders in defeat, “If that is what you wish…” He said quietly, before continuing on his way.

Ryuji watched him go, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed in a vice.

God he needed help...

It was still earlyish… the trains would be running for a few more hours. He should get some advice.

He needed his leader.

Ryuji caught a train, going to the back alley which Leblanc stood. Futaba and Sojiro were exiting the shop, looking ready to close shop.

“H-Hey Boss hold up!” the blonde hailed him before stopping in front of him, “Is Akira in? I need to talk to him.”

Futaba pouted, “Yeah, he’s upstairs. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.” She said with a sigh.

What? Talk some sense into him?

“What, is something wrong?” Ryuji blinked.

Sojiro chuckled, “Futaba doesn’t like his friend. I’m sure it’s fine for you to go up.” He said with a shrug.

Ryuji smiled, nodding as he walked in as they closed the shop up behind him.

It would be bad if he couldn't’ get Akira alone, but he’d manage.

“Okay…” Ryuji breathed out, closing his eyes and nodding, “Just… tell him about Yusuke… mmh… and… about Tsubaki and stuff…”

Thinking about it, Akira was a quiet guy, but he had LOADS of girls hanging off him constantly.

He didn’t know how, but that dude was a total chick magnet. There was no doubt he had a girlfriend he wasn’t telling them about. 

Hell even the girls on their team had become starstruck.

Not that he could blame them, the guy just had a charisma that drew you in no matter who you were.

Akira had been close friends with him. He even got him into running again and helped him make up with his old team… With all his knowledge on girls and shit there’s no way he wouldn’t get some good advice on his relationship problems.

Akira wouldn’t judge him.

He could trust him.

He spent a few more moments steeling himself, before letting out a small sigh and running up the stairs. 

“Hey, leader-” Ryuji paused, stopping and gaping at his friend at the top of the stairs.

No...fucking… way…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cliffhangerrr, I seriously couldn't find a good stopping point so I was like "HERE."
> 
> I wonder what Ryuji's little Leader was up to. Find out next chapter~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ryuji learns how love works.

Well the friend who was over was Akechi, so Ryuji understood why Futaba was upset.

But holy shit…

Akechi was currently stripped down, his shirt and school jacket on the ground and his pants open with his cock out. His legs were Wrapped around Akira, the raven haired boys clothes disheveled and his pants open as the two boys kissed and rubbed against eachother.

Akira paused, pulling away and blinking at Ryuji curiously.

Akechi panted, turning and staring at Ryuji with a coy smile.

Ryuji felt so awkward, glancing to the side as Akechi and his leader pulled away from each other.

“Apologies.” Akechi said with a shy smile, “We thought we would be alone.”

Ryuji frowned.

Wasn’t this guy gonna try and kill their leader? What was Joker thinking getting it on with this guy?

Then again… he guessed he didn’t have any sort’ve reason to be judging him.

“S-So…” Ryuji started awkwardly, “You two are…”

Akechi chuckled, doing his pants up properly before holding Akira close, “Mm… my days at the cafe turned to flirting, and now that we know each other on more personal terms with being team mates…” He kissed Akira’s cheek, “It’s turned into this.”

Akira shrugged, “it’s fun.”

Akechi cooed out playfully, “So cruel. I think i’m a little more than just fun-”

Ryuji cleared his throat, not wanting to be in the middle of all this. “Can I talk to my buddy?”

Akechi smiled, “you may.” He cooed out as he kissed down Akira’s neck.

Ryuji frowned, “ALONE. Please.”

Akechi pouted, before shrugging, “Alright. I’ll wait outside.” He said as he got up and got dressed. “Don’t keep him too long though… I did come here for a purpose after all~” He chuckled before walking down.

Ryuji crossed his arms and gave his leader a chastising look.

Akira just blinked owlishly at him, cocking his head to the side, “You needed me for something?” He asked.

Ryuji sighed.

He wouldn’t pry. He trusted his leader knew what he was doing with Akechi. 

“It’s about… um… Y-Yusuke and me are um….” Ryuji stuttered. “We uh.”

“Oh.” Akira leaned back. “Yeah the sex thing between you two. Futaba told me.” He said quietly.

“WHAT?!” Ryuji sputtered.

He shrugged, “She got curious and got into both your phones. You two used to sext a lot…” 

Ryuji’s head was spinning.

“Futaba and you knew?!” Ryuji sputtered.

“And Morgana.” Akira quipped, “And I think Ann… Morgana might have let it slip to her-”

“Oh my god…” Ryuji tugged at his hair.

“Did you come here because you’re fighting? You two stopped texting so Futaba’s worried.” Akira inquired.

Ryuji stuttered, “Oh uh… y-yeah… I actually found a girl and… so I’ve been debating calling it off with Yusuke…” He said.

Akira blinked, “Why? You don’t like Yusuke?”

“W-Well no I do… It’s just this girl was the girl I’d been wanting to get with for… a long time.” Ryuji scuffed his foot on the ground. “I mean, M’not gonna cheat on her with Yusuke if I go with her, I mean cheating’s bad, right?”

Akira grew quiet.

“...Right?” Ryuji gave Akira a warning look.

Akira shrugged, “Well… what do you like about this girl?”

“Uh, aside from the fact that she’s the girl of my dreams?” He argued.

“No… I mean WHY is she the girl of your dreams.” Akira asked.

Ryuji, l took a seat on the couch, “I mean… she’s cute, I guess? She’s got good grades and was exclusive to one of the most sought after jocks in school? She’s like… the ideal girl…”

Akira hummed, “mm… then what do you like about Yusuke?”

“I mean… Yusuke’s…” Ryuji gave a sheepish smile, “He’s weird yeah… but he’s kind… and nice and sweet and understanding and stuff... Like he always knows when to listen, and always knows what to say. It’s like he was built for conversing with me“ Ryuji laughed, “and I don’t even fucking like art that much but watching him paint is the most soothing shit… I’d miss that more than the sex, WHICH by the way is fucking amazing-”

Akira cleared his throat.

“S-Sorry.” Ryuji laughed sheepishly.

Akira looked thoughtful, “I mean… it sounds like you like Yusuke more than this girl. You sound like you don’t even know if you’d like her more in the long run…” He quipped.

Ryuji sighed, “Yeah but… I mean we were just fucking around… at least at first. I mean I wanted to date girls, get married to one of em and just go through life. That’s literally always been my goal… Maybe start a family… be a better dad than my shithead father.” 

“Why can’t you be with Yusuke with those things in mind? You don’t know if in the future he’d be alright with adopting and stuff… you’re young and should be enjoying things right?” Akira quipped.

“Yeah but he was literally just a bro I fucked with…” He said with a sigh, “I dunno if I even like him like that. How do I know if i’m not just happy to have a close friend I can also fuck?”

Akira leaned close to Ryuji, looking him up and down, “I mean, we could always test that.” He said quietly, tracing over Ryuji’s inner thigh.

Ryuji’s eyes bulged, and he gaped as Akira leaned in, “Wh-Wha-”

Suddenly there was a pair of very soft, very warm lips on him, and Ryuji’s brain shut off for a minute.

And then it caught up with him, and he shoved Akira off. 

“DUDE. I don’t like you like that!” Ryuji huffed. Upset.

Akira blinked, “So you don’t wanna be friends with benefits?”

“NO!” Ryuji screeched. “I don’t want- WHAT?! NO!”

Akira smirked, “So… that means you do like Yusuke.”

“It MEANS I don’t like YOU like that. Weren’t you just kissing Akechi?! ugh...” He huffed, holding his head in his hands, “God… Why does she have to be single…” Ryuji whined, “If someone would just date her then I wouldn’t have a choice…” 

Akira became thoughtful. “Mm… so… if you didn’t have a choice you’d be happy?”

“Yeah. If she was just… iunno if someone sweeped her off her feet or something… wait who are you texting” Ryuji asked as Akira began to text.

“Yusuke.” Akira said quietly.

“Why?” Ryuji asked.

“I’m gonna ask him out.” Akira replied.

“What- YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Ryuji grit his teeth.

“Why not? If he says yes, then you won’t have a choice right?”

“You’re fucking Akechi though!” 

“You and I both know that’s not gonna last long… I think he’s gonna break up with me pretty hardcore after this palace don’t you?”

“But- NO! He’s with me!” Ryuji glowered at him.

Akira gazed at him, “But you’re not dating though… or did you think that you fucking him makes him your property.”

“He’s NOT my property, but I don’t want your mitts on him!”

“Why do you care? If you don’t mind the girl finding another guy before you choose, why is it so bad if Yusuke ends up with someone else?” 

“Because I want him to be with me!”

Oh.

Akira smiled.

Ryuji let out a shaky laugh, “You’re a dick y’know that?”

Akira shrugged, “maybe… but I think you’ve got some things to figure out.”

He nodded and got up. “Thanks buddy.”

Akira returned the smile, and Ryuji made his way out.

He had to make this right.

So, the next day after school, Ryuji texted Tsubaki to meet, and the two met at the station.

“Sakamoto-kun~!” She beamed at him. “When you said you needed time to think, I didn’t think it would take so much time.” She said with a giggle. “Be glad I didn’t go home yet… So what did you wanna talk to me about?”

Ryuji smiled sadly at her, “Tsubaki… before I say anything I just want you to know… You’re beautiful… and wonderful and seem so sweet... “ Ryuji laughed nervously as he blushed, “You were my first crush at Shujin too…”

Tsubaki smiled brightly, “Then- that means you want to be together-”

“No…” He cut her off. “I… I have someone wonderful in my life now… someone who loves me… and… I think I love them too.” He admitted quietly. 

Her smile dropped and she looked at him with a hurt expression, “B-But… I like you… I really… REALLY like you-”

“I’m sorry…” He said quietly, glancing to the side, “But… I gotta go… you’ll find someone better than me Tsubaki. Someone who’ll love you for you.” He said with a sheepish smile.

She was struck silent, backing up a bit before turning and running away without another word.

Ryuji wondered if he’d handled that well.

He guessed turning someone down was never handled well but… he felt good he did it in person.

With that he turned and began to run towards the park.

He wondered if Yusuke was there.

His run turned into a sprint.

Please be there Yusuke… please…

He panted as he ran up the hill to that familiar spot.

Yusuke was sitting under that same willow tree. With that same pensive look, drawing with that same little sketchbook.

He loved him.

Ryuji bolted down the hill.

Ryuji loved him.

Yusuke paused, looking over and staring in shock as Ryuji sprinted at him.

Ryuji loved Yusuke so much.

Yusuke barely had time to toss his work to the side, before being tackled hard into the grass.

“Ow-Ryuji-” He started, wincing as he struggled to get up.

He was stopped by a kiss.

It was sloppy, and awkward and not coordinated at all. 

Yusuke gripped his shoulders, pushing him back with an embarrassed flush, “What’s gotten into you, Ryuji-”

“I love you too” Ryuji blurted out.

Yusuke paused, staring at Ryuji with wide eyes, “Wh… what-”

Ryuji kissed over his lips a few times, before showering his face with kisses as he toppled Yusuke over, “I love you… I love you so much Yusuke…” he breathed out, tearing up a bit, “M’sorry I took advantage of you… a-and i’m sorry I treated this whole fucking thing like a fling and…” he hiccuped, “I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better…” He gripped Yusuke’s wrists, pinning them down to the grass as he gazed down at him with blurry, tear filled eyes, “I love you so fucking much S-So please… stay with me?” He begged.

Yusuke gazed at him, his cheeks flushed as he searched his face. A warm smile and a little chuckle left his lips. “You really are an idiot, Ryuji…” He said quietly, leaning up and kissing his cheek, “As if I could go anywhere but by your side after that little confession…”

Ryuji felt his heart soar, and he leaned down and kissed Yusuke hard.

Yusuke returned the kiss eagerly, letting out a surprised noise as Ryuji slipped in-between his legs.

“Mn… Yusuke…” He breathed out between kisses as he ground his hips down on his, “Let’s do it right here…” He breathed out.

Yusuke flushed, wrapping his legs around Ryuji shyly as he gazed at him, “This place is fairly secluded, and it’s late but… we’re still in the open Ryuji… someone could see-”

“I don’t care.” Ryuji breathed out, diving in and nibbling over his bottom lip, “I wanna be in you now dammit…. I’ve missed you so much...” 

Yusuke’s arguments died at that, and Ryuji palmed at Yusuke’s pants before unzipping them

Yusuke kicked his pants off one leg, before pulling Ryuji back down as he kissed over his face, “I love you…” the artist whispered out against the kisses.

Ryuji smiled, “I love you too…” he replied as he lay his hips down over Yusuke’s, grinding against him a bit as he enjoyed their tangled state.

It was almost scary how much Ryuji meant those words.

He wondered to himself just how long he felt this way, and denied it to himself.

It didn’t matter anymore. 

What mattered now was Yusuke was here, and with him and willing and oh… god was he tight.

Ryuji made out with Yusuke gently, giving a lazy roll of his hips as he settled in and out of him hapilly.

There was no urgency, nothing quick or rough. Just gentle waves of pleasure that crashed over them both with each sway of their bodies.

Ryuji heard somewhere there was a difference between fucking and making love.

He wondered if this was it.

He hoped it was… it was like he was losing his virginity with him all over again.

Here under this little willow tree where they had spent such meaningful moments together.

“Mh… Yusuke i’m gonna-hnh… m’gonna come okay?” He panted out.

Yusuke smiled and clinged to him, “Inside… please?” He begged.

Ryuji kissed him shyly, “You sure?” 

Yusuke smiled and nodded, “mhmm… I need you… please.”

Ryuji pushed into him with a bit more urgency, reveling in their coupling for as long as he could hold out.

His climax washed over him, the hum of release twinged with a happiness that hadn’t been there before.

He felt complete like this.

He was so lost he barely registered Yusuke panting and spent under him. 

“Managed to get off too did you?” Ryuji joked as he kissed over Yusuke’s face.

Yusuke smiled warmly, nuzzling Ryuji’s temple with a soft sigh, “Yes… for some reason this…. This feeling….” Yusuke flushed, “It felt different… good different”

Ryuji chuckled and hugged him tight, “Same…. Same.” He panted out.

Yusuke winced, pouting, “though, the train ride home is going to be a bit of a chore I think…” He joked.

Ryuji gazed at him. 

He didn’t want Yusuke to go anywhere.

He needed him to stay right in his arms.

“How about you stay at my place then? It’s not far and I can get you all cleaned up. He offered.

Yusuke looked at him with bright eyes, and nodded, “I would love that very much, Ryuji.

Ryuji smiled, helping Yusuke clean up a bit before helping him up and grabbing his things, “Guess that means you get to meet my ma.” He said with a laugh, “Dunno if we should tell her right away though, I think i’ll have her get used to you a bit first.”

Yusuke chuckled, bumping shoulders with Ryuji, “However you want to do things is fine with me, Ryuji.” Yusuke paused, hesitating a bit before reaching out and hugging the blondes arm.

Ryuji flushed, before leaning in and kissing Yusuke’s temple, the two boys making it back out to the main path with their arms entwined.

Little did they realize someone was watching them, and that in the near future things were going to go very… very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh... I might have rushed this chapter a bit, but I wanted it to be longer than the other one @u@
> 
> I hope you still enjoyed it despite the urgency which I typed, I enjoy my one post a day thing so I didn't want to change that lol.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perfection comes in many a form. For Ryuji, it's sleepy mornings with Yusuke.

Waking up next to Yusuke in his bed felt so new and fresh.

Yusuke was curled up against him, naked as the day he was born as he lay with his head tucked under Ryuji’s chin. The blonde was sitting up a bit, his arm around Yusuke as he stroked down his back.

Yusuke was so wonderful….

God, how did Ryuji ever think these feelings were just a phase…

Yusuke stirred, opening his eyes slightly as he glanced up with a warm smile. “Morning you.” He breathed out as he cuddled Ryuji.

Ryuji smiled, kissing the top of Yusuke’s head. “Mm...mornin.” he murmured against Yusuke’s hair, “How’s sleeping beauty doing?” He teased.

Yusuke chuckled, straddling Ryuji’s hips and sitting up slightly, “Absolutely wonderful, with my prince charming at my side.” He purred out, “this princess is in the mood to give him a happy ending.” 

Ryuji’s eyes hooded, his hands reaching down to Yusuke’s hips as he massaged over them, “Yeah? What kinda happy ending mm?”

Yusuke rocked forward slightly, before teasing over Ryuji’s shaft, “Why don’t you play with me a bit and find out~” He teased.

Ryuji smiled, taking a bottle of lubricant and tossing it to Yusuke, who immediately went to work stretching and opening himself.

“I hope you’re ready for me.” Yusuke said with a chuckle, “You hardly let yourself rest at all last night.” he teased.

Ryuji sighed, leaning back and enjoying Yusuke’s inner walls as they slid slowly around his shaft till he was fully sheathed. He took his time with Yusuke, trailing his hands down Yusuke’s hips and just enjoying him.

Yusuke smiled, “Not in a rush today? Usually you’re a bit more… eager when we’re like this.”

Ryuji smiled, bringing his hand up and tracing Yusuke’s cheek, “I know… but I wanna take it slow this time.” He breathed out. “It’s… been a long time since i’ve seen you so happy… I just wanna take it in.”

Yusuke flushed, shifting his hips a bit as his eyes shimmered with warmth. “You really… missed this that much?” He asked shyly.

Ryuji tugged Yusuke down, “I missed YOU that much Yusuke…” He breathed out, before kissing over Yusuke’s face gently.

Yusuke returned the tiny kisses, before pulling back, “Relax then, Ryuji… and look all you want.” He said with a smile, “I’ll take care of you today.” He breathed out as he shifted his hips teasingly.

Ryuji flushed, his breath hitching as Yusuke began to rise and fall on his shaft, riding him slow and deep as he arched over him. 

God Yusuke was beautiful.

How had he gone so long thinking he could live without him like this?

“I love you... “ Ryuji breathed out, gripping Yusuke’s hips and massaging them. “I know I keep fucking saying it but god…” He panted a bit as he began to rock his hips up to meet Yusuke’s thrusts. “I never want to stop.

They lost themselves in their own languid rhythm, slow and wonderful like waves as they rose and fell into themselves, bringing each other to completion. 

Yusuke panted, his thrusts becoming a bit uneven as he matched him, “I love you too Ryuji…” He panted out, “So… so much… so don’t ever feel ashamed-ah- saying it-” Yusuke’s hips stuttered, and he arched his back, finishing fast and messy as he painted Ryuji in streaks.

Ryuji grabbed his hips and rut into Yusuke’s spasming body a few more times, burying himself deep and letting out a soft groan as he pumped the other boy full of his seed. 

The two stayed in that position for a little while, Yusuke panting as he came down from his high and Ryuji just enjoying the sight of him. 

Yusuke chuckled as he rocked playfully against Ryuji’s hips, “mm, we’re kinda dirty now… perhaps a shower is in order?” He purred out.

Ryuji sat up, wrapping his arms around Yusuke’s waist as he stayed softening within him. “Mm… shower sounds nice.” He said quietly, voice low and husky, “Mom’s gonna be at work for a few more hours so…” He kissed down Yusuke’s neck, “Want me to wash you down? Mm?” 

Yusuke let out a happy hum as he accepted the kisses, “I wouldn’t mind that at all-ah~” Yusuke giggled as he was lifted up by the thighs, clinging to Ryuji as he was carried out the door and down the hall.

Ryuji laughed as he took him to the shower room, shuddering as he finally pulled out of Yusuke before setting him down on the edge of the tub.

Yusuke gazed up at Ryuji, eyes wide and curious.

God he was so cute.

Ryuji smiled, grabbing the shower head and warming the water, before sitting on the floor with a loofa and some soap, lathering it. “Just sit tight babe.” He said with a smile, lifting Yusuke’s leg, “My turn to take care of you.”

Yusuke blinked, “Babe?”

Ryuji gave a sheepish laugh, flushing and glancing to the side awkwardly, “No good?”

Yusuke smiled warmly, shaking his head, “No… I like it… “ Yusuke traced a hand gently over his chest, “Take good care of me then, lover.” He cooed out.

Ryuji felt like if they didn’t just have sex he would be hard as a rock right now.

The blonde swallowed, before running the soapy sponge over Yusuke’s leg and up his thigh. 

Yusuke let out a happy sigh, his head lolling back and to the side before gazing playfully at Ryuji.

The blonde scooted forward, hooking Yusuke’s leg over his shoulder before running the cloth over his inner thighs and up his torso, lathering him easily.

Yusuke smiled, pressing his foot into Ryuji’s back and tugging him forward so they were flush together.

Ryuji blushed, gazing up at Yusuke, “You’re… really flexible Yusuke.” He breathed out shakily.

Yusuke hummed, kissing Ryuji’s forehead, “Care to see just how flexible I am?” He purred out.

Nope. Ryuji was getting hard.

Ryuji leaned up and began to eagerly kiss over Yusuke’s lips “You’re gonna love me down to nothing babe.” he murmured out between kisses. “Like if you could die from too much sex I think that’s gonna be how i’m gonna go.”

Yusuke giggled into the kiss, hiking his other leg up to rest on Ryuji’s hip, “So long as you lay your body to rest in me I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” He brought his hand down, stroking over Ryuji’s half hard member, “I’m sure I’ll be an adequate sheath for your weary body to slip into for rest, lover.”

“Holy fuck give me a minute before you start talking like that.” Ryuji breathed out, bucking eagerly against Yusuke’s hand.

It took no time at all and he was hard as a rock.

“Mm… but then you won’t be eager…” Yusuke purred out. “You wanted things nice and slow, lover… but there’s nothing wrong with a little hard and fast if you can’t hold back.” He said quietly, letting go of Ryuji’s shaft and leaning back as he gripped the tub, “My body is ready for you after our little warm up earlier~

Ryuji glanced down, thumbing gently at Yusuke’s hole and shuddering as the warm lubricant and other secretions coated his fingers.

“You’re gonna regret getting me all riled up Yusuke.” he breathed out, before gripping Yusuke’s hips hard and plunging into him. He slid into that tight heat nice and easy, groaning from the slick hot wetness that surrounded his shaft.

Yusuke arched his back, letting out a surprised gasp as he was filled. He had no time to adjust, before Ryuji was moving, piercing into him hard and fast. “M-mmm, Ryuji~!” He panted out, gripping the tub as the loud sound of skin hitting skin quickly filled the room.

Ryuji ran his hands up and down the leg slung over his shoulder, bringing the other down to grip at Yusuke’s hip as he kissed down his neck, “Mm? What babe?” He felt giddy as the pangs of pleasure hit him with each snap of his hips, “This is what you wanted right? Mn- for me to be a little rough?”

“M-mn-y-yes-” Yusuke panted out, tossing his head back and keening as he was roughly swayed. “My body sings when you-ah! C-claim it like this…” He breathed out.

Ryuji smirked, sucking hard on the crook of Yusuke’s neck as he lost himself to the feeling around his cock, rutting into Yusuke like an animal.

Rough and fast and raw…

There wasn’t a high in the world like the one Yusuke gave him when they were like this.

His climax hit him fast.

Ryuji groaned as he slammed in to the hilt, his orgasm so strong he felt his balls rise as he pumped Yusuke full of him, biting down hard on Yusuke’s neck as he held him against his body.

Yusuke let out a surprised moan as he was held, kissing gently over the top of Ryuji’s head as he brought his hand down to touch himself.

Ryuji slapped his hand away, before gazing playfully at Yusuke, “No no, no touching.” He breathed out confidently as he pulled out.

Yusuke panted, before giving him a pout, “B-but I didn’t finish-” he yelped as he was suddenly flipped over, gripping the rim of the tub with a flush “Ryuji-”

“Stay like that…” Ryuji breathed out, lifting Yusuke’s hips and spreading his legs. The blonde sucked in a breath as Yusuke’s hole dripped thickly with cum, watching a trail of it run down his thigh and drip out. “I’ve pumped you full of a lot of stuff…” He said, tracing Yusuke’s rear before spanking it, “I think I should clean you up a bit.”

“Wh-what-N-!” Yusuke flushed red as he felt fingers probe deep in him, letting out an embarrassed noise as he felt the viscous feeling of fluid seeping out around the digits to drip heavy on the floor, “Th-that’s embarrassing! Ah-”

“Shhhh….” Ryuji kissed Yusuke’s neck soothingly “Just let it happen babe…” He whispered huskily out, “god you look so good like this…. I wish I could get it up again just to keep going and going forever.” He murmured against Yusuke’s ear, pumping his fingers in out of Yusuke as he rubbed teasingly over his sweet spot. “Would you take me babe? Mm?” He murmured out, nipping the shell of Yusuke’s ear., 

Yusuke moaned out, arching his back prettily as he ground down against Ryuji’s fingers, “Y-Yes. Always-ahn….” He panted, “Ryuji i’m close…. I’m so close…” He gazed over at Ryuji shyly out of the corner of his eyes, “can I finish…?”

Ryuji smiled and rested his chin on Yusuke’s shoulder, wrapping his free arm around Yusuke’s waist as he began pumping him, “c’mon and finish for me then… Yusuke…” He breathed his name out slow and even against his ear.

Yusuke let out a stuttered cry as he painted the tub and the wall with his seed, trembling as the thick ribbons stuck in heavy heaps as he came hard.

Ryuji held Yusuke up as the artist slumped forward bonelessly. Settling him down on the washroom floor as he kissed over him, “Did I do good with caring’ for ya?” He joked.

Yusuke smiled warmly at Ryuji, nodding before pulling the boy close, kissing over his face. “Though… it’s my turn to wash you.” He said with a chuckle as he took the shower head from him.

The two boys spent their shower happily.

When they got out they were already making out again in the hallway, Ryuji pinning Yusuke roughly against the wall as he kissed him down.

“Mn- I don’t have a spare pair of clothes…” Yusuke breathed out between kisses. 

Ryuji smiled, “Guess that means you’re gonna be naked while I get those in the wash then.” He chuckled out before deepening the kiss, turning it more intimate.

They were so into it neither of them heard the door slide open. 

“R-Ryuji…?” A soft voice called out.

Ryuji flushed bright pink, both boys turning in shock to the person at the door. 

“M-MOM?!” Ryuji shrieked out, glancing to the sid as Yusuke immediately shied behind the blonde. “I-I thought you were gonna be gone for another few hours…”

Ryuji’s mother laughed nervously, glancing to the side, “I-I um… got let out early…” She said shyly, holding up a bag, “I… b-brought you breakfast…” She glanced back up shyly, “There’s enough for your friend too I think….”

Ryuji sputtered, before shakilly taking Yusuke and moving him to his room and shoving him in, “U-Um th-thanks mom uh… I’m gonna get us dressed….”

“Get a robe while your friend is getting dressed Ryuji. We need to talk.” She said quietly.

Ryuji shifted uncomfortably, and Yusuke gave him a worried look before leaving the blonde. 

So Ryuji threw a bathrobe on and sat with his mother in the kitchen.

“So... “ She said with a soft smile, “How long have you and… “

“Yusuke.” Ryuji said.

“Yusuke, been together?” She asked.

Ryuji wanted to say TECHNICALLY yesterday.

But he felt like if he told her that she’d be a bit put off that only after a day of actually dating they were banging all over the house. 

“Uh… late August, I think?” Ryuji said. That was around when they had started being friends with benefits anyway.

“Mm… so a few months then.” She said quietly, becoming thoughtful. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Ryuji fidgeted, before letting out a shaky sigh, “B-because well… he’s a guy and….” He let out a shaky sigh, “I really… I know that kinda thing is…” His shoulders slumped, “I didn’t want you to be upset with me.” 

“Ryuji…” She said quietly, 

“Look it’s okay if you dont’ like it… i’m not gonna make you like him alright? But… but I do like him, and i’m not gonna leave him for anything mom so-”

“Ryuji!” She said with a sigh, “No baby…. No I don’t want you to think like that…” She said as she placed her hand over his.

He looked up at her with wide eyes, “You don’t… mind?” He asked.

She chuckled, “No… You’re my sweet baby boy.” She said as she squeezed his hand, “You’re all I have… I would never try to stifle you." She ran her thumb over his hand with a smile, “If you like him… then I will welcome him into my household with open arms.” She said warmly.

Ryuji smiled hapilly, nodding, “Thank you… mom…”

She chuckled, before glancing to the walkway, “I hope you heard that, Yusuke-Kun. You can come out now.” She called out.

Yusuke poked his head into the doorway shyly, “I-I’m sorry for intruding.” He said quietly, before bowing low, “your son has been nothing but kind to me.”

She giggled, “oh, you got a polite one.” She said as she got up, bowing, “I’m Ryuji’s mother as you’ve no doubt surmised.” She said with a smile, “Thank you for taking care of my son. With the lovestruck look he’s been sporting around the house I think he’s quite happy.” 

He flushed and gazed at Ryuji, “Well… I am quite happy with him too.” he said with a warm smile.

Ryuji’s mother smiled, before getting up and stretching, “Well I think i’ll head out for a bit, get some grocery shopping done.” She quipped, “You boys take care of the house for me alright?” She said with a smile.

Ryuji nodded, “Sure thing mom.”

She waved the boys off, before making her way out of the house.

Ryuji sat back in his chair. 

Looking at things how they are now… he couldn’t help but wonder why he thought that dating Yusuke would be a bad thing.

Why he thought people would shun him.

Why he wouldn’t have been happy with him. 

Literally everything had been perfect for him after accepting Yusuke… nothing was going wrong.

Yusuke smiled, offering him one of the anzu buns in the bag. He paused before looking at Ryuji, “is everything alright, Ryuji?” He asked curiously.

Ryuji was broken out of his thoughts, and he smiled, “Yeah… everything's perfect.” He said finally, leaning in and giving Yusuke a soft kiss.

Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally could've ended this fic here. Almost did actually... but it didn't have enough conflict for my liking so buckle up guys. Next few chapters are gonna be a trip >w>'


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Yusuke's mind as he muses over his love for Ryuji.

Yusuke remembered when he began to take a shine to Ryuji. 

The boy was rash, pushy, and a bit of an idiot, and his first impression of Ryuji was he needed to take a step back and stop acting like a harrassing idiot when all he wanted was to draw his friend.

After he found out the truth about Madarame… he saw his actions as different.

“I can’t forget that shitty adult… being so horrible to you… nobody should have to go through that.” He kept mouthing off, an almost angry sense of retribution surrounding him.

Yusuke found it odd, how the blonde felt the need to defend his honor even though they had barely met.

After he learned of Madarame’s misdeeds, Ryuji’s notions began to feel endearing. 

Once they were done with his palace and he was officially done with the palace, he felt drawn to that passion.

He wanted to talk to Ryuji more, but found they really didn’t have much in common. He didn’t really know what to do or say to Ryuji in order to converse with him.

So instead, he teased.

It didn’t take much, just a small poke to Ryuji and the two were having a back and forth.

It was fun, and despite his reactions Ryuji seemed to enjoy their play as well.

Eventually, Yusuke began to feel a strange funny feeling in the pit of his stomach when he was around the boy.

A little more time and Ryuji was all he thought about.

Soon, he realized he had a crush.

It was fine, Yusuke thought. There was a good chance that Ryuji was straight, and nothing would come of it, but he could dare to dream.

He could have his little crush and it wouldn’t hurt anyone.

And then the train happened, and suddenly there was a chance. 

Did Ryuji like him? Was it just an accident? Yusuke didn’t know.

Ryuji seemed to think it was just a mishap, but Yusuke didn’t want to let this chance slip through his fingers because he was unsure.

So he offered his dorm to Ryuji, and then offered himself up in a last ditch effort to see if something would come of their chance encounter.

When Ryuji had first come into the bathroom, he had been disappointed. HIs clothes showed he was rejecting his offer.

It hurt more than he thought it would.

Then suddenly they were kissing and Yusuke let himself fall into it.

He couldn’t believe that Ryuji returned his feelings, and had taken him as a lover. He happily enjoyed their first night together. 

Their first morning was lovely as well.

And then the problems had started.

Ryuji had avoided him, and they had fought, and Ryuji had made it clear he saw them as just friends.

That saddened Yusuke, but he supposed he could deal with these feelings if Ryuji was okay with having him.

That was already more than he could’ve ever asked for, so he settled with an agreement to be physical with one another.

Over the days following they became more and more intimate… he figured if he was going to have sex, he wanted his first time to be with Ryuji.

Ryuji was one of his first real friends, was his first crush, had taken his first kiss… had taken many of his firsts…

Him being his first for this just felt right.

So he lost his virginity to Ryuji, coaxing the boy as best he was able, and the two didn’t look back.

Ryuji was addicting. He wanted to be with him every second of every day.

He wanted the blonde's hands and lips on him. He wanted to drown in their time together.

For a time that’s all they did.

The short time he had to himself he would spend sketching Ryuji. His mask, Captain Kidd… the man was his muse, and Yusuke was happiest portraying him on paper when he was alone. 

“Yusuke!” Ryuji had called at him one day from the top of the little hill, as Yusuke sat under the willow tree sketching him. 

Yusuke had flipped the page to a fresh one and smiled at him, and that day sparked another change in their relationship.

Ryuji would rest with him on lazy days, and Yusuke felt that familiar flutter intensify within him. Over the days he found himself waiting with baited breath for Ryuji to run down the hill and be with him.

His crush stopped being a crush.

Ryuji had become his obsession.

It physically hurt when he had to leave Ryuji.

They texted every day in class, and even at night when they were at their respective homes, but he wanted more than anything to be with him.

When Ryuji held him, he felt just as complete as when they had sex.

When Ryuji started getting invested in him, asking him about his days and his creative practice, he felt a swell of happiness that those things meant so much to the blonde.

Somewhere along the line, Yusuke realized this wasn’t a crush, or even obsession anymore.

No… Yusuke had fallen in love.

This new information hurt a bit. He felt he should tell Ryuji, in hopes of escalating their relationship.

After a bit of thinking he decided against it. He had seen the way Ryuji conversed with Mishima. He saw how he would whistle when he saw attractive women at the beach, or talk to Akira about the women their leader was with. 

There was a good chance that despite how close they had become, Ryuji didn’t return his feelings.

This broke his heart.

At first he cried about it… but then he resigned himself to fate.

He would continue their relationship as is, and if Ryuji found himself falling for him he would stay with him.

If the day came that Ryuji grew tired of him…

He would accept that too.

Then Ryuji got asked out.

He tried to keep his composure, but inside his world was ending.

This was it.

Their little game was over.

At least… that’s what he thought, until Ryuji confronted him. He was so distraught and upset it wrenched Yusuke’s heart. 

Why was Ryuji so upset when Yusuke was the one getting his heart broken.

It became too much for Yusuke, so he left.

The next day, he quickly found out that Ryuji hadn’t taken Tsubaki as a partner.

That made Yusuke feel a bit better, but still… Ryuji had to choose.

The blonde didn’t.

Yusuke waited, hoping that Ryuji saw some worth in him that would help him stay.

As he waited, that hope grew dimmer and dimmer.

Eventually, he was convinced Ryuji saw nothing in him more than a good lay.

Yusuke tried to distance himself then, and Ryuji clung to him tighter than ever.

Yusuke was confused as to why Ryuji acted like he’d die if the artist left him. He was tired of wondering if Ryuji would be there for him in the coming days. He just wanted this all to stop.

But Ryuji begged him to wait… so he did.

He loved him too much to tell him no when he begged so desperately.

When Ryuji came to him and said “I love you too.” Yusuke was glad he waited.

Yusuke was happy he had persevered, because his life from then on hadn’t ever felt more perfect.

Kitagawa Yusuke loved Sakamoto Ryuji, and had sacrificed for him.

Kitagawa Yusuke loved Sakamoto Ryuji, and had his resolve and feelings tested through suffering and anguish and pain.

If there was good in this world… it came to him in the form of the blonde he called his.

Yusuke’s phone suddenly rang, breaking him out of his thoughts as he set his brush down and picked it up.

Sakamoto Ryuji it read.

Yusuke smiled, standing and stretching as he walked out to the balcony of his dorm-room before answering.

“It took you long enough to call.” Yusuke quipped “I was getting worried-”

“U-Um…. H-Hello?” A very timid, sniffling sad voice asked. A voice that very much was NOT Ryuji.

“...Who is this?” Yusuke asked, his tone growing cautious.

“M-Mh… My name’s Tsubaki- um….” she hiccuped. “Y-You’re dating Sakamoto-kun… right?” she asked through shaky breaths.

Yusuke felt his blood run cold.

Ryuji said he was going home early to help his mother.

Why did Tsubaki have his phone?

“Yes…” He said quietly, “Why are you calling from his mobile?” 

She sobbed louder, before an audible swallow resounded over the line as she tried to calm herself down, “I… need to talk to you… about Ryuji…” She said quietly.

Kitagawa Yusuke loved Sakamoto Ryuji…

...but no amount of sacrifice, pain, suffering and anguish he had felt during his time loving him could compare to what he was about to feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp... time for shit to hit the fan >w>'
> 
> I wanted a chapter going over Yusuke's thoughts on their whole exchange since everything's more or less from Ryuji's POV. I hope it was fun for you to read even if it was just a sum up ;u;


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things happen in your life that feel completely out of control. For Ryuji, today was one of those days.

Ryuji had no idea what was going on.

He felt like he was thinking through pudding, trying to will himself to consciousness before drifting back to sleep.

In his moments of lucidity, he could make out various things… conversation, someone carrying him… yelling.

At one point he swore he was conscious, being cradled as his eyes opened a sliver.

Akira was holding him up, pressing something to his lips.

Water?

It was something, so he made the effort to drink it.

Suddenly there was loud, and he tried to glance over.

Haru? Makoto?

He thought he saw the rest of them in the… car? Were they in a limo?

If it was a car it was big...

He saw the rest of the gang too, sitting around him.

Yusuke…

Yusuke was there too…

Why did Yusuke look so sad…?

Ryuji drifted out again.

When he pushed through the haze of his mind next he was being put somewhere soft, Akira above him. He opened his mouth and tried to ask what was going on, but Akira just gave him a tired smile.

Tired… and a little sad… why did everyone look so sad…?

He tried to remember.

_“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Yusuke asked._

_“Yeah my ma needs me.”_

Tsubaki called…

_“Sakamoto-kun I just want to talk. I’m at my job at a bar in Shinjuku if you want to visit, I get off in a few hours.” Tsubaki said._

He was at a bar…?

_“I’m not mad.” Ryuji said. “I mean if you’re sure you want to be friends I’m down, it’s the least I can do.”_

_“Ah, thank goodness!” Tsubaki giggled, “How about a drink on the house?”_

What…. He drank…?

_“Hah, Tsubaki i’m um… not exactly legal y’know.”_

_“It’s okay, I’ll get you whatever you’d like to drink, alchoholic or no.” She said with a laugh._

_Okay… just one drink… he had ordered…._

What did he order?

It was just one drink…. He drank what she gave him and then…

...and then….

“I think you should hear him out, Yusuke” a voice broke through his thoughts.

Akira again?

Another voice… softer….

Yusuke….

Yusuke… he missed him…

“Yusuke….” He called out.

Nothing… he drifted to sleep again.

When Ryuji was able to open his eyes again he was finally able to open them all the way, glancing around deliriously as he took in the sights around him.

He was in Akira’s room in Leblanc, the sun beaming in.

He felt fucking awful.

Ryuji groaned. The fuck was all that?

He tried to think back through the night, but the more he thought the less he remembered.

Like waking from a dream, eventually the only thing he remembered from the night was waking up here, and nothing before.

“Morning.” Yusuke said quietly.

Ryuji winced, a smile on his face when he immediately placed the voice.

Yusuke… he was here.

Ryuji yawned as he sat up, “Hey Yusuke.” He rasped out, clearing his throat, “Jesus morning voice.” he laughed as he got up, “God my head is killin’ me…” He said with a sigh, before walking over and hugging Yusuke, “Seeing you here though… makes it feel a little better.”

Yusuke didn’t return the hug.

“Ryuji…” He said carefully, his tone calculated, “Where did you go last night?” He asked.

Ryuji paused.

He left to go home and help his mom… then Tsubaki had called him.

He had gone to apologize to Tsubaki… and then…

He couldn’t remember.

He figured he must’ve just been really tired and ended up at Akira’s. He’s sure his buddy would cover for him.

What should he tell Yusuke though...

He didn’t wanna worry Yusuke over something dumb. They’d just made up so he didn’t want to throw a wrench into things.

“I told you, I was goin to my mom’s, andddd… well after doing my thing I came over and crashed here I guess.” Ryuji said with a laugh, “Don’t remember much, so I guess I was tired.”

Yusuke remained quiet.

Ryuji raised a brow, pulling away from the hug, “Yusuke what’s up-”

A hard slap resounded in the room.

Ryuji blinked owlishly, the hard sting on his cheek barely registering as he took Yusuke in.

The man was giving him an ugly look, like Ryuji was absolutely disgusting.

“I…” Yusuke paused, taking a shaky breath, “I thought… I was nothing but accommodating since the start.” Yusuke bit out. “I was okay… with us only being friends with benefits… And I was even okay with you letting me go if you weren’t happy with me and wanted to be with someone else…” Yusuke grit his teeth, looking like he was trying his hardest not to beat Ryuji where he stood, “But I am NOT one to be toyed with… lied to… and used for selfish ends.”

Ryuji gaped at him, “Yusuke what the fuck are you talking about, I didn’t do anything-”

“Tsubaki called me from your phone last night.” he said quietly. “Why don’t you check it. She sent me a few pictures too”

Ryuji gaped, pawing for his phone and finding it in his back pocket as he opened it up.

Sure enough, after the cute lovey dovey texts they had been sending, were a few pictures.

His heart clenched.

He was sitting in one of the back rooms at the bar Tsubaki worked at, looking drunk and delirious as all hell. They looked like they were having a fun time, even sharing kisses in the pictures. Scrolling they depicted a party filled night of them together.

Until the last picture.

They were in some sort’ve hotel it looked like, Ryuji naked as the day he was born passed out with lipstick kisses all over his neck and mouth. Tsubaki was in the picture, snapping it selfie-style with her naked body covered by a sheet, tears in her eyes as she looked absolutely guilt stricken.

What the fuck…?

That happened?

“Yusuke I honestly have no idea what… this is…” He said, looking up timidly, dread apparent on his face.

Yusuke gave him a condescending glare, before leaning back, “Tsubaki called saying she talked you into coming out with her to apologize for over-reacting when you turned her down. You were going to leave, but you changed your mind and stayed with her.” He crossed his arms, “She used her fake ID to get you both drinks… you got drunk and started flirting…” Yusuke gained a distant look, “and somewhere along the way confessed you loved her, and asked if she wanted to get a hotel with you… She obliged.”

What?

How the fuck did he not remember that?

“After the two of you… copulated.” Yusuke chose his words carefully, “She decided she wanted to call a friend to pick her up, but misplaced her phone… so she borrowed yours and saw our texts back and forth… Feeling betrayed, she called me and confronted me.” he teared up. “When I didn’t believe her… she sent me those pictures…”

This wasn’t happening.

He wouldn’t… he would NEVER cheat.

Hell hitting the bottle? He swore he wouldn’t drink in the first place.

Drinking… cheating?

He’d never do that to Yusuke after the shit his mother went through with his dad…

“Yusuke this has to be a mistake… like… I don’t even remember doing any of this-”

“Oh i’m sure you didn’t. You drank so much She was worried. She asked if someone could pick you up… So Akira picked our whole team up with Haru and the others and we brought you back here…” Yusuke grit his teeth, “You were so out of it you were babbling the whole time and cuddling with anything that moved. I’m glad Haru had a car with a partition away from the driver or we probably would’ve crashed.”

“Yusuke… you KNOW me…. I wouldn’t… I couldn’t-”

“Stop.” Yusuke let out a shaky sigh, “Just… stop.” he said as he took a few even breaths. “I want… I want to believe… this is some sort’ve nightmare…” Yusuke gripped at the railing of the stairway, “But… I let myself be blinded before by Madarame… I let myself be used by him while turning a blind eye to the truth…” Yusuke teared up as he glared at Ryuji, “I promised I would NEVER… let myself be tricked like that again… that I would never-” He sobbed. “Let someone lie to me like that again…” He cried, “I wanted you to be different…. I- I wanted you to be BETTER than him… better than this-”

“I am better than that Yusuke.” Ryuji begged, “Please… just- let me SHOW you… I promise it won’t happen again so please…”

Yusuke swallowed, taking a shaky breath as he stood straight, “No... I know it won’t…” Yusuke said quietly, wiping his eyes, “Because our relationship is over.” he said quietly.

No…

No this couldn’t be happening….

“I will be civil with you during our excursions to the palace and mementos… but otherwise I ask that you do not speak with me outside of business.”

This was a fucking nightmare please… someone wake him up…

Yusuke let out a shaky sigh, “Goodbye Ryuji.” he said quietly, before walking downstairs.

Ryuji heard murmurs from downstairs, and a bit of yelling, but he drowned it out.

He couldn’t breathe… he was so surprised he could even think.

He couldn’t even cry… he just felt broken.

His morning had been a whirlwind of confusion… and all he understood was that Yusuke was gone.

Yusuke was gone... and despite feeling like everything was out of his control it was all his fault…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ryuji has no idea what the hell is happening lol. 
> 
> Rip relationship, you lasted a few days before exploding. Time to see what happens next >w>'


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji laments, but with a little help, finds out the truth.

Ryuji didn’t know how long he sat on Akira’s bed. Could’ve been minutes. Could’ve been an hour.’

His head was a hum of confusion, the blonde wracking his brain and trying to figure out what happened to him. 

Nothing… he could barely even remember waking up at this point.

What the fuck had happened?

He thought on it over and over, until a quiet “Hey” broke him out of his thoughts.

Akira and Akechi were standing in the attic room, both looking at him with worried glances.

Ryuji swallowed heavily, before slumping his shoulders, “Where’s everyone else…” 

“Futaba and Ann followed Yusuke… and Haru and Makoto decided to take a walk to process the news since they didn’t know about your relationship with Yusuke… Morgana is um… with Sojiro since I wanted to talk to you alone.”

“If you wanted to talk to me alone, why is he here?” Ryuji asked as he shot Akechi a look.

Akechi raised his hands up defensively, “I’m here because we gotta go to the palace tomorrow and I want to spend the remainder of my time with Akira after… whatever this is.” He quipped.

Ryuji sighed, “This is the end of my fucking life…”

Akira sat with Ryuji, frowning at him, “Why’d you… with Tsubaki, I mean… you were so happy with him…”

“I dunno dude, alright?!” Ryuji screamed out, putting his head in his hand. “God I don’t even know why I started drinking…” Ryuji said as he curled up, “Like… I promised I wouldn’t ever touch the stuff after dad... then I go do something like this?”

Akira placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Like… hearing things explained to me? It sounded like it happened to someone else… I really can’t fathom why my stupid ass decided to be a fucking ASSHOLE.”

“Well you were pretty drunk… like… really drunk. We worried we were gonna have to take you to a hospital…” Akira quipped.

“I have NEVER drank.” Ryuji grit his teeth… “Why… Why would I fucking do that…” 

Akechi stared at him, “Do you remember anything from the evening? Anything at all?”

“No!” Ryuji screamed out, “The partying, the drinking, the sex… I don’t even fucking remember the ride home… everything is a damn blank” He teared up, “God how fucked up did I get last night…”

Akechi gained a thoughtful expression. “This was last night, correct? She’s also the one who gave you the drink?”

“Yes.” Ryuji said with a sigh. “”I mean I think so… when I think about it really hard I think she may have offered me a drink before I left… or… was going to leave anyway…”

“Mm… and you swear there’s no way you would’ve offhandedly asked for something alchoholic?” Akechi asked quietly

“I mean I obviously did.” Ryuji grumbled.

“I meant under normal circumstances, Ryuji.” Akechi corrected.

“No.” Ryuji said with a shaky sigh, “No… Seeing what it did to my dad… I don’t blame the alcohol for him being a shitty human being, and I definitely don’t think people who drink it are bad people but… I figured same genes… I shouldn’t take the risk y’know?” 

Akechi grew quiet, glancing to the side as if debating something before looking toward Akira “it’s still morning… Akira… you know a doctor who runs a clinic down the street yes?

Akira nodded, staring at Akechi curiously.

“Then we should make haste.” Akechi said as he walked to the stairs. “The drug test will be more accurate the sooner we go.

“D-Drug test?” Ryuji’s eyes widened.

Akechi smiled as he turned to look at him, “Why yes. From your testimony it sounds as if you were drugged, Sakamoto-kun.”

Drugged? Him?

As in Tsubaki drugged him?

There was no way… 

Still, Akechi insisted he get tested immediately, so Ryuji went to Takemi’s clinic, and got a test done.

His brain almost shut down at the results.

“Jesus kid how are you still alive.” She murmured out. “Whoever drugged you really did a number on you… for these results in the time frame you’ve given me she gave you a heavy dose of Rohypnol… The amount still in your system shows that dose could’ve killed you…” she blurted out. 

Killed me…?

“The fuck?!” 

Ryuji was livid. 

Akechi smiled “This looks like grounds for an arrest… should I go pick her up?” He quipped.

Ryuji shook his head. “No… no I…” he let out an exasperated sigh. “That BITCH.” he texted her name in the mementos app.

He got a hit.

“Should… we go take care of that? I can call Yusuke right now and tell him what’s happening.” Akira said quietly.

Ryuji grit his teeth.

He wanted to.

He wanted Yusuke to know everything. He wanted to go into mementos and change this girls twisted heart and let that be that.

But…

“You're sending the calling card tonight yeah?” Ryuji breathed out, “We… should wait… Buddy, please don’t tell Yusuke just yet about all this, or it might fuck with our mission and stuff.” 

Akira cocked his head to the side, before shrugging, “If that’s how you wish to do things.”

Ryuji nodded, before turning to look at Akechi, “I know after this heist we’re to disband but… can… I have permission to do this one thing after?”

Akechi’s smile grew distant, and he closed his eyes with a small sigh. “Sure Ryuji… do what you must…”

Ryuji’s heart clenched a bit.

Akechi was scum but… he didn’t have to do all this for him.

Getting him a drug test… offering to arrest this girl… even giving his blessing to go after her when the palace was finished.

Even if it was all a lie… even if it was a ruse…

“Hey… Akechi?” He said quietly.

“Mm?” Akechi gazed at him as they all walked out of the clinic. 

“You’re…mm… thanks, alright? Even if you joining us is all business and you’re only helping us out for yourself… in my book you’re not half bad.”

Akechi’s eyes widened, and Ryuji saw something in them for a moment. A shimmer of something innocent and pure.

Like a happy acceptance.

It was gone the next second, and Akechi gave him a warm smile, “It was nothing, Ryuji.” The detective hugged Akira’s arm, “Now… if you don’t mind…” Akechi purred out, leaning in and kissing Akira’s neck, “Since this is my last night as a phantom thief… I wholeheartedly wish to spend it with you…” He nuzzled the crook of Akira’s neck, “Make it worth my while.”

Akira flushed warmly, wrapping his arm around Akechi’s waist before looking at Ryuji, “I’ll have the medical report emailed to you. Do with it what you will.” He said quietly.

Ryuji nodded, watching the two wander off.

Yes… they’d finish this palace, and then come what may… when they were done with the mess that was going to happen tomorrow Ryuji would fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there were so many theories I had to just throw the explanation out there, I didn't want you all waiting too long lol.
> 
> Not much progress plot-wise, but I wanted to have a little redemption scene with Akechi even if it doesn't excuse what he's done. In a lot of fics I think people fail to remember that he genuinely liked the ragtag team of phantom thieves and wanted to be friends with them :>
> 
> tiem for things to continue~


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji goes to make things right... and decides to do what he thinks will make Yusuke the happiest.

The palace was finished.

Things had gone just as planned, everything going wrong and Akira being arrested. Now they had to sit and wait.

Which meant this was a perfect reprieve. He could talk to Yusuke, and get ready to go to mementos. It was all perfect.

Then by the time their leader came back, he’d be ready for whatever operation came their way.

He texted Yusuke, asking if he could see him.

Surprisingly, Yusuke said it was alright. That there was something he wanted to talk to him about.

So Ryuji went to Yusuke’s dorm, his medical papers in his bag as he made his way up. 

If Ryuji was surprised when Yusuke said it was okay to meet him, he was equally as surprised when he was actually smiling as he opened the door.

“Please, come in. I’ve made tea.” Yusuke said quietly, allowing Ryuji into his dorm.

Ryuji sat awkwardly on the bed, watching as Yusuke poured them both cups. “S-So um… I have to tell you something…” Ryuji said quietly, feeling almost timid at how hospitable Yusuke was being.

Yusuke smiled as he offered Ryuji the cup, “Go ahead, I have something I need to tell you as well.” 

Ryuji swallowed a bit, suddenly feeling very nervous, “A-Actually um, you go first. Go ahead and get it all out before I go.” Ryuji said with a nervous laugh, “I… I’m sure you want to let me have it after… what happened…”

Yusuke gave Ryuji a thoughtful expression, before sitting in his painters chair, “mm… to be honest no, if anything what I want to say… is I want to thank you.”

What?

“Wh...why?” Ryuji said quietly, “I… I cheated on you Yusuke…”

At least that's’ what Yusuke thought.

Why the fuck would Yusuke thank Ryuji for cheating?

Yusuke slowly nodded, before letting out a soft sigh, “You did… and it felt awful but… I’m glad you did.” He said quietly. “I feel… free.” He said, “Loving you is so hard… In the beginning wondering if you were going to tire of me and our little agreement, then wondering if you were going to leave me for Tsubaki…” Yusuke let out a soft sigh, “The anguish I felt when I heard you cheated… that you would let yourself get in a situation like that where you drank and had your way with someone else...”

Ryuji’s heart clenched.

Yusuke took a sip of his tea, “But… I’ve realized that all this pain and suffering could’ve been avoided had I just… not cared. Had I not expected anything from you and just stayed with our original agreement.” Yusuke gazed at Ryuji, “Which is why… I want to go back to that.” He said quietly.

What? 

“You… want to be friends with benefits again?” Ryuji breathed out.

Yusuke slowly nodded, “I don’t… like love.” He said quietly. “I’ve decided loving anyone that strongly… be it familial or romantic… it’s a waste of time…. A waste of energy.” 

Ryuji’s heart felt like it was being squeezed tighter and tighter, like it was in a vise. 

Yusuke noted Ryuji’s expression, and got up, walking toward him and kneeling down, “It is alright, Ryuji.” He said quietly. “There is no need to feel upset… You have taught me that I should appreciate the bonds I have as they are… and treat them as bonds… nothing more and nothing less.”

This wasn’t right.

Yusuke loved him… he would do anything for him and now… he just wanted to be fuck buddies?

Yusuke let out a sigh, “I however, will not force you to accept my agreement, Ryuji… I truly adore you and the reason why I am asking is because I want you despite everything that’s happened… If you wish to continue a physical relationship with me, however… I ask that you agree.”

Yusuke was fucking serious.

How could Ryuji say yes to that? When he cared so much about Yusuke.

How could he turn their relationship into something purely physical…?

. . .

No….

This was exactly what Yusuke had gone through with him.

Yusuke had set aside his feelings because he thought Ryuji didn’t want anything more with him than a physical relationship at first.

Is this what it felt like? For months…?

This was anguish…

Had Yusuke really… had to feel this way…?

If so… it’s no wonder he doesn’t want to go back to a relationship with him.

If he showed those documents, however… he’d have no reason not to go back to how things were…

Would Yusuke want that?

Would he still have that anxiety and have to live with it if they were together like that…?

No… Ryuji didn’t want him to feel that way…

Even if Tsubaki was a scummy bitch… even if he had been drugged to hell and back and deserved Yusuke’s love and not just this exchange… In the end he had still fucked up, and had done so after putting Yusuke through so much anguish because he was unsure of his own feelings

If it made Yusuke happy… he should be happy he wanted to do this with him still after everything.

“If you want that then… sure, babe.” He said with a little sad half smile, “I want what you want at this point.”

Yusuke smiled warmly at him, and Ryuji’s heart fluttered.

The blonde’s breath caught in his throat as Yusuke leaned in and kissed him.

It was chaste, soft, and Yusuke lingered within it.

When he moved to pull away, Ryuji wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back, deepening the kiss 

He didn’t want Yusuke to see just how heartbroken he was.

The two boys made out eagerly, Ryuji tugging Yusuke hard on top of him as he entwined their tongues.

“Mmh…” Yusuke pulled slightly away from the kiss, kissing gently over his temple, “Ryuji… can you stay here tonight?”

Ryuji flushed, glancing to the side with a sigh, “I… can tell my ma that I’m busy yeah…” He said quietly. “We got nothin’ to do till our leader comes back anyway…” 

Yusuke smiled, kissing his forehead. “I would appreciate it.”

Ryuji rolled on his side, allowing Yusuke to keep kissing him as he sent a quick text to his mom. “Mkay… I can stay.” He said quietly.

Yusuke let out a happy noise against Ryuji’s nape, “Please don't’ think that I feel any less strongly for you Ryuji…” Yusuke said quietly, “I would not be with you like this if I didn’t”

Ryuji took a bit of solace in that, turning his head to the side and returning the kisses slightly, “Hey...mh…” he let out a soft sigh, “Mind if… we take things a bit slow tonight? I honestly… didn't’ think you’d want me back.” He said quietly.

Yusuke nodded against his nape, “it is fine… though… if you’ll have me…” Yusuke kissed up his neck, “I would… love it if we could rekindle a bit tomorrow.”

Ryuji shuddered, his body heating up as he struggled to will his libido down. “Yeah…” he said with a shaky sigh.

Yusuke shyly kissed his nape, “If you’re… mm… if you… want…” Yusuke stroked down the front of Ryuji’s pants, “I can help you with this…”

Ryuji let out a soft groan, before rolling his hips forward against Yusuke’s hand.

Yusuke smiled, “I’ll take that as a yes.” He said quietly, slipping his hands into Ryuji’s pants and massaging the blonde's hips before grasping his shaft.

“Ah-” Ryuji stifled a gasp as he felt Yusuke tease mercilessly over the slit, coating his fingers liberally with the precum leaking out before pumping him.

“Does that feel alright, Ryuji?” He asked quietly, kissing down his nape and shoulder as he brought his other hand down and began peeling the blonde's pants away from him.

Ryuji nodded, panting a bit as he tried not to buck too eagerly against Yusuke’s hand.

He was upset, but he missed this.

He wanted to scream at Yusuke, say this wasn’t fair and he loved him… but he wanted to do what was right for Yusuke.

If this is what Yusuke wanted… he would live with it.

“Y-Yusuke I-” He panted, biting the back of his hand to keep hushed as he felt himself getting close.

Yusuke smiled, kissing his shoulder before curling around him and continuing to pump and tease him, “If you’re ready to finish then do so Ryuji…” He leaned forward, “I’ve missed this… I want you to finish for me…”

Ryuji let out a stuttered sigh as he came, trembling as he painted streaks all along the bed and sheets.

Yusuke smiled and kissed the top of Ryuji’s head, before cuddling close to him, “Mm… did you miss me, Ryuji?” He asked quietly.

“Of course I did babe…” Ryuji breathed out, turning around and returning the kisses. “I’m… I missed you so much…”

Yusuke sighed as Ryuji swept him up into affectionate nips and kisses, before settling down on his back as the blonde pinned him gently below him. 

Ryuji gazed at him, taking him in.

God he was so beautiful… so wonderful.

“Mh…” Ryuji sighed as he got up, “Alright, lemme um… clean up alright?” he said with a small laugh, “i’m gonna… be right back.” He said as he walked into the bathroom.

. . .

Ryuji collapsed against the door and let out a silent sob as he teared up.

The blonde felt awful.... Like he had just signed away his only shot at hapiness by agreeing to Yusuke’s terms.

But… if Yusuke wanted things to be like this he would do it for him.

Anything… for Yusuke to stay and to be happy.

Ryuji wiped his eyes, before taking a look in the mirror.

Sakamoto Ryuji loved Kitagawa Yusuke.

And he would do whatever he could to make this relationship right for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've decided perhaps after this chapter I should slow down a bit with my chapters lol. From here on out I want to spend more time making longer, quality chapters than giving them in short bursts. I hope you all bear with me ;u;
> 
> but yes, chapters are gonna come out a bit slower, but hopefully be much higher quality, hope you all enjoy :>


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They couldn't do it. Their relationship was broken shattered into jagged pieces and they were hurting themselves trying to put it together into something that worked.

Ryuji let out a soft sigh as he was slowly kissed awake. “Mm… Yusuke?” He said quietly with a yawn, glancing at the clock. 5:00 AM. He looked back toward his friend. “mm… mornin-”

“I got you breakfast.” Yusuke interrupted quietly, continuing to shower him with affectionate kisses as he held him, “mm… may I have a reward for doing so?” He breathed out.

Ryuji’s hooded eyes gazed at him, lazily returning the small kisses before humming, “mm… y’mean like morning sex? sure thing babe.”

Yusuke smiled shyly, gazing up at Ryuji through his lashes as he nipped his chin, “I apologize for being so forward… it’s just that our leader is due to come back today and…. Later on we won’t have time.”

Ryuji shrugged off his shirt with a yawn, “yeah… mm that’s fine.” Ryuji lay back, still sleepy as Yusuke stripped him down.

Yusuke gazed at Ryuji’s nude frame, gently palming at it as he traced his fingers over the blonde’s hip bones and up his chest.

“Mm… “ Ryuji’s eyes fluttered a bit from the touches, feeling himself drifting off as he closed his eyes.

“Ryuji?” Yusuke hovered over him. “Are you alright?”

“Mm? Yeah…” Ryuji murmured, only half awake as he let out a soft sigh, “M’just tired, do what you want…” he breathed out sleepily.

Tired was an understatement. He hardly slept.

After his cry in the bathroom, he took a shower and just stressed there for an hour.

When he got out, he went to lay with Yusuke, but every touch or nuzzle that happened in Yusuke’s sleep had jolted him awake and brought him back to that spiral of thought that kept him awake.

By the time he was okay and had pep talked himself into a more relaxed state of mind, it was already 4AM. He supposed he had fallen asleep a little while after that.

Not even an hour of sleep, and he had school soon too.

Maybe he’d just skip… or go in late or something.

He was too tired to even think.

“Mh… Ryuji…” Yusuke blushed hot pink as he shifted between the blonde's legs, “I um… wanted to try something new with you today if… it’s not too much to ask.”

What? Something different?

Ryuji didn’t care.

“Mh… sure go ahead.” Ryuji murmured out, fading in and out as Yusuke talked.

Yusuke shifted slightly, “W-Well it’s just that… I… can I…”

Huh? What did Yusuke say?

Ryuji hadn’t heard him.

“Mh… babe it’s fine.” Ryuji drawled out, “Do what you want… m’gonna just… rest my eyes… don’t be too rough and i’ll be good...” 

Ryuji felt the bed shift, feeling Yusuke kiss his cheek, “You’re the best.” the blonde heard him breathe out against his ear.

Ryuji mumbled incoherently, before falling back to sleep.

\---

Yusuke watched Ryuji rest, rubbing gently up and down the blonde's sides.

He was nervous.

Now that it was just a physical thing Yusuke had wanted to try some new things.

This though… was hard to initiate.

He had gotten Ryuji’s permission yes… but even if the blonde was okay with it doing something like this while he slept… the thought of starting it made a strange feeling stir in the pit of his stomach.

“He said it was fine…” Yusuke murmured to himself, grabbing the lube off the bedside table and coating his fingers liberally with it. He hoisted Ryuji’s leg up over his shoulder, glancing timidly at his partner.

Ryuji was dead asleep, his lids soft and his mouth parted slightly as he breathed evenly.

Maybe Yusuke should wait till he was awake…

. . .

No… after school their leader should be coming back if their plan went well… afterward they had work to do… there’d be no time for such frivolities…

If he was to do this… he had to do it now.

He said it was fine… Ryuji said it was fine…

Yusuke hesitated, before tracing a lubricated finger against Ryuji’s entrance, looking up at Ryuji shyly. 

Ryuji didn’t even stir, so he pushed his finger inside, shuddering as the velvety walls parted easily around the digit.

“So this is what it feels like…” Yusuke murmured to himself in awe as he swirled his finger around. He hesitated a bit, stretching him as gently as he could with one finger before slipping another into Ryuji. He scissored and stretched his fingers as slowly and methodically as he could, pushing them gently in and out as he felt the walls become more pliant around his fingers.

He glanced up to Ryuji again, his eyes widening when he saw the blonde was still out like a light.

Just how tired had he been?

Pursing his lips, Yusuke gently wriggled in a third finger, feeling the soft stretch and making sure it was slow and easy. If Ryuji wanted to rest, Yusuke would try his hardest to make this painless as possible.

Even as Yusuke stretched and moved his fingers in the space, Ryuji barely stirred.

Yusuke spread Ryuji’s legs, staring down in awe at him as he eyed over his body.

This was it… he was going to do this.

Yusuke didn’t know why he suddenly felt the urge to be inside Ryuji. He had always been perfectly fine with letting the blonde take the reigns and steer their sexual escapades wherever they needed be. 

Ryuji also had a lot of stamina… so it’s not like Yusuke had ever been left unsatisfied.

Maybe it was because Ryuji had never been intimate with another like this… 

If Yusuke took Ryuji in this way, he’d be the first and only person to do this with him.

That wasn’t to say that wouldn’t change in the future since they were just friends with benefits… but for now… he could be happy knowing that was the case.

Yusuke shuddered as he slid inside of Ryuji, letting out a soft groan as he shifted within him.

Oh god it was tight.

Ryuji was still dead asleep, but it felt like he was squeezing around Ryuji like a vise. Eventually though, his brain urged him to move.

Yusuke set a rhythm, watching Ryuji’s body sway as he felt the slick slide of his walls around his shaft. It slowly became easier, but the easier it became, the quicker Yusuke felt himself being shoved toward his climax.

God how did Ryuji manage to have such long sessions in bed? He wasn’t going to last…

Yusuke began bucking eagerly within him, unable to stop himself as he lost himself in that tight heat.

Ryuji began to stir, his eyes finally fluttered open as he was roused by the rough pace, “Mh… Yusuke…?” His brows furrowed, “Wh-Whaaaaaat are you DOING?!” his voice escalated, his eyes quickly going wide as he realized what was happening.

Yusuke immediately stilled his hips as he stuttered, “I-I asked if we could do this and you said y-yes remember?” He said timidly, feeling his heart sink.

Ryuji flushed pink, glancing to the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but Yusuke, “I-I d- I didn’t hear you dammit!”

“Then why did you say yes?” Yusuke whined.

“B-Because I thought you just wanted to rub off on me or something, not fuck me! W-why would I s-say yes to you fucking me while i’m passing out?!”

“M-My apologies Ryuji…” Yusuke felt great shame, shifting a bit and letting out a shaky exhale as he felt Ryuji squeeze around his shaft. “Should… Should I stop?”

Ryuji’s flush deepened, the blonde biting his bottom lip and closing his eyes as he calmed his breathing. “...Just… hurry up and finish. M’already speared on you so…” Ryuji sighed, “Do what you want.”

Yusuke reached out, cupping Ryuji’s cheek gently, “Are you sure?”

Ryuji pouted, keeping his eyes away from Yusuke as he gripped at the sheets, “Yes dammit i’m sure. Hurry up, I may be taking today off but you’ve got class yeah?”

Yusuke’s heart fluttered slightly, leaning close and kissing Ryuji’s temple, “Thank you Ryuji…” He said sweetly, continuing the soft kisses over his face, “I… I am honored that you would allow me your body like this… really I am.”

Ryuji sighed, “Yeah yeah… it’s not like I haven’t been screwing you for months so… I guess this once is fine…”

Yusuke gave an experimental roll of his hips, gazing at Ryuji to make sure there was no discomfort. The blonde's expression didn’t change so he continued. Soon Yusuke found his previous rhythm, all soft and gentle but deep thrusts as he enjoyed the tight slide of Ryuji around him. 

Soon Ryuji’s indifferent expression shifted, his eyes dilating a bit as he gripped the sheets.

Yusuke took notice, shifting his hips as he plunged into him a little harder.

“Ah-” Ryuji stuttered, “Th-There babe... Right there.” he breathed out.

Yusuke flushed shyly, snapping his hips up in the same fashion and feeling his heart soar when Ryuji let out a pleased groan. 

“Here…” Yusuke purred out, his body warm from sex and elation as he gently tugged Ryuji up. “It will feel better like this then…” the artist wrapped his arms around Ryuji and moved better against him, kissing over Ryuji’s face as he felt the blonde tremble in his arms.

Faster and faster Yusuke moved.

Louder and louder Ryuji got, until he had to bite his knuckle to keep from getting loud enough to be heard outside the room.

The two moved together, intimately and in their own little world.

Yusuke felt his heart soaring.

“Ah- B-Babe I-” Ryuji panted as he gripped Yusuke’s nape with one hand and touched himself with the other, “M-m- getting close…”

Yusuke let out a hum of acknowledgement, his hips stuttering as he felt himself beginning to peak as well.

This is what Yusuke had wanted. He just wanted Ryuji like this again.

Even if it wasn’t like before, if he could have this he’d be fine.

So long as they still had this...

“Y-Yusuke… Yusuke-” Ryuji babbled, kissing over Yusuke’s face gently, “Love you… mn- I love you so much…” He keened out.

Yusuke’s hips stilled, his heart dropping into his stomach.

Love? 

After what he did?

No, they still had this… They still had the sex but not love.

How dare he speak of love when he-

...Heat of the moment. He doesn’t mean it.

Ryuji’s eyes fluttered open, “Babe…? Mn… what’s… ah…”

Yusuke was so close to Ryuji he could see his reflection in the boys bright brown eyes. The scornful look that gazed back at him made him feel like someone dumped ice water on him. 

Ryuji’s gaze grew distant, and he pushed away from Yusuke as he flopped back on the bed. “My bad… No feelings, right?” He said, sounding bitter, “Sorry if I killed the mood…”

Yusuke let out a shaky sigh, gritting his teeth in slight frustration from being pulled from the precipice of his orgasm twice. “I can stop if you want.” he said, tone neutral.

Ryuji closed his eyes and draped an arm over his eyelids, “Just finish, you were close right?” He said quietly.

That was all Yusuke needed to hear.

The artist moved within Ryuji, but it lacked the warmth from a few moments ago. Instead it was just an animalistic need to finish their coupling. 

Too soon Yusuke found himself coming to climax, pulling out of Ryuji at the last second and letting out a stuttered groan as he coated the man’s stomach and thighs with his seed.

Yusuke gazed at Ryuji, the blonde was still hard. Biting his lip, Yusuke reached out to trace the tip of his finger on it.

Ryuji blanched away from the touch, gritting his teeth as he sat up and untangled himself from Yusuke, “S’fine. You should get ready to go to class.”

“I can at least help you finish, Ryuji. You don’t have to be so prudent-”

“Prudent? I just let you fuck me dude. I’m not being prudent.” Ryuji said with a frown.

Yusuke frowned, “Then why won’t you let me return the favor? It wouldn’t take long-”

“Because i’m just not in the mood alright?” Ryuji continued to interrupt Yusuke through grit teeth.

“You obviously are! Look if you think i’m mad about the slip then it’s fine. I’m not going to bite your head off for saying things accidentally-”

“Stop. just-” Ryuji interrupted, his eyes becoming glassy as he clenched his eyes shut and turned around, “Just go… please.” He said weakly.

Yusuke felt a pang.

Was Ryuji crying?

“Ryuji…?” he tried quietly.

“I… I-I can’t do this.” Ryuji said quietly, his voice cracking as his shoulders shook. 

“Ryuji… what’s wrong-”

 

“Let’s just stop, Yusuke.” Ryuji continued, letting out a sigh, “I… I want to do what’s best… but… I think things should just be normal between us.” He said quietly.

“Normal…?” Yusuke said quietly.

“Y-Y’know like… n-normal.” Ryuji said as he placed a hand on the wall, “Like… j-just hangin out… no sex o-or… anything like that. W-We’re gonna be busy anyway…”

Yusuke felt a bitter feeling come over him. 

Hearing Ryuji say he loved him hurt, when he had been with someone else.

. . .

When he had fucked someone else.

When he had lied to his face about where he had been.

Why was Ryuji acting like he was the victim when Yusuke was the one hurting? When his heart felt like it was cut open and raked against glass covered ground by three little words now that their relationship had been tarnished?

How could he say he loved him, and then act like this when he probably said those three words to someone else while he was inside them?

“If that’s what you think is best.” Yusuke said quietly. “You are right… I should get ready for school.”

If Ryuji couldn’t do this, then he couldn’t do it either.

“Your breakfast is on the counter. Feel free to use the shower before you go. I won’t be back till late so stay as long as you want.”

If Ryuji wanted normal. Then Yusuke would do normal.

“I’ll message you if I see anything about our leader.” Yusuke murmured out.

No nights cuddled against the warm body he’d come to love.

No soft kisses under the willow tree.

No little gifts or shy glances.

“Alright Yusuke…” Ryuji sniffled out. “T-Take care…”

No ‘I love you so much’

“And you as well, Ryuji.”

Just normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I come back after what, two months and I leave you with ANGST and EDGE. 
> 
> Lol I promise I haven't abandoned you guys. Life has been a snowball of responsibilities and i've barely been able to get away to continue stories. I will finish this story mark my words. Life can suck it >:V
> 
> Let me know what you think. I'm typing at the speed of light so I can update you guys on the story more regularly. I apologize if it's not up to par with the rest of the story but I will enjoy feedback none the less :>


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are there to look out for each other, especially when a friend has lost their way. 
> 
> **SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE ARK PALACE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

Akechi’s death had hit them all hard.

When they weren’t going on excursions to the palace, they were all doing their own thing, mourning in their own way. They all agreed that before sending the calling card they should take a few days as a breather. They had cleared it fairly early and had more than enough time to get their bearings.

For Ryuji, however; seeing just how empty the chat was when they weren’t going to the palace was stifling.

The girls had taken to working on plans in their spare time, Mishima was busy trying to keep the phan-site from cratering, Tsubaki was slowly ostracizing him from everyone in school.

Yusuke and him hadn’t talked at all, not that Ryuji really wanted to right now.

And Akira…

Well, he couldn’t get ahold of him. Like ever. 

He’d tried texting him, but he got no reply, and when he saw him briefly he was always with someone different.

In Shinjuku Ryuji saw him sometimes flirting with a fortune teller, or making his way into a seedy bar with that reporter. After school before he could catch him he’d be running down the stairs to some chick from Kosei academy. Even around his house when he’d go to visit he’d seen Kawakami being extra close.

He’d been friends with them before yeah, but this was different… it was way too close to just be friendly. 

Their leader was strong, but him and Akechi had been close, and even if he knew their fling would end, he didn’t think Akira wanted him dead over this whole thing.

None of them did… especially not after what he’d done for them in the very end.

Ryuji felt maybe Akira was taking it hard, and was compensating by surrounding himself with friends. 

Which was why the day before they decided to send the calling card, he went to visit his friend. To give him moral support.

As he made his way to the little cafe, he wasn’t really expecting what he saw.

“Just TALK to him Inari you idiot!” Ryuji heard Futaba whine loudly as he opened the door. “There’s GOT to be something he’s not telling you, or like… I dunno MAYBE you could not be a jerk and give him a second chance-”

“Ryuji.” Sojiro said with an exasperated sigh, “More guests I see.”

Yusuke and Futaba stopped their argument and stared over at Ryuji.

Ryuji’s eyes locked with Yusuke’s.

Fuck.

“I should be going.” Yusuke said quietly, grabbing his bag and moving to head out the door.

“Oh NO you don’t!” Futaba yelled angrily, jumping up onto his back and yanking his shirt collar as she rode him piggy back, “You’re staying RIGHT here. You, Ryuji and Kira-bro are going to STOP being angsty babies and we are ALL gonna talk about our problems!”

Yusuke looked like he was at the end of his patience.

“It’s fine Futaba…” Ryuji interjected, “I-I um… I came to see Akira actually. He around?”

Futaba frowned, pointing out the door. “He’s at the clinic. Maybe you can talk some sense into the horndog.”

Horndog?

Futaba frowned, “And AFTER, we’re dealing with your weird lovers spat.”

“It is NOT a lovers spat, Futaba.” Yusuke said through grit teeth.

“It is SO a love spat!” She argued back.

Ryuji slowly backed up, not wanting to get into this argument as he ducked out toward the clinic.

He made his way over to the clinic, opening the door. 

“Hello? He asked as he stepped in. the clinic was empty, but there were signs of Akira. His shoes, his bag his… jacket?

. . . um.

He heard a thump from the back room, and he raised a brow, heading over to the door.

“Excuse me, um.” Ryuji got no response, and he frowned, “Anyone in?” He tried, waiting and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

Whatever, it was obviously his leader, and he was impatient. 

“I’m commin in!” he said as he opened the door.

He sputtered, before letting out an exasperated “Not a fucking GAIN!” 

Akira was stripped down to his pants, sitting down on a chair with the nurse straddling his hips as they made out.

The nurse paused, glancing over to Ryuji, “Ah, you’re the boy I keep having to help.”

Akira stared over at him, “Hi Ryuji.”

Ryuji frowned.

“Hi my ass. We’re leaving.” He said as he stormed over.

The nurse blinked owlishly as she was helped gently off of Akira, watching as Akira was roughly tugged up and redressed. “Um… I still need him for today-”

“Sorry miss, you can have him back later.” Ryuji said as he stormed out with Akira.

Ryuji dragged Akira into the cafe, Sojiro and Futaba blinking as Ryuji flung him ahead and pushed him up the stairs. “Futaba, can you get his stuff from the clinic? I left his bag.” Ryuji said with a pout.

Futaba fidgeted, “Uh yeah… sorry um, Inari left-”

“S’fine… one thing at a time and all that shit- stuff… sorry boss.” Ryuji said quietly.

Sojiro sighed, scratching the back of his head, “I’m gonna just close up early. Don’t be too rough on him.” the older man said as he walked out.

Futaba gave a mock salute, before running out after her father.

Ryuji let out a long sigh, before walking up the stares and glaring at Akira. “How many?” He said with a pout.

Akira cocked his head to the side, bouncing his leg slightly as he waited for Ryuji to elaborate.

“How many girls have you been screwing around with Akira?” He said as he huffed. “I’ve seen you being friendly with a LOT of them.” 

Akira looked to the side, remaining quiet.

“Fine. The nurse is one. Kawakami?”

Akira kept his gaze away.

“I’ll take that as a yes. That fortune teller? The reporter?”

Akira had to keep from pouting as he kept his gaze away.

“Th-The Kosei girl too?!”

Akira’s head sunk.

“JESUS DUDE…. ANN?!”

“No. None of our teammates.” Akira corrected quickly. “E-Especially… not Ann.” 

Ryuji raised a brow, “Why? You don’t think she’s hot?”

Akira shook his head, “No she’s beautiful… but she looks way too much like my mom.”

Ryuji raised a brow, “You’re mom is a blonde bombshell?”

Akira shrugged, “Yeah I guess. Hairstyle is similar too.”

“Low pigtails?” Ryuji raised a brow.

Akira nodded.

“Huh… Got any pictures…? W-Wait that’s not what i’m getting at!” he frowned. “Okay uh… well I can’t think of anyone else… is that everyone?”

Akira grew quiet.

“That’s not everyone? Who the fuck else is there? Anyone I know?”

Akira remained extremely quiet.

“Akira…. C’mon” Ryuji urged.

“Wai…” he mumbled.

“What?” 

“Iwai… The gun shop owner…” 

“YOU’RE SCREWING AROUND WITH DUDES TOO?!” Ryuji pulled at his hair. “Please tell me you’re not fucking Mishima.”

Akira twiddled his thumbs, “I… may or may not be trying to-”

“Dude. No. He’s our friend and he doesn’t deserve a fling like that.” He said with a frown. “None of the people you’re messing with do.”

Akira shrugged, “it’s my choice.”

“Yeah well it’s my choice to ask you knock it the fuck off.” He said as he sat down next to him on the bed. 

Akira’s eyes hooded, and he sighed as he leaned back. “I dunno… when we’re not working I guess… It’s just easier.” He looked at Ryuji, “If… someone likes me enough to want to do those things… I don’t see why I should say no.”

“Yeah well, you’ve got a magnetism to you dude. Just saying it may be a bad idea to do that…” Ryuji mumbled. “I’d be heartbroken if…” Ryuji’s heart sunk, “If someone cheated on me… I’d be devastated…” He said with a small sigh.

“...You still haven’t shown Yusuke the papers.” Akira said quietly.

Now it was Ryuji’s turn to stay quiet.

“Why?” he asked as he gazed over.

Ryuji bit his bottom lip. “...Yusuke said…” He let out a shaky sigh. “He said he doesn’t like love… what it does to him…” Ryuji kicked his shoes off, pulling his legs close and closing his eyes. “If… I made him have to go back to that when he really feels that way about it… I’d feel like I’m almost being cruel.”

“From what you said about cheating… It sounds like you’re being cruel by not telling him the truth.” Akira noted as he leaned against Ryuji.

He let out a sigh, “Well this is different… The way you’re acting now isn’t you dude.” He said as he looked over. “All the sex and stuff… yeah you got into it with Akechi, but he was the only one, right?”

Akira hummed, “Yeah… I didn’t really do anything before him.” 

“So like… it’s like you’re trying to replace him, and it doesn’t work that way.” He let out a soft sigh, “The vibes and the energy you’ve been giving off… its’ like… kinda scary too.” 

“Energy?” Akira asked curiously, resting his head against Ryuji’s shoulder as he idly messed with the end of the blondes jacket.

“Yeah like… I dunno… it’s intense. Like you’ve always given off this vibe that’s made people wanna be around you but… It’s like you’re… pulling people to you in a different way, I dunno.”

Akira shrugged, “M’just the same as I’ve always been… I don’t think i’m doing anything different.” He said as he moved to trace the patterns on Ryuji’s pants, sliding a finger along Ryuji’s thigh.

Ryuji shuddered, and moved to protest, but his breath caught in his throat as he turned toward Akira.

Akira was just staring at the patterns on his pants, but his eyes were so grey. Had they always been such a… nice shade of grey?

Akira looked up at him, his expression blank and his eyes tired as he cocked his head to the side, “Ryuji…?”

Ryuji stuttered, before closing his mouth and staring over Akira curiously. 

Akira took note, and his eyes hooded further, leaning close and pressing his forehead against the blonde's, “Ryuji…” He breathed out, his voice husky and soft as he brought an arm to wrap around his waist.

Ryuji let out a noise in the back of his throat, trembling as he felt Akira trace along his back as his leader got on his knees and straddled his side.

“Ryuji…” Akira whispered his name out against his ear, nuzzling him gently, “Can I kiss you?” He asked.

Ryuji let out a shaky exhale as he found himself about to say yes.

Yes? Fucking yes?!

What the fuck…

“S-Stop.” Ryuji said sternly. 

Akira blinked, “Stop... what…?”

“Please stop… Whatever that is you’re doing stop it.” He grit out. “You’re scaring me dude.” Ryuji managed the words, shoving Akira back and looking at him sternly. “I’m not him dammit. I’m not what he was, and I can’t fucking BE what he was… and neither is anyone else you’ve been doing this to.”

Akira’s eyes widened, the raven haired boy staring at him with a confused innocence. “I… I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “...M’sorry…” Akira said again, his eyes growing distant.

Akira looked so lost.

Ryuji felt his heart clench, and he tugged his friend into a tight hug. “It’s alright… I dunno what happened but… you didn’t mean it okay? Maybe it’s all those personas and stuff. I’ve seen you running around with succubi and incubi and lilims in you, maybe it’s just rubbed off on you.” He joked.

Akira didn’t laugh, but he did give a small smile, “Well… my mom did tell me i’d grow up to be a heartbreaker… guess she wasn’t too far off the mark.” He said quietly.

Ryuji sighed, patting Akira’s back, “I’m gonna stay here tonight, to make sure you get some good rest.” He murmured out. “To be honest… I think we both could stand to have someone close around.

Akira gazed at Ryuji, his smile warming as he leaned against him, the tension from earlier gone, “You’re a good friend, Ryuji.”

Ryuji grinned, “Yeah well, like it or not i’m always gonna be here to keep you in dire straights… Just remember I want what’s best for you.” the blonde quipped.

“What’s best for me… huh?” Akira breathed out quietly.

“Mhm.” Ryuji yawned, getting up and going to the couch, “I know it’s not that late but i’m gonna crash. Tomorrow is calling card day yeah?”

Akira nodded, “Mm… before I go to bed hold on, there’s a few things I gotta do and prepare for.”

Ryuji frowned, “If you’re not back within the hour i’ll go find you. No more sleeping around.” The blonde lectured.

Akira gave him a warm smile, “I’ll only be a minute.”

Ryuji sighed and flopped back, “If you say so dude, take care.”

Akira waved at Ryuji, before going down and out of the Cafe. 

He fixed his glasses, before pulling out his phone and clicking a familiar contact.

“Yusuke speaking, “The artist answered.

Akira smiled, “Hey… Yusuke. After the palace, talk to Ryuji okay?” 

“I beg your pardon leader, but I don’t think that would be a wise course of action.”

Akira sighed as he stared up at the sky, “I know… if it’s too much then just talk to me after the fight okay? ...there’s things you have a right to know…”

Yusuke sighed on the other line, “If you say so, Leader. It is getting late, and I should retire.”

“Mm… alright. Take care Yusuke.” Akira said with a small click. 

If Ryuji wanted what’s best for him, then Akira wanted the same.

This had gone on long enough for all of them. It was time to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol there we go, hope you liked! A small friendship chapter for Akira and Ryuji :>
> 
> Also I just finished a "Date everyone" run of the game and am sitting here thinking that the wildcard holders probably just have this magnetism to them that attract lovers like magnets. I figured I'd run with that and it gave me an idea for another story i'm writing for the P5 fandom. Hope you all enjoy that one when this one is over if Akira/Akechi is your thing. :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you don't know how much you really need someone until they're taken from you. 
> 
> Time to pull a titanic.

“WE’RE GONNA DIE!” Futaba screamed. “I DUNNO HOW TO SWIM!”

And die they would, Yusuke thought to himself bitterly.

They got the treasure, they were almost done.

They were SO close.

But they were going to be killed by the palace crumbling around them, all of them gone due to no escape.

“Over there! A Lifeboat!” Makoto pointed over.

The group made their way toward it, but quickly stopped dead in their tracks. 

The lifeboat dock was close, but the mechanism to get it…

Yusuke’s heart sank further into the small feeling of acceptance, seeing no way out.

He wished he could save his friends, wished he could do something, but there was no way they’d make it to the mechanism to lower the lifeboats. 

Yusuke took a moment to glance out at his comrades, taking in the helpless looks on all of their faces. 

“We just gotta get there.” Ryuji said, determined.

Yusuke glanced back at the sinking ship bitterly, “It’s too far. We won’t reach it in time.”

Yusuke turned back and looked at Ryuji, and his heart fluttered.

The blonde was gazing at him, his searching eyes searing into Yusuke’s very core.

Ryuji gave him a sad smile that made the artists heart clench.

Before he could ask what was on his mind, Ryuji stepped forward. The blonde gazed at the path forward before looking over at the mechanism a ways away. 

“I got this.” Ryuji said quietly. 

“Huh?” Ann gave him a worried look. 

“Hang tight, I’ll nab the boat.” Ryuji said as he swung himself over the edge, leaving no room for argument. 

“R-RYUJI!” Ann yelled after him.

Yusuke could only stare at him in shock, watching him get into a racing position.

“It’s now or never… Here goes!” He said as he darted off like a bullet from a gun.

Akira bit his bottom lip, worried for his friend before motioning for everyone to run toward the dock.

They all made their way down, Yusuke’s heart beating fast as he tried to focus on climbing down instead of the blonde scrambling to get them to safety. 

Once they got down, they saw him practically climbing up to reach the lever. 

Yusuke’s heart skipped a beat as he stumbled.

“Ryuji!” He yelled out after him.

Ann clenched her fists, cheering him on, “GO!” she screamed.

With one last leap, he managed to make it to the lever to lower them down. 

Yusuke gaped. 

He actually made it…

He ran and leaped and scrambled his way to that lever… just to get them to safety.

He was an idiot… but…

Yusuke smiled warmly.

They were all going to make it out.

As the boat lowered to where they were, they hopped in. 

Ryuji had saved them, giving them an out.

They made their way one by one into the boat, and Yusuke gazed up at him.

Their eyes met, and for the moment, none of the past mattered.

Yusuke could only hope his gaze could convey how grateful he was to him at that moment.

Ryuji gave them a room lighting smile and a thumbs up, and Yusuke set out to quickly get everything going so they could go back and retrieve the blonde. 

“Hang on!” Akira screamed out toward Ryuji.

Turning on the boat, Yusuke turned to look up to Ryuji, “We’re moving!”

Stay right there Ryuji, we’re coming to get you.

Then they could all go home. Then they could pat themselves on the back and be done with this.

And then the ship exploded, the blonde being engulfed by flames in front of all of their eyes.

Ann and Akira stood up when the explosions settled, gazing out to the ship that was completely engulfed, Ryuji nowhere to be seen.

“No way… It can’t be…” Ann whispered out, her eyes growing glassy as she gripped the edge of the boat. 

Yusuke sank back in the boat, staring in shock at the now empty rung where Ryuji had been hanging.

“C’mon what the hell Ryuji…” Ann continued, her voice shaking.

Ryuji… Yusuke’s brain began to catch up with him as he reflected on what just happened. 

Ryuji was gone. Torn out of Yusuke’s life in an instant. 

“RYUJI!!!” Ann screamed out. 

Ryuji had died.

Yusuke had watched the explosion engulf the ark, Ryuji disappearing from their sight. 

Soon, the cognitive world faded around them, and they were back in the real world. 

“Mh… W-We’re back.” Ann said quietly, her voice shaking. “Ryuji!” She called out, looking for him.

Yusuke didn’t delude himself. He knew what he had seen. 

“He didn’t… make it out.” Haru said quietly, confirming what Yusuke was thinking.

“We gotta go back!” Futaba yelled at them. 

Morgana’s ears lowered, “That’s impossible.”

He was gone… They couldn’t change that.

Even so…

Yusuke let out a bitter laugh, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “Haha… this isn’t funny at all…” 

Why was life toying with him like this? Had he pissed off some higher power?

First Madarame, then his relationship with Ryuji? Now the blonde was dead after saving them all… after saving him.

As if he deserved to be saved. It was like his life was turning into some twisted tragic comedy.

“He was our fastest runner too!” Ann wailed, trying to come up with reasons why he couldn’t be dead. 

Yusuke had to stop thinking. This was too much. 

Looking down, he noticed something glinting on the floor. 

“So this is the treasure.” He grit out. 

“It’s a legislators pin.” Makoto said bitterly.

Akechi and Ryuji had both died, so they could steal a pin.

It would’ve been comical to an outside party, Yusuke thought.

Futaba began to cry uncontrollably, Ann quickly joining her. 

Makoto, Haru and Morgana all looked down, tearing up in mourning.

Akira looked numb, like he was lost in his own little world. 

Why? Had Yusuke known what he was doing he would’ve stopped him. 

Yusuke felt the tears falling now. His heart was breaking.

Yusuke wanted to tell Ryuji what a good man he was.

Yusuke wished they had fought less, had more time even if it was just as friends.

Yusuke wished he would’ve talked to him more.

“Maaaaan that was close!” A familiar voice said.

They all looked up in shock as Ryuji made his way to them from the bushes.

“For real though, why do palaces gotta explode so much? Can’t they disappear normally?” Ryuji whined as he pulled a stick from his jacket.

Ryuji was alive.

More than that Ryuji looked fine!

Yusuke’s heart swelled and then…

“What?” Ryuji said, staring owlishly at them.

Yusuke felt the urge to throttle him for being so reckless.

“Didn’t you die?” Haru said as she gazed at him, dumbfounded.

“WHAT?!” Ryuji gaped at her. “NO! I-I got blasted from the explosion and when I woke up I was layin’ on the grass. I mean… Ain’t I alive?” He looked around at all of them, raising a brow at Yusuke and the girls sniffling faces, “What’s this? Your crying face is so not cute.” He said to all of them, teasing with a sheepish grin.

Yusuke was going to kill him.

“UGH IT’S YOUR DAMN FAULT!” Ann screamed at him.

Yes. Killing him would be good, after Ann was done with him. 

Watching Ryuji get slapped into next week by their beautiful blonde goddess was satisfying indeed.

“WH- WHAT DID I DO!” Ryuji whined, rubbing his cheek. 

“WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” Haru whined, quickly drying her face after being insulted.

“You trouble maker!” Futaba bit out, fuming. 

“W-Wait. What’s this about?” Ryuji whined.

Ryuji quickly caught onto his blunder of making fun of them for crying, raising his hands in defense. 

“H-Hold on okay! I mean I almost… K-Kinda died... “ he stuttered.

The girls ganged up on him, and Yusuke figured he’d sit back and watch the show.

“Uh, Y-You guys are joking right?” Ryuji whined out.

Ryuji gave Yusuke a pleading look, and he just crossed his arms.

He’d be getting no help. He deserved what was coming to him. 

When the girls were done, Yusuke was satisfied that Ryuji got his just desserts.

Yusuke smiled at them all, “I’m feeling a bit hungry.” The artist quipped. 

“Why don’t we stop by somewhere before going home?” Haru asked with a smile.

They all walked a little ways down the street, getting plates of takoyaki from a vendor.

“It’s late.” Ann said with a sigh, “The trains will be stopping soon, we should get going.”

“I wish we could all eat together.” Makoto said quietly. “I bought a plate for Ryuji too if someone wants to give it to him.”

“I will.” Yusuke said quietly, taking it and smiling at them all. “You should all head home. I’ll see to it that he gets to his abode safely.”

“Thanks Yusuke.” Akira said with a smile, “Please… take care of him… Talk to him too, yeah?”

Yusuke caught the urgency in Akira’s voice.

Whatever it was Ryuji needed to tell him, it must have been important.

Yusuke nodded and waved after them, before turning to look back at Ryuji, who was leaning against the flagpole still. When he made his way back Ryuji grinned.

“Save your lives and get beat up. Can’t catch a break.” The blonde laughed out.

“You were reckless and you deserved it.” Yusuke said with a huff. “Risking yourself and almost throwing your life away like that…”

“I wasn’t throwing it away.” Ryuji said with a shrug, “I had nothing to lose.”

“You could’ve lost your life.” Yusuke argued.

“Yeah, but if I didn’t do anything I would’ve lost more than that. I would’ve lost you…” Ryuji trailed off, flushing as he let out a sigh, “Lost all of you. Whatever, we all would’ve died.”

“We could’ve come up with some way to do things together instead of you recklessly doing things on your own. Do you not trust us?”

Do you not trust me? Yusuke wanted to say.

“I do, but there wasn’t any time.” Ryuji got up and dusted himself off, “Even if there was, I wouldn’t have talked it out with you, that was the best way.”

He wouldn’t have even tried to do something different? Something safer?

Did he really think that little of himself? Or was it Yusuke he thought so little of?

“Saying things like that… Will make me lose faith in you Ryuji.” He warned, still upset he felt he had to put himself in danger instead of talking it out with them first.

Ryuji’s smile grew sad, “That’s okay… I’ve…” Ryuji let out a soft sigh, “I’m pretty sure I’ve already made you lose that.” 

Yusuke’s heart clenched, and he glanced away.

“... I brought you food.” Yusuke said quietly, trying to change the subject.

Ryuji walked over, giving him a gentle “Thanks.” As he reached out to take it.

They’re fingers brushed, and Yusuke trembled slightly.

Ryuji looked up at him. “Yusuke?” 

Ryuji looked so worried…

Yusuke felt his heart ache.

“I…” Yusuke cleared his throat and closed his eyes, “Akira… told me the day before that we should talk.” He said quietly, “That you had something you needed to tell me.”

Ryuji’s eyes widened, and he grew pale. 

“Ryuji…?” Yusuke asked, quickly becoming the worried one.

Ryuji let out a shaky sigh, and shook his head, “That's… I know what it is and… No.” Ryuji said as he gently tugged the food out of Yusuke’s hand, “I’ve… just made my peace with something is all. Nothin’ that needs to be discussed.” He said as he looked down at his food, taking a toothpick and popping a Takoyaki into his mouth.

Yusuke frowned as he watched the man eat. 

He didn’t want to do this, not when Ryuji had almost died saving him, but his pride couldn’t take it.

“If it’s something involving me I have a right to know, Ryuji.” He said sternly.

Ryuji shook his head, “Nope… M’not saying anything.” He said quietly. 

Yusuke became desperate, “Ryuji please, despite everything, before all of the mishaps and the fighting I am your friend.” Yusuke said, “If it’s something I need to know, then I ask you trust me-”

“I love you, Yusuke.” Ryuji said as he stared at him. “I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

Yusuke’s heart clenched.

“How does it feel when I say that to you?” Ryuji asked expectantly.

It hurt.

Love was supposed to be a beautiful thing… but all it did was hurt.

Madarame had told him he loved his mother… and in the end he had killed her for her work.

Madarame had told him that he loved Yusuke like a son… and in the end had lied, cheated and stole from him.

Ryuji hadn’t loved him, and when he didn’t things had been easy.

Things had been simple.

Yusuke could love him when things were simple.

But when Ryuji told him that he loved him… he had gone and given himself to someone else.

Lied to him about where he was. 

Cheated on him with another person.

Yusuke teared up, and glanced to the side.

The artist knew he was being petty. Prideful. 

He was the one not giving Ryuji a second chance.

Those destructive angry thoughts played over and over like a record every time Ryuji mentioned love to him.

How could he feel this way about the emotion when he knew Ryuji’s love was genuine.

When Ryuji probably did feel bad about it?

Ryuji let out a sigh, “You can’t stand it… can you?” 

Yusuke felt pathetic… He felt ugly.

To be so scared of such a natural thing like love, when he himself was a slave to it.

He couldn’t even bring himself to disagree with the blonde, because it was true… 

He couldn’t stand it.

Ryuji finished his food, before throwing the little tray in the trash.

“Then it doesn’t need to be said.” Ryuji said with a strained smile. “I don’t… I don’t want you to feel that way, Yusuke.” He said quietly. “I want what you want. I want what’ll make you happy, and if…” Ryuji let out a shaky sigh, “If… me loving you makes you unhappy then, you can always have me as a friend.”

“Ryuji…” Yusuke let out a soft sigh, “Its… it’s not… It’s just… hard.” he babbled.

Yusuke didn’t even know what he was saying anymore.

He wanted Ryuji close.

He wanted to push Ryuji away.

His heart didn’t make sense.

There were hands on the artist’s arms, and he let Ryuji pull him into a small hug. 

The blonde was so warm…

He had missed him… Missed this.

Ryuji leaned in and gave Yusuke a small kiss on his cheek before pulling away. “S’getting late, the line to Kosei is gonna stop running really soon.” the blonde said quietly.

No…

Ryuji scratched the back of his head, keeping his head down, “Thanks for the food and stuff… I should… prolly get going.”

Don’t go…

Ryuji gave him a small half wave, before making his way down the street.

Yusuke’s breath shook as he darted after Ryuji, holding him tight from behind.

Ryuji sputtered, “Y-Yusuke-”

“I want.” Yusuke’s breath hitched, “I w-want to stay with you…” he managed to sob out out. “I-I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow… or the day after, or a week or a however long in the future from now but…” Yusuke squeezed him as he rest his head on the blonde's shoulder, “B-but right now… the thought of being away from you… after I almost lost you hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt.”

Ryuji stayed quiet, before placing a hand over Yusuke’s, “My mom’s got work tonight.” He said quietly, tracing his thumb gently over Yusuke’s fingers. “You… can stay if you want.”

Yusuke nuzzled him gently, “Thank you… Ryuji.” He whispered out quietly.

Ryuji turned around in the hug, cupping his face gently before leaning in and kissing him.

Yusuke’s heart soared, and it took everything not to follow Ryuji’s face when it pulled away. 

It took everything not to hold him while they were on the train. 

Took everything not to tackle him down to the floor when he got into the house with him.

He didn’t know what this was, or how things were going to go, but he knew at this very moment there was nowhere he’d rather be than here with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol got this to you fast because the chapter is still being written and is TWICE as long as this part, so I split it into two. I was initially just gonna delete this whole first part, but I figured having a tiny bit of comedy leading back into the angst would help a bit. 
> 
> Lemme know what you guys think! :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yusuke goes home.

Ryuji sighed as he tossed his bag onto the couch, setting his keys on the counter. “Welcome back to mi casa I guess.” 

Yusuke nodded, shyly fidgeting as he played with the ends of his shirt.

It had been a long time since he’d been in Ryuji’s house. He hadn’t been back since…

Since they stopped being lovers…

Ryuji cleared his throat, and Yusuke jolted out of his thoughts to look at the blonde.

“We’re both pretty sweaty… I’ll run the shower, and you can go first… if…” Ryuji mumbled, flushing slightly, “If you don’t want to go in together.”

Yusuke felt a heat pooling in his belly, and he gazed over Ryuji.

“We can…” Yusuke cleared his throat, “I am not opposed.”

Ryuji nodded, before walking to the bathroom, Yusuke following meekly behind.

When they got into the spacious bathroom, Ryuji tossed off his shirt and peeled off his pants as he chucked them out into the hall, standing bare as he glanced over at Yusuke.

Yusuke’s eyes hooded as he gazed over Ryuji, his heart pounding as he took in the familiar body before him. He glanced to the side, his eyes catching in the mirror as he looked himself over.

He looked drunk, all flushed and hazy eyes. 

When did Ryuji gain the ability to turn him into a lush just by standing bare before him. 

“If you don’t strip, your clothes are gonna get soaked.” Ryuji mumbled as he turned on the water, taking the showerhead and running it over his neck and hair.

Yusuke stuttered a bit, before shakily taking his clothes off.

He was hard…Curses.

He tossed his clothes out the door before glancing shyly at Ryuji.

If the blonde minded his arousal he didn't’ say anything.

He fidgeted awkwardly by the door after closing it, the artist not sure what was appropriate.

Suddenly, he was sprayed with the showerhead.

“You gonna just twiddle your thumbs or are you gonna come get clean?” Ryuji said with a pout.

“Ah-um… a-apologies.” Yusuke said as he made his way over to Ryuji. 

Ryuji offered him the shower head, before grabbing the shampoo bottle and lathering his hair. 

Yusuke forced himself to tear his eyes away, and focused on dousing himself with the water.

When he was done, he gazed over at Ryuji, who was waiting for him to give the shower head back. 

“Ryuji…” Yusuke said shyly, “M-May I?” He asked, motioning to the blonde’s sud soaked head.

He wanted to touch him, and this was the most innocent way to go about it.

Ryuji eyed the showerhead before staring up at Yusuke, “Alright.” he said as he turned around.

Yusuke didn’t know what the hell he was doing in here with the blonde. 

He had no idea what Ryuji was thinking.

It was insufferable.

Gently, he tipped Ryuji’s head back, washing the suds from his blonde hair.

Despite it being dyed, it always felt very soft to the touch. Yusuke could tell he took very good care of it.

Yusuke found himself threading his hands through the short locks, massaging them well after the soap had been washed out of it.

“Mm…” Ryuji hummed and relaxed from the touch, tilting his head back farther and opening his eyes a sliver as he stared up at Yusuke.

Yusuke returned the gaze, his fingers trailing down to his nape and gently stroking it. 

“Do you want me to do you?” Ryuji asked quietly.

What?

Yusuke sputtered, a flush quickly rising back up his neck.

Ryuji rolled his eyes and pulled away, “Your hair genius. Since you washed mine.”

Oh.

“S-Sure… i-if… you are not opposed…” Yusuke said quietly.

Ryuji took the shampoo and turned to him, and Yusuke quickly turned to face the sink, gripping it as he kept his back to Ryuji.

Yusuke shuddered as those hands gently massaged his scalp, letting out a soft groan as he worked the suds into a lather. His cock jumped when he moved to rinse him off.

This was embarrassing. 

Yusuke had been pushing him away for so long, denying his affection for so long… and yet here he was making noises like a cat in heat just from Ryuji washing his hair.

“Ryuji…” Yusuke practically moaned out his name, wanting to get his attention but instead sounding like he was pleading.

Ryuji let out a frustrated sigh, resting his forehead on Yusuke’s shoulder. “C-Can you… stop that?” he asked.

Yusuke was growing needy, and his pride was losing out on his want.

“S… Stop what?” He asked, leaning back slightly and hardly feeling guilty as he brushed his rear over Ryuji’s front.

Sometime through washing him, Ryuji had grown hard too.

“T-That!” Ryuji whined, biting Yusuke’s shoulder in annoyance. “You’re… you’re making this hard… In more ways than one you dick.”

Yusuke let out a soft moan as he was bit, his eyes fluttering as he let out a shaky exhale. “Ryuji I… say what you want but I’ve missed you… Missed this.” 

“Yusuke…” Ryuji warned.

“I’m sorry… I know i’m not being fair to you but…”

I could’ve lost you…

I could’ve never heard your laugh again.

Felt your touch again.

Seen your smile…

Yusuke couldn’t say it. How much he loved all those things and how much it would’ve killed him to lose it.

“I want you, Ryuji… don’t you… think of me?” Yusuke said quietly. “Don’t you miss me?”

Ryuji pressed his forehead into his nape harder, “Yusuke please…” He sighed, “How can you fucking ask that when just looking at you burns my heart out… All it wants is you, you fucking idiot.”

“Then I’m yours to take… Just please Ryuji-”

“I love you.” Ryuji said against his nape.

Yusuke felt his heart clench.

“If we do this Yusuke… It’s not just sex.” he said quietly. “It’s not gonna be me fucking you… It means more to me and it always will and you have to understand and accept that if you keep pushing me.”

Yusuke teared up, frustration welling in his body.

Frustration at the situation.

Frustration at himself.

But he didn't’ want to think about it anymore. Not tonight.

“Then… make love to me.” Yusuke said quietly.

Ryuji’s head shot up and he stared at Yusuke’s reflection in the mirror.

“For tonight… Make love to me.” He said quietly, reconfirming it.

Ryuji put the showerhead up on it’s holder, allowing the spray to lightly run along them as the blonde nuzzled Yusuke’s cheek, “Are you sure…?” He breathed out against his ear.

His voice sounded so fragile.

“Don’t you think of me enough?” Yusuke said quietly, gently, as to not break this very fragile moment. “Don’t burn your heart out over me… For once just fuel it and let it burn…”

This was the least Yusuke could do for Ryuji.

Let him express what he’s probably wanted to express for so long, what Yusuke knew he was feeling.

Because Yusuke felt it too, even if he could no longer admit it.

“Please… show me how much you love me…” Yusuke breathed out gently, keeping their eyes locked in the mirror as he leaned back against him, “I won’t run… I won’t ask you to stifle your feelings… I can at least promise you that tonight.”

Ryuji said nothing, gazing at Yusuke for a little while longer in the mirror before closing his eyes and resting fully against him.

Yusuke let out a soft groan as he felt Ryuji’s shaft sit heavy against his rear, snuggling in-between his cheeks as Ryuji swayed with him. The artist was helpless as Ryuji traced his hands over his skin, caressing his stomach and dragging a trail up his chest. The blonde stopped at his flushed nipples, giving them a gentle squeeze as he worried the nubs between his fingertips.

Yusuke made a soft keening sound, and Ryuji breathed heavy in his ear. 

Ryuji pulled his hips away slightly, reaching up to the basin and tugging an unmarked clear bottle off the rack. 

Yusuke didn’t really have to guess what it was. 

Ryuji coated his fingers in the substance before looming behind him once more. The blonde gave a gentle kiss to the crook of his neck, before parting his cheeks with one hand and nudging his fingers inside with the other.

Yusuke could barely breathe, gripping hard at the sink as his body shook from the caressing sensations within his walls. His cock was twitching, and it was all he could do to not moan like the harlot he had been acting like since he got here. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, taking in his flushed face, the bite on his neck turning red.

He was a mess.

Yusuke dared to gaze back at Ryuji when his fingers pulled out of his now pliant body, the blonde grinding his hips against him as he let out a sigh. Brown eyes locked onto his, and Ryuji leaned in to give a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

Yusuke barely had time to react as one instant there was a hard press, and the next he felt his walls parting for the intruding hardness that was making his way inside of him. 

“A-Ah… Ryuji…” Yusuke gasped out, trying not to groan as he felt Ryuji slide in to the hilt. 

“Its okay babe... I got you…” Ryuji said sweetly, his voice soft and serene.

Yusuke’s heart melted at that, and he leaned back against him. 

Ryuji cradled him, pulling him back against his damp body. 

Yusuke brought a hand back and caressed Ryuji’s cheek, his other going down to squeeze gently at the blonde’s hip. He felt so full, his body was warm and his heart and emotions were spiraling.

Ryuji kissed his shoulder, then kissed the crook of his neck, trailing the soft kisses up to his cheek as he lingered. “M’gonna move okay?” He murmured against Yusuke’s ear.

Yusuke could only nod, feeling the blonde stiffen before rolling into him.

Ryuji pulled out and rolled in, again and again. It was slow and gentle, like a wave washing over him with each deep push inside.

It was the softest Ryuji had ever been with him, and yet Yusuke felt like he was being shattered down to the very core. 

He wasn’t going to last long.

Ryuji brought his hand out, stroking Yusuke firmly in time with his thrusts as he glanced up at him in the mirror.

Yusuke’s heart twisted and fluttered at the love in that stare, and he felt himself tip over the edge, spilling over his hand and in streaks along the sink basin as his orgasm shook him. 

Ryuji kissed Yusuke’s temple, before slowly pulling out of him and settling him gently down on the floor, grabbing the showerhead and washing the sink basin before moving to wash Yusuke’s body.

Yusuke gazed up at him, dazed and warm from his post-coital high as he watched Ryuji pull back to wash himself. 

“Ryuji…” He called out, “Why’d you stop…?”

Ryuji paused, gazing to the side shyly, “You… needed me for that, right? You got off so…” Ryuji sighed as he shifted from foot to foot, “Figured you wouldn’t want me pushing it.”

Yusuke’s heart hurt at those words.

“Ryuji…” He called out.

“Mm?” Ryuji looked back at Yusuke.

“I didn’t ask you to ‘get me off’… I asked you to make love to me.” Yusuke said quietly.

Ryuji tensed, gazing at Yusuke with something Yusuke never wanted to see in Ryuji’s eyes with him.

Fear. 

There was fear there. Fear of rejection.

Fear that Yusuke had put there.

“I asked you… to make love to me.” Yusuke said quietly, gently like Ryuji had done to him earlier. “Please… show me that love, Ryuji…” He asked, raising his arms up and offering an embrace.

He wouldn’t let his confused feelings ruin this moment.

Ryuji needed this… Needed Yusuke just as much as the artist needed him, and he understood that now.

Ryuji turned the shower head off, placing it back on the rack and biting his lip. “You sure I can… have you how I want for tonight?”

Yusuke nodded.

He promised him tonight, and he would keep that promise. No matter how he felt in the morning.

Ryuji fell into Yusuke’s waiting arms, kissing his temple. “I love you…” Ryuji breathed out against him. “Babe… mm… I can’t even say how much I fucking burn for you…” He breathed out like he was starving. Like saying those words gave him life. 

Yusuke flushed, and then arched as he felt the hot press of Ryuji’s cock against him, feeling it slide deep as their bodies slotted together.

Ryuji ground deep into him, the hot press of the tip against his prostate was almost too much for Yusuke after their previous coupling. 

Yusuke spread his legs wide, allowing Ryuji further into his body. 

Ryuji’s breath was hot against his ear, becoming rushed as he pushed in and out of him with fervor, quickly gaining a rhythm against Yusuke’s pliant body.

He moaned and Ryuji gazed at him, their eyes locking.

A moment of awareness passed between them. Questions floating from both of them with each labored breath. 

What was this? What was happening? Where were they going from here?

Yusuke leaned in and pressed his forehead to Ryuji’s in reassurance.

Nothing needed to be answered, not now. 

That’s not what they needed right now.

Ryuji understood that, gently lifting Yusuke up and cradling him like he was a treasure. 

Yusuke was taken to the bed, laid down tenderly on the sheets as Ryuji settled against him.

Ryuji spread his legs, marveling at the sight of him before rolling himself back into that sweet rhythm.

Yusuke struggled to breathe as his heart soared. He was so overwhelmed, so in awe of the tenderness of all of this. 

Sex with Ryuji had never felt this full of purpose… full of adoration…

“God Yusuke” Ryuji panted out as he began to drive into him, his eyes squeezing shut as he enjoyed the walls around his shaft, “I… F-Fuck… You’re my… I-I…” Ryuji stumbled over the words.

Yusuke dragged Ryuji down against him, already hard again from the sharp, stimulating pierces hitting him over and over. “It’s okay…” Yusuke breathed out against his ear. “I want to hear… tell me what you want to say, Ryuji.”

For the first time in a long time, Yusuke did want to hear it. He wanted to hear that Ryuji needed him just as much.

“My fucking GOD you are my world…” Ryuji breathed out against his ear, biting down gently on Yusuke’s neck as he worried the skin there. “People-ah- say it’s bad to say it too much because it-nh stops being meaningful but… I love you so much more than I think the word love can fucking mean.”

Yusuke loved him too.

The artist bit his bottom lip, stifling a moan as Ryuji’s thrusts became hard and steady, crying out with a wanton moan when his cock slammed into him just right.

“More…” Yusuke begged, “Please, Ryuji… More-”

Ryuji silenced him with a kiss, licking deep into his mouth and entwining their tongues as the sound of skin slapping against skin and the creaking of the bed filled both their ears.

God Ryuji was suffocating him with the kiss, and Yusuke loved it. 

He was being slammed into in just the right way, at the right angle, at the right speed. Ryuji knew his body inside and out and Yusuke wouldn’t be satisfied with anyone else.

Yusuke didn’t think he could ever love anyone else this much...

Yusuke wanted to scream in frustration because even after all of these revelations, he couldn’t bring himself to voice these thoughts.

So Yusuke settled with pushing back against his thrusts, squeezing tight around his shaft and forcing a moan out of Ryuji. Yusuke kissed and suckled on his neck, eager to mark him up with kisses to show just how much he wanted him, how much he needed him.

Yusuke would cling to Ryuji like he would never let go, so the blonde understood that he never wanted to.

“Yusuke… Y-Yusuke” Ryuji was breathing his name over and over like a mantra, lost in the searing heat of his walls as he gazed down at him. “F-Fuck- Yusuke I’m… m-” Ryuji made to pull out.

Yusuke locked his legs around him, snapping Ryuji’s hips forward as he refused to let him go.

Yusuke wanted Ryuji’s love. Wanted his touch. He wanted everything Ryuji could give to him.

A gasp tore from Ryuji’s lips, and he pinned Yusuke hard on the bed as he pushed deep, grinding out his orgasm as he spent himself in the artist beneath him.

The warmth of being filled tore Yusuke over the edge, his mind blanking as climax hit him for a second time. 

The two clung to each other after that, panting in a mess of limbs and sweat as they fought to catch their breaths.

 

It was quite a time before their brains caught back up with them.

Ryuji rolled off of him, panting and giggling up to the ceiling.

Yusuke gazed at him curiously.

“If this is what pity sex after dying is like. I should blow up more often.” Ryuji joked as he waggled his eyebrows at Yusuke.

Yusuke let out an undignified “Snrk” as he tried not to smile. He shoved the blonde before chuckling “Stop, that’s not funny.” 

“No… it’s not.” Ryuji said with a laugh, before rolling over and stroking Yusuke’s cheek, “But if it gives me a night of being able to love you properly… I’d die a million times over.” Ryuji said with a warm smile.

Yusuke flushed… his heart warm from the meaningful look Ryuji was giving him.

It was honest… pure…

Yusuke would never question that Ryuji loved him ever again.

“Ryuji…” Yusuke breathed out, “I… mh… I-I…” Yusuke stuttered, feeling frustration as he struggled with conveying anything.

“Shh… it’s okay... “ Ryuji said quietly. “A lot has happened… You should let time catch up with you before doing or saying anything, and we BOTH should get some sleep.” The blonde cuddled against him with a sigh, “Whether tomorrow you’re still okay with what happened… or if tomorrow you decide that tonight was a mistake… Thanks Yusuke… for letting me be with you.” 

Yusuke held him tight. 

Ryuji was much too good for him.

The blonde yawned, resting against him and closing his eyes. “M’fuckin tired… today wore me out…” He drawled out, his eyelids drooping. “Love ya...mh… sweet dreams…” he breathed out, slowly dozing off to sleep. “We can talk… in the morning..."

Yusuke relaxed, watching Ryuji sleep next to him, stroking the boy’s hair.

He loved him. 

Yusuke felt he would always love him.

He hated these fearful emotions that stopped him from expressing his love, but he’d fight them. He’d try.

After setting his pride aside and seeing just how much they needed each other, he’d be a fool not to.

Maybe they could start over… and maybe one day Yusuke could find it in him to forgive Ryuji like he desperately wanted to.

Perhaps the road to doing so would be long and arduous, but he had to try, for both of them.

With that in mind, he reached to the nightstand, grabbing his phone and texting Akira. 

‘I asked Ryuji about what we discussed, and he wouldn’t tell me.’ Yusuke typed out. ‘What do I need to know?’

Acceptance started with accepting things that are hard to hear and to cope with.

Whatever it was Ryuji was trying to hide from him, trying to shield him from, he had to understand and accept it.

His phone buzzed. 

‘If you’re at his house, check his drawer, two compartments down. I think that’s where he put it.’ was all the text said.

It?

Yusuke bit his bottom lip, glancing to the side. 

He didn’t want to snoop through Ryuji’s things.

But if it was so important that their leader was imploring him to do so, he had faith that it was imperative he know.

Carefully, he peeled himself away from Ryuji, and he made his way to the drawer, quietly opening it.

Under a pile of clothes was a...file?

A medical file.

Yusuke leaned against the dresser, opening it as he looked through the contents.

The hours ticked by in Ryuji’s bedroom, and eventually sunlight filtered into the small window. 

Ryuji barely stirred, cuddling into the covers as he hid from the sunlight.

Yusuke, on the other hand, was gone. Clothes gone, bag gone, and the only indicator that he had been there that night was the open medical file sitting on Ryuji’s desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa this chapter was so longggg. It was originally gonna be one chapter with the previous one but it was way too much to edit at once with no beta readers lol. 
> 
> Still I hope you enjoyed and look forward to more :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protecting someone your own way isn't always the best way. Ryuji and Yusuke have to learn that.

Ryuji groaned, waking to the sound of his phone buzzing on his nightstand as he blindly searched palmed around for it. 

Wait, nightstand? How did his phone get on the nightstand?

He peeked his head out of the covers, glancing around. His clothes had been neatly folded on the nightstand, his phone above it and easily accessible. 

His phone stopped vibrating and Ryuji sat up, “Babe?” He called out.

Silence greeted him in return.

Ryuji’s heart sank.

“Pull it together Ryuji…” He told himself with a sigh. He knew there was a possibility of Yusuke regretting things, he shouldn’t be surprised.

Suddenly Ryuji’s phone buzzed again, and the blonde sighed in frustration. 

What time was it, six? His mom wasn’t even fucking home yet.

He grabbed his phone, looking at the number.

Akira Kurusu.

He swiped it on and answered, “Yeah? What’s up.”

“How fast can you get here?” Akira asked quietly.

“Wh-What?” Ryuji groaned out, “Dude it’s fucking earlyyyy” He whined.

“EARLY MY FOOT RYUJI!” Morgana’s voice screeched out over the phone, “EMERGENCY MEETING AND YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO ISN’T AT A MODELING SHOOT, AT A CEO PRESS CONFERENCE, OR IN COURT WITH THEIR SISTER!”

Ryuji tugged the phone away from his ear, wincing at Morganas yells. 

“What the fuck- what is happening?!” Ryuji groaned as he got up, grabbing some clothes from his dresser.

“Futaba’s gone.” Akira said quietly. “Yusuke’s gone too… they’re probably both in Mementos.”

“W-Wait what?!” Ryuji screeched, hugging the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he kicked his pants onto his legs.

“Futaba’s not in her room… so she probably went with Yusuke.” Akira explained.

“And how the fuck do you know Yusuke is in mementos!” Ryuji yelled, tugging his shirt over his head “Going in alone is fucking dangerous, he’s not stupid!”

“Because he sent me a text that he may not be available… and he asked me for a target name.”

“A name…?”

It was then Ryuji noticed that his dresser drawer was open, and the file that was supposed to be inside was missing. 

“Shit…” he breathed out, tearing through his room, “Shit shit shit-”

He froze, staring in dread at the open medical file on the desk.

“FUCK.” Ryuji grit out, bolting and grabbing his keys as he shot out the door. 

He texted his mother that he was gonna be busy today, before texting Yusuke.

A lot.

When he got no answer he called.

Phone immediately went to voicemail. 

Fucking hell.

When he got to the shop, he stormed in, Akira and Morgana sitting and waiting for him. 

Sojiro sighed, flipping his sign to closed, “I need a smoke.” Sojiro mumbled quietly, before going out and locking the door behind him.

The man looked worried to the end of his wits.

Ryuji let out a frustrated groan.

Akira got up and clicked the Mementos app.

“Wait, it’s just gonna be us three? We don’t even know where they are!” Ryuji said with a frown.

Morgana sighed, “Yeah, but the trains are slow today due to an accident and it would take well over an hour before the girls can get here.” Morgana said, “It’s gonna just be us, we don’t know if our friends are in trouble so we need to move.”

Ryuji nodded, and they made their way to mementos.

As Akira drove with Ryuji in the passenger's seat, he felt awful.

Futaba was like a sister to Akira, hell like a little sister to all of them. 

She shouldn’t be put in unnecessary danger.

Ryuji turned to Akira and bowed his head, “I’m so fucking sorry man… Futaba shouldn’t be part of this shit… I-I just didn’t think Yusuke would fucking snoop through my shit!” He said through grit teeth.

That wasn’t like Yusuke at all. The fuck.

“He didn’t snoop.” Akira said, his stare even as he kept his eyes on the road, “I told him where the file was.”

“You… what?” Ryuji snapped his head around, staring at Akira.

“I asked him to talk to you… and if you wouldn’t say anything or seemed like you were lying he should talk to me… Then when he said you wouldn’t talk I told him to check your drawer.” He said simply.

Ryuji stared at Akira, dumbfounded. 

What in the actual fuck…

. . .

This fucking asshole.

Ryuji grabbed the wheel, slamming on the breaks and kicking Akira out of the car with a hard kick.

Morgana let out a disgruntled ‘meow’ as a “RYUJI!” tore from the angry cat.

Ryuji ignored him, hopping out and walking over to Akira, tugging his friend up.

He then punched him square in the face, knocking him back down.

“How fucking DARE you Akira.” He spat out, “I fucking trusted you and you go behind my back and do this shit?! I explained why I wasn’t gonna tell him!”

Akira winced from the rough treatment. “He deserved to know, Ryuji.” Akira said as he touched over his cheek, wincing from the pain. 

“What he deserves to fuckin know about my personal life is my goddamn business!”

“Akechi gave you those files… to show to Yusuke.” Akira said evenly, standing up as he gazed at him, “When you didn’t show them to Yusuke you made it my business.”

“You don’t fucking UNDERSTAND!” Ryuji screamed at him, “He was happier! He doesn’t WANT to love me and now… Now not only does he probably feel like he has to but he’s probably angry I lied about ANOTHER thing!” Ryuji gripped his hands and forced himself not to punch Akira again, “You’re my leader, My fucking best friend but DON’T pretend you understand our situation like you can fucking fix it-”

This time, it was Ryuji who was punched, the blonde knocked to the floor by Akira’s fist.

Akira’s eyes were calm, but behind the neutral countenance there was a storm there.

“You almost died, Ryuji…” Akira said quietly. “You almost died… and you would’ve died with Yusuke thinking you were a liar and a traitor…” He grit his teeth, “I… may not completely understand your situation, but I know what that’s like. I know what it’s like to care about someone who's lied to you and used you and tried to cheat you. I know what it feels like to have them torn out of your life with no closure, no second chances and no fucking way to fix it...NO ONE deserves to go through that.”

Ryuji stared at Akira in shock. Joker was never one to give speeches… show emotion.

“… What we do is dangerous. It can go south at any time.” Akira let out a soft sigh as he made his way back to the car, “You should be cherishing the time you have while you have it… because anything can happen, and if something does it will eat you up inside that you didn’t do anything sooner… that you didn’t try to do things differently.”

Ryuji watched Akira get into the car, slowly making his way around and hopping back in as well.

His heart clenched at how hard things must’ve been for Akira.

How hard things must still be.

He felt like a dick.

Ryuji gazed over to Akira, “How’s your face?” He mumbled.

Akira shrugged, “I’ll live… yours?” he glanced over.

Ryuji gave him a strained half smile, “I’ll live…” 

Morgana groaned, silently urging them with his tone to apologize.

“S-Sorry dude…” Ryuji let out a shaky sigh, “No… you’re right I… I fucking should’ve said something, talked it out with him… Especially after last night.”

Akira raised a brow, “Were you two okay last night?”

Ryuji flushed, smiling sheepishly, “Dude… I-I dunno but like… We got cozy and I felt so close to him…” the blonde let out a chuckle, “I feel like i’ve found my fucking soul mate with him… there was such a like… mental… freaking SPIRITUAL connection there when we-”

Morgana cleared his throat, “I uh… don’t really think I want to hear about um… anything too personal.” 

Ryuji chuckles, “S-Sorry… I’ve… God I’m on fucking cloud NINE dude!…” he let out a happy sigh, “I just… hope they’re safe.”

Akira leaned back, “Yusuke’s smart. Futaba is too… we’ll find them and they’ll be safe. We just have to count on it.”

Ryuji nodded, “Yeah… Yeah you’re right. We’ll find them and i’ll make it right.” Ryuji glanced out the window, “If he’s mad at me … I’ll do whatever it takes to make it better, no more lying or hiding shit.”

Akira smiled at him, “I’m sure things will be fine.”

Yeah they’d be fine.

Everything would be okay…

Meanwhile…

“INARI MOVE YOUR BUTT, ITS JAMMING INTO MY SIDE.” Futaba whined.

Yusuke frowned, trying to shift in the small space of necronomicon as his face brushed one of its tentacles, “Honestly how can you stay inside this thing? It’s insufferable.” 

“Yeah well usually there’s only one person in here. Y’know, that one person being tiny little ME and not a giant Inari.” She said with a frown. “When you said you needed to go defend Ryuji’s honor or something I thought we were bringing Mona, not packing ourselves into MY persona like a pair of sardines in a can built for one.”

“No. I have to do this alone.” Yusuke said with a sigh.

“Ahem.” Futaba frowned.

“Well… I have to do this with just you.” Yusuke corrected. “I don’t know why Ryuji hasn’t given this woman a change of heart, perhaps it was under leaders orders, or maybe he was too…”

Embarrassed? Ashamed? Broken?

Yusuke felt himself fuming.

“E-Either way, this loathsome cur of a woman deserves her just desserts, and I’m not risking being banned from doing anything by anyone, or forcing Ryuji to face something he shouldn’t have to face again.”

“Inari…” Futaba said with a small pout, “H-Hey don’t worry alright? She’ll get what’s coming to her. I may not be able to help fight, but I can at least give you all the backup I’ve got.”

Yusuke felt his heart swell.

He never had siblings, family, but Futaba always reminded him that this was probably what they were like.

No… his whole group did.

He loved and cared for them all like family… more than that they really were his family.

“Ah…” Futaba interrupted his thoughts, “I’ve got a reading. She should be around here somewhere…” She frowned as she clicked a few panels floating in front of her. “Somethings weird though… according to this she keeps phasing in and out-”

Suddenly they both had whiplash, the Necronomicon careening through the sky and barely halting itself from flying into the subway wall as it righted itself. 

Yusuke winced as his temple hit the side of the Necronomicon, before a tentacle slithered around him and tugged him out.

“Sorry Inari” Futaba said as she clicked a few spaces on her terminals, “This thing is comin’ in hot and I can’t fly well with both of us in here.” She said as she set him down, barely able to fly back before another brisk attack barely missed them. 

Yusuke sputtered as he was gently tossed, regaining his balance as he landed. He looked around, unable to find anyone.

“I do not understand…” Yusuke murmured as he slowly drew his sword, “where is she-” 

He barely finished his sentence before a large ball of fire blew him right onto his rear, wincing as he was immediately hit again. 

“Inari!” Futaba screamed, “Hold on!” she typed as quick as she could, healing him and keeping her distance as she scanned the enemy. “She’s weak to electricity... Ice will have no effect. Crap…”

Yusuke got up, dusting his outfit off as he frowned, “I can’t even see her…”

“Looking for me?” a familiar female voice purred out.

He looked in the direction of the voice, his eyes widening as Tsubaki’s shadow stepped out and grinned at him. 

Yusuke gripped his hands and grit his teeth.

“What’s wrongggg?” shadow Tsubaki purred out, “I figured you’d be happy to see me. Here to thank me for getting you out of a bad relationship?”

Yusuke felt his blood boiling.

“Why?” he grit out. “Why would you do such a thing…? Drugging an innocent bystander and having your way with him?”

“Have my way with him? Heh, honey I just took pictures. It’s not my fault if he assumed I had sex with him.” She grinned, “And it’s your fault for not believing him.”

Yusuke faltered, glancing to the side.

“I’m sure he probably tried to tell you there was some kind’ve mistake, but you probably broke his heart anyway.” She laughed, “He’s looked like the living dead since that night, and he even apologized to me for what happened! You must’ve absolutely devastated him!” Tsubaki mocked, “Now all that’s left of him is a sad shell, a poor sad man who can’t believe in his lover.” She giggled, “You’re the worst.”

Yusuke felt his heart sink even further.

Ryuji had probably tried to talk to him, but he probably didn’t listen.

He probably wanted to tell him he had been drugged, but had been scared.

Scared… like last night.

Fear of being intimate. Fear that he had put there.

Fear that was born from Yusuke’s anger… his unfounded anger.

“Inari don’t listen to her! She’s doing something to you!” Futaba yelled.

No… Tsubaki was right.

Yusuke fell to his knees.

“You’re in despair! Yusuke hold on!” Futaba typed a few things into her console, before healing him and buffing him to try and resist the effects.

Tsubaki growled, before shifting, her body taking on a more curvaceous form. “Do not interfere, child!” She roared, blowing the necronomicon out of the sky as Futaba was flung from it.

Yusuke was staring into space, like he hadn’t even heard the noise. 

Tsubaki turned back toward Yusuke, kneeling down and purring, “Well… things are horrible… awful…. I know that to be true…. You’ve ruined your lover beyond repair…. But…” She tilted Yusuke’s head up, “I can… save you if you like.”

“Save…? Save me…” He murmured.

“Yes… save you.” She said quietly. “Don’t you want to be happy with Ryuji…? I can give you that if you want… if you stay here with me…. If you worship me and stay with me…” 

Suddenly, Ryuji appeared behind Tsubaki, all sheepish and shy as he scratched the back of his head. “Hey there, Yusuke… I’ve missed you y’know.”

Yusuke couldn’t move, his body was so weighed down by despair he couldn’t budge an inch.

Still, Ryuji was calling him.

He couldn’t abandon him, not again.

Goemon revealed himself, shining bright and strong over Yusuke’s form, before landing in front of Ryuji. 

Goemon then shifted, becoming smaller, thinner, until he was merely a reflection of Yusuke’s shadow. The golden eyed artist was so pitiful, standing timidly in front of Ryuji.

Ryuji smiled warmly, “Hey babe… I.. I missed you so I came to go get you-”

Yusuke’s shadow threw himself into Ryuji’s arms, “I’m so sorry…. I’m a horrible awful person and I- I don’t deserve you… I’m sorry….” he sobbed, “I-I’m so… sorry…”

“Shh… it’s alright babe… I got you.” Ryuji kissed Yusuke’s forehead, “M’here for you, and nothings gonna tear us apart okay? We just have to stay here with Tsubaki and we’ll be happy.”

Yusuke’s shadow nodded, burying his forehead into Ryuji’s chest, “If that’s what I have to do then I’ll do it Ryuji… I’ll stay right here, I won’t go anywhere…”

Futaba struggled up, calling her persona over and wincing as she attempted to type a few things into the console, “Inari… snap… OUT of it!” she cried as she attempted to dispel the illusion.

Tsubaki, however, was having none of it.

A large fireball hurled itself at Futaba, sending her flying away from the console. The succubus like monster flew over, grabbing Futaba by the hair and ripping her up to her knees.

“You’re gonna continue to be a nuisance are you?” She purred out. “Then perhaps I should just get rid of you.”

A fireball appeared in her hand, and she raised it above her head.

“Goodbye, little girl-”

“MEOW!”

Suddenly Tsubaki was rammed hard by everyone’s favorite cat bus. 

“Futaba!” Ryuji ran over to her, picking her up gently and looking her over. 

“She’s hurt bad…” Morgana’s engine sputtered sadly, “My magic isn’t gonna be enough to heal these injuries… I can get rid of the burns but she needs to get out of here.”

Ryuji grit his teeth, before turning over to Yusuke. 

Yusuke was still kneeling, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular. Looking past them he saw…

“What the fuck?” Ryuji frowned.

Yusuke… another Yusuke was there, and another him. 

They looked… happy.

“Ryuji… get in the van with Morgana, she’s dangerous.” Akira said quietly, stepping in-between them and walking over to get Yusuke.

Tsubaki sneered, “Oh no you don’t.” 

She erected a wall between them kneeling down and wrapping her arms around the catatonic artist “He’s mine. He came to me and I’m taking him.”

“Like hell you are!” Ryuji grit his teeth, “We’re not leaving without Yusuke-”

“We’re no match for her right now, Ryuji… Futaba is down and we don’t have backup… we should come up with another plan…” Akira said quietly.

“I’m NOT leaving without him, Akira.” Ryuji’s fists shook, “I won’t… I won’t go…” 

Akira let out a shaky sigh, before turning and looking at Tsubaki, “How about a trade then?” he said quietly. “Me for Yusuke.”

Tsubaki raised a brow. “Mm… You…?” She smiled, “You’re that playboy from school aren’t you?”

“Akira, bro what the fuck are you doing?!” Ryuji took a step forward, before being blown back hard, slamming into the side of Morgana’s now vehicle like body. 

“Mmmmm, Deal.” She said with a chuckle. “Take him” She said boredly as she gripped the nape of Yusuke’s uniform, tossing him over to Ryuji. 

Ryuji caught Yusuke haphazardly, staring wide eyed as tendrils began to appear from Tsubaki’s body and wrapped around Akira, pulling him into her forcefield. 

“Akira!” Ryuji called out.

“Ryuji no, we gotta get out of here now!” Morgana yelled at him. “Put Yusuke in and let’s get out of here, we need to re-group!”

Ryuji grit his teeth, letting out a shaky sigh as he put Yusuke into the car and got in, driving them out of there.

Why…

Akira had just sacrificed himself for Yusuke, and it was all Ryuji’s fault.

Why was it always his fucking fault? 

Why couldn’t he read the mood? 

Why couldn’t he do what was right for once?

They got out of mementos, and everything was a blur for him after that.

He had to explain to Sojiro why Futaba was hurt.

Yusuke was out, but he looked dazed and not at all there.

The girls were in a panic…

It was all his fault… 

Morgana suggested Ryuji and Yusuke stay at Sojiro’s in Akira’s room till his cognition caught up with him, and after a bit of persuasion from Ann, Sojiro decided that if it’d help get Akira back he’d open his doors.

“He’s just in shock.” Morgana said quietly. “Because of what Tsubaki did his shadow is still in Mementos. His body just needs a bit of time to adjust to his new cognitive state.”

“Is… is he gonna change…?” Ryuji asked quietly.

“Well… some change may happen yeah. If it’s affecting him to the point of catatonia then it must be something big… just keep an eye on him and keep me posted okay?” Morgana asked quietly.

Ryuji nodded, laying Yusuke down on the bed and letting out a shaky sigh as he crawled in after him.

Once Futaba was better, they’d go into mementos. They’d save Akira and deal with Tsubaki’s shadow.

They had to put an end to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I HAVEN'T ABANDONED YOU GUYS lol.
> 
> Sorry for the super late post, got into a new hobby, and with work and a personal project already taking up a good portion of my time it's left little room for writing. I love this fic a lot though and I will see it to it's conclusion no matter how long it takes, and I'm glad to anyone who stays along for the ride :D


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love and devotion. Ryuji had Yusuke's love... 
> 
> but for a relationship to work, you needed both.

Sunlight filtered in through Akira’s window, warming Ryuji through as he let out a small sigh.

Warm… he was so warm… and comfortable.

Warm… 

Akira’s bed… 

This was Akira’s bed. He had gone to get Yusuke and...

Ryuji’s eyes slid open, gazing over to the body beside him. 

Yusuke was sleeping soundly, curled up against his side. 

So it wasn’t a dream, they were safe…

Ryuji let out a soft sigh, still guilt stricken that Akira had been left behind but… for the moment he was content that they had gotten Yusuke back. The blonde lay back, stroking Yusuke’s hair and letting out a content sigh as he watched him.

God he was so beautiful.

“Mm…” Yusuke murmured quietly, before sliding his eyes open and gazing at Ryuji.

“Yusuke…?” Ryuji asked gently, swallowing nervously as he let out a shaky exhale.

Yusuke broke out into a warm smile, letting out a soft yawn before crawling up and kissing Ryuji’s forehead, “Morning, lover…” he chuckled, “I missed you…. So much…”

Ryuji let out a happy sigh as he pulled Yusuke tight.

The cognition change must not have been that drastic after all.

This was still Yusuke, HIS Yusuke was right here. 

“Oh babe you had no idea how fucking worried I was…” Ryuji said quietly, feeling tears prick at his eyes, “I was so scared… I didn’t want to lose you…”

Yusuke flushed warmly, returning the hug and kissing Ryuji’s temple, “I’m sorry Ryuji… I was reckless and that was my fault… i just loved you too much to do nothing after… after how I… god I treated you so horribly-”

“Shh… no… no more babe.” Ryuji breathed out, “None of that matters okay? So long as you’re here and safe.” The blonde kissed gently over Yusuke’s face as he let out shaky sigh, “M’here for you…”

Yusuke smiled warmly to him, “I love you… Ryuji…” He said quietly.

Ryuji’s heart soared.

“I love you too… always.” Ryuji breathed out. “I know it sounds fuckin’ sappy, and corny and fucking STUPID but I think I’ll always love you… today… tomorrow… fucking always.”

Yusuke’s eyes were so warm and deep, pools of hapiness as he leaned close and kissed him, “Show me your love… please… it’s been so long since I’ve been able to open myself to you that I am starved for it.”

“Yusuke… mm… r-right here?” Ryuji said shyly.

Yusuke nodded, “I know Akira probably wouldn’t appreciate it but… what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” the artist egged on slightly.

Ryuji flushed a bit, before rolling them over and stripping off his clothes, “Theeeeen, I won’t tell if you won’t~” He said with a giddy grin.

Yusuke quickly shed his clothes off with a playful chuckle, “The morning is young… I think we’ve got time before the shop opens, but not much.” He said as he fumbled his hand along Akira’s nightstand, grabbing the little lube bottle just sitting in the open, quickly drizzling the viscous fluid onto his fingers as he stretched himself eagerly.

Ryuji felt a bit bad that he was doing this, but he couldn’t help but be happy that Yusuke was here.

Yusuke was here, unscathed, and was looking at him with so much love Ryuuji was getting floored. 

The blonde needed this…

“Oh~!” Yusuke giggled when Ryuji shoved him onto the bed, the artist watching with a smile as Ryuji coated himself.

Ryuji gave Yusuke a playful grin, before snapping his hips into Yusuke fast and eager.

“A-Ah~! Ryuji!” Yusuke whined as he was pounded into, his head tossing back at the sensation. “Mnn, go as hard as you want okay?” he ground his hips against Ryuji’s, arching as Ryuji quickly found his sweet spot and hit it over and over. 

Ryuji had liked going sweet and easy with Yusuke, but he was starved for this Yusuke.

The Yusuke who gave him loving smiles and teased him playfully. 

The Yusuke who had a childlike innocence to him while somehow having the promiscuousness of a nymph.

His Yusuke… who loved him as easily as breathing… as easy as Ryuji loved him.

Ryuji sped up, and Yusuke writhed, panting and moaning wildly at the eager pace the blonde was setting. Those noise did wonders to Ryuji, and he groaned as he hooked Yusuke’s thigh over his shoulder, moving to hit him deeper with the snaps of his hips.

Yusuke let out a warm sound, smiling up to Ryuji as he reached up and dragged Ryuji down for a kiss, nibbling gently at Ryuji’s lower lip.

Ryuji slipped his tongue out, entwining their tongues. Ryuji thought he was going to go insane as a wanton moan tore through the kiss from Yusuke’s throat. Ryuji chuckled a bit as he pulled back, feeling giddy as he looked at Yusuke swaying on the bed.

The artist was absolutely wrecked and they were just getting started.

“M-Mn~” Ryuji hummed as he snapped a bit harder, “Feel good babe?” He teased out.

Yusuke let out a soft mewl as he lifted his free thigh, hugging it as he coveted the hard hits to his sweet spot. His other hand flew to the bed, scrambling to grasp at the bedsheets for purchase. The artist opened his mouth to speak, but only more moans spilled out of him. 

Ryuji didn’t blame him, he felt like he was going to melt from the amalgam of feelings and sensations going through him. The physical and emotional stimulation was so much he thought he was going to explode.

Yusuke struggled up, kneeling on Ryuji’s lap as he crushed their mouths together eagerly. He let out a needy sound through his nose, eagerly gyrating his hips as he got used to the new position.

Ryuji pulled back a bit, taking Yusuke in with a shaky exhale, “Fucking christ Yusuke…” he breathed out.

Yusuke draped his wrists over Ryuji’s shoulders, effectively riding him, “Like what you see?” Yusuke purred out as he tossed his head back, happily grinding down hard on his partner.

Holy fuck Yusuke was a work of art… he couldn’t even say anything. 

So instead, he gripped Yusuke’s hips and began to meet his sinuous dance halfway with his body.

“Oh god Ryuji~!” He said with a happy laugh, “God don’t stop, keep going~!” He pleaded as he moaned, the soft smile not leaving his lips as he looked literally drunk off their play. His hips were stuttering, and he was obviously getting tired. Still Yusuke struggled to keep up with the relentless pace despite his fatigue.

Both of them were so high from their sinuous dance, they were blindsided by the end.

Yusuke came first, so spent and sensitive that he went limp when he was done painting their bodies with the climax between them. He gave a weak moan as Ryuji held him up, quickly feeling overstimulated from Ryuji pushing into him.

Lucilly, Ryuji was pretty much milked by Yusuke’s climax, and he came with a soft groan, burying himself as deep as he could as he filled him.

Yusuke shuddered, kissing gently over Ryuji’s face weakly as the two boys lay down together, their passion dying down to innocent and gentle kisses and nuzzles.

Eventually they were just a sleepy mess of limbs, both boys beginning to doze off.

They ALMOST got to sleep, until a loud “OH MY GOD!” rang through the room.

Ryuji jolted up, flushing in embarrassment as he stared over to see Ann, Haru and Makoto standing at the top of the stairs.

“RYUJI WHAT THE H-HELL!” Ann yelled, covering her eyes, “P-PUT THAT AWAY!” She said as she pointed to his waist.

“HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF LIKE… KNOCKING OR SAYING SOMETHING?!” Ryuji shrieked, tossing his boxers on and throwing a pillow over Yusuke’s waist.

Haru had walked back down the stairs with a timid “I’ll wait in the car…” , and Makoto pouted, seemingly not caring about the boys nudity, “In Akira’s room? Really? Have you no shame?”

Yusuke yawned, seemingly not caring about the girls as he lazily dragged his clothes over, slipping his shirt on, “Apologies, I may have tempted him a bit.” He said with a smile.

Morgana poked his head out of Ann’s bag, “Are you okay Yusuke? Mentally I mean?”

Yusuke let out another yawn, not saying anything as he continued to dress. 

Ryuji sighed, “He’s fine mona. Better than fine.” He said with a chuckle as he looked over at Yusuke, flushing as he felt his face warm. “He’s… perfect.”

Morgana’s ears lowered, “You sure…? With how he was he should’ve had a drastic change to his cognition... “ He looked up to the artist, “Yusuke? Do you feel anything strange? Anything at all?”

Yusuke hummed, before glancing down at the cat before looking at Ryuji, “Ryuji who are you talking to?” He asked curiously.

Ryuji froze.

“Wh… M-Mona… I’m talking to Morgana Yusuke…” He said quietly.

“Mm? The cat?” He said as he glanced back to him with a shrug. “Mm… anyway lover… its been good buuuut” he checked his phone, “Ah- Ooue-San texted me?” 

What.

Ryuji grit his teeth, “Tsubaki? Why the hell is she texting you?” 

Yusuke shrugged, “I gave her my number when you were indisposed from your tryst with her. She said she may need it for emergencies so I obliged.” The artist read, “Hmm… she says that for some reason she was thinking of me and wishes to get to know me…” 

The room grew a bit tense.

Ann gazed at him worriedly, “Uh… Yusuke… maybe you should stay with us…”

Yusuke shook his head, “Mn… no if Ooue-San needs me I should see what she needs… I… I owe her…” 

Ryuji got up, suddenly a bit angry as he grabbed Yusuke’s arm, “Owe her?! Babe she almost tore us apart!” 

Yusuke gazed at Ryuji worriedly, “Lover… I love you because of her…” He said quietly, “The tryst was… unfortunate, but…” He turned to Ryuji with a warm smile, “She made me realize how much I love you… as such, I have to be by her side when she needs me.” he said as he leaned in and kissed Ryuji’s forehead, “I hope you understand. Do not worry my feelings for her are simply platonic, but I am loyal to the one who brought clarity to my feelings for you.” He backed up and waved with a warm smile, “I’ll be back for you later my love. Wait for me okay?” He said as he skipped out, looking completely on cloud nine.

Makoto gaped after Yusuke in shock, looking at Ryuji for a few moments before running after Yusuke, a faint “Wait!” being heard as she chased him out of the cafe.

Ann tugged Morgana out of her bag.

“What the heck was that Morgana?! Why doesn’t he know you, and WHY is he all up on that Tsubaki skank?!” Ann said with a frustrated scoff.

Morgana’s ears lowered, “I told you… it was a drastic change in his cognition…” The cat let out a soft sigh, “Yusuke’s shadow is with Tsubaki… so because of that she’s probably influenced his thoughts and feelings.” He looked at Ryuji, “You saw his shadow, completely smitten by her spell… His love for you is probably being amplified because of it, but… his devotion to her for giving him that is priority one…” 

Ryuji grit his teeth, “Can… can I snap him out of it? If he loves me...”

Morgana sighed, “I feel like if you try to make him choose, Tsubaki would win out in the end… She’s influencing him after all... and that cognition change is cripplingly strong. Everything else has been suppressed, probably even his memories of all of us…”

Ann pouted, “So… he doesn’t remember the times in mementos? That’s why he can’t hear you?”

Morgana nodded. “In order to fix things… we need to wait till Futaba gets better… then we can go in and fix his heart and change Tsubaki’s… he needs his shadow. His persona is completely at Tsubaki’s mercy until we do…”

Ryuji sighed, his shoulder slumping.

Ann walked over, sitting next to Ryuji and patting his shoulder, “Mona told us what happened last night, y’know when Akira and you guys went in alone...At least… she could only influence him so much by targeting his love for you.” She smiled sadly, “That must mean something… if anything I think that means he really truly loves you Ryuji…”

Ryuji let out a soft sigh, “Yeah… you’re right. I’ll… I’ll get him back. I just... “ He groaned as he put his head in his hands, “it’s just hard… I really… thought I got him back completely this time…”

Ann hugged Ryuji, letting out a soft sigh, “You’ll get him back… We’ll get Akira back and change that bitch’s heart and have a happy ending, okay?” 

Yeah. 

That’s how this would end.

He’d wait as long as he needed to fix things, and then they’d end this.

He could take solace in that.

He smiled sadly at Ann, “Thanks Ann.. Really.”

She grinned, before getting up, “now get dressed, I’m taking you out for some ramen to get your mind off all this!” She beamed.

He nodded weakly at that, getting up and getting dressed.

Yeah… no more thinking negative. They’d get through this.

Everyone in his group had worked with him and worked so hard to make things work… he had to make this all right.

For Yusuke, Akira...

For everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy balls i'm so sleepy lol. Apologies for any mistakes I was literally passing out proofreading this but I wanted to get it out to you guys lool.
> 
> Getting close to wrapping this up, and by close I mean maybe 25-30...ish...chapters? We shall see rofl.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't real. Akira needed to keep telling himself that.
> 
> He had to tell himself that to keep from breaking.

Akira was exhausted.

Tsubaki’s shadow was relentless in trying to break him. She wasn’t hurting him, instead she had him caged in a makeshift dungeon, his mask and weapons far away as she left him and Yusuke’s shadow to their own devices. Joker was currently laying on his side, his back facing away from Yusuke who sat in a different cell.

He was trying to give Yusuke some privacy.

Yusuke and Ryuji liked to fuck. A lot. 

When the two weren’t cuddling and whispering sweet words to each other they were screwing like rabbits. He assumed it was because it was Yusuke’s shadow, but the boy was nigh insatiable, wanting and whining for Ryuji to be with him as if he was starved for contact.

He was tired of hearing those intimate noises… Yusuke’s shadow had done things that were extremely private that Akira felt he was never supposed to see.

Hell, Yusuke was doing it now.

“Ryujiiii” Yusuke’s shadow whined, leaning in as he kissed over the blondes face.

Not Ryuji, Akira reinforced, just an imitation kept there so Yusuke could stay under her control. 

“Aww babe, what’s wrong? You don’t want to cuddle?” The fake Ryuji teased, lovingly holding Yusuke as they kissed.

Yusuke’s shadow shook his head, his golden eyes gleaming and his cheeks flushed shyly as he straddled Ryuji’s waist. “I slept enough… I want you inside me again, please?” He begged, “It’s never enough… I want more of you…”

“Then you’ll have it babe... “ the blonde purred out, licking into Yusuke’s mouth before they were pressing and kissing against each other, their obscene noises filling Akira’s ears.

Akira felt an ache in his pants, desire pooling as he let out a shaky sigh.

Several times they had asked if he wanted to play with them, out of respect for the real Ryuji and also to keep his own sanity he’s refused every time. Tsubaki didn’t like this, so she would try other ways to get him to cave. 

From having Ryuji ask Yusuke’s shadow directly to go coax him to giving him other people to bang. From the girls he had dated this past month or so to Iwai.

Sometimes it was them… but sometimes...

“You know… you could join them. It’d be fun~” A voice called out to him from the darkness of the cell.

Akira felt like someone dunked ice water over him, and he curled inward. 

No. Not again. 

He didn’t want to deal with this today.

“D’aww… Akira don’t make that face…” A familiar voice called out to him, a figure moving in the shadows as it crawled toward him.

“Stop… You’re not him…” Akira murmured out.

“Of course i’m him, Akira... “ he called out, finally coming into view as his brunette hair caught the light, hazel eyes playfully looking at him, “If you want me to be…” Akechi purred.

No. Not Akechi. This was like the Ryuji in the other cell. One of Tsubaki’s tricks to try and get him to give in.

“Akira… don’t you miss me?” Akechi asked quietly, sweetly. 

Akira shook his head, “A fabrication could never replace the original… you aren’t even half the person Akechi was.” 

“That hurts, Akira… seeing as you tricked me… The original me died because you lacked tact y’know.” He said as if scolding a child, shedding his blazer before moving to loosen his tie, “I’m not even mad about it y’know? I liked you… and you liked me, I know you did.”

Akira could scream at this fabrication all day, so instead he just curled more into himself.

“You’re so cold…” Akechi said quietly, the smallest hint of hurt in his voice. It sounded almost real. 

Almost.

“Well if you’re not going to play with me, I guess I can play by my lonesome.” Akechi said quietly, stripping himself bare. “If I can’t have you… I can at least pretend…” He said, leaning over to his clothes and pulling out a pocket of lubricant as he coated his fingers and worked himself open.

Akira shuddered, he had nowhere to look but the floor. To his left Yusuke and Ryuji fucking so hard it was shaking the bars, his moans echoing in Akira’s ears. To his right, the soft squelching sounds of Akechi working himself open could be heard, as well as the soft sighs that spilled from his mouth showing it was quite pleasant. 

It was torture. Screw Mementos, this had to be hell.

Karma for screwing so many people and being an unfaithful dickweed after Akechi had died.

“Mm… speaking of, I have something that resembles you a little bit, if you won’t play with me this might help me to not be so lonely.” Akechi said quietly.

Akira looked up, curious.

He immediately wished he hadn’t.

Akechi was laying back, his legs spread wide so he could see his lubed and stretched hole resting open and wanting. In the faux detectives hands a dildo aparated, its girth, length and even ridges resembling his own dick.

“Sometimes playtime requires toys to be fruitful I guess.” Akechi said with a chuckle, pouring more lube on his hands before slathering it along the toy’s length. 

God Akira wanted to put his hands on Akechi.

He wanted to pin him down and bury himself in those soft, warm wet walls that were inviting him. He was getting jealous of the toy being slicked up in front of him. 

“I wish this was you, Akira~” Akechi voiced out, positioning the toy against himself and letting out a sigh as his hole hugged around the head.

Akira bit his bottom lip, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him as a pleasurable ache spread throughout his arousal. He ground his hips into the floor as he attempted to alleviate some of the pressure.

Akechi pushed the toy inside himself slowly, letting out a soft gasp as his entrance stretched wide to accommodate it. He arched and let out a deep moan as he ground down on it, widening and stretching himself to its thickness. 

Akira pushed his hand into his pants, freeing his erection and panting as he ran his thumb over the head.

This was okay, it was like watching porn.

He wasn’t giving himself to her, he was just watching the show that was put on for him.

That’s all… that’s all this was.

Akechi clenched around the toy and moaned, making Akira click his tongue with need as he began to stroke himself.

Akechi peered at him from in-between his legs, giving him an angelic smile as his eyes hooded, “You’re touching yourself, Akira? Mh… that’s not fair y’know.” He said as he rolled his hips, gyrating them down on the toy as he pushed it up to meet his downward thrusts. 

Akira closed his eyes, finally managing to tear his eyes away as he focused on getting himself off.

He was just taking care of a need. He wasn’t sharing this moment with anyone special… there was no one special to him here.

“Akira… Akira, Akira...” He could hear Akechi moan out his name, saying it over and over like a prayer as his voice became desperate, beginnings of soft cries spilling from his lips as he worked himself.

Akira stroked himself quicker, feeling himself getting close. He’d finish and go sit as far away from the fake that was torturing him.

“Akira… I love you…” Akechi sobbed out.

Akira’s hand stilled, his hips jutting as he came prematurely to that soft voice. He panted, swaying and barely catching himself with his free hand as he tried to clear the fog from his mind.

When he finally came down from his high, his heart swelled in what felt like a piercing vise as he brought his free hand up to his mouth.

“I love you... “ Akechi repeated, crying out in wanton passion as he tossed his head to the side and escalated his moans, “I love you, I love you!” He cried over and over again. 

This wasn’t fair…

Akechi had never said he loved him… not once… 

To hear his voice so clearly from someone that wasn’t real… he didn't’ think anything could hurt this much.

Shakilly, Akira crawled over to Akechi, lifting him slightly off the ground as he held him close.

“Akira… mh… I want you to fuck me… fuck me deep, please…” He moaned out, snuggling against Akira’s chest as he continued to fuck against the toy, desperate for contact.

Akira remained quiet, reaching down and shooing Akechi’s hands away as he grasped the end of the toy. He played with the base, finding a control at the bottom and clicking it, feeling it begin to vibrate in his hands.

Akechi let out a groan as his hips stuttered, falling limp in Akira’s arms as he was quickly reduced to soft moans and intense shivers.

Akira slowly clicked through the settings, feeling the vibrations intensify as Akechi squirmed and began to let out little mewls. He had stopped thrusting against the toy, instead pressing it deep and letting out soft gasps of encouragement.

The noises coming from Akechi’s mouth were driving him insane. 

He’d help work the illusion to completion. The faster he got the fake off the faster he’d be left alone.

Akechi moved to touch himself, but Akira slapped his hand away, “You wanted to play with me, so we’re playing my way. No touching.” he said quietly but sternly. 

Akechi fought the urge to touch himself, biting down on his knuckle while the other hand flew up to wrap around Akira’s neck, keening in need as he clenched and unclenched around the invading object. 

It was one of the hottest things Akira had ever seen. 

“Mhwant you to feel good too, Akira…” Akechi breathed out, staring at the man above him with glazed, dilated eyes as he leaned up as if to kiss him. “I miss your cock… mh… and I know you miss me… miss how hot and tight I am for you…”

Akira closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the words as he pushed and rotated the toy inside of him, “be good and be quiet or i’ll stop.”

Akechi weakly pouted, but the conversation ended there.

Instead, moans, gasps and whimpers left Akechi’s mouth, filling Akira’s ears sweetly as he worked the detective closer and closer to the edge. He could feel Akechi arching, feeling his body being drawn tighter and tighter like it always did when he was nearing completion. 

Akira took a small pleasure in the vocalizations. Even if this wasn’t real he couldn’t help how hearing the familiar noises and feeling the familiar way Akechi’s body reacted was a comfort to his mind that had been haunted by his death. 

So Akira played with the plug, moving it vigorously in and out and being sure to press it up where he knew Akechi’s prostate would be. He watched as pleasure built on Akechi’s face, shivers becoming more strong as he was brought closer and closer to his climax.

“Akira…” Akechi groaned out, “M’so close… so-ah… close... “ He leaned up, kissing up his joker’s neck and chin, “You make me feel so good… you always did… it was only you that ever made me feel this way... “

As Akechi spoke, Akira’s resolve began to crack.

It cracked painfully like his heart did.

Akira bit his lip, pushing the toy in forcefully as he tried to avoid the flood of memories. Of tangled lims and melded bodies. How they clung to each other desperately like animals starved for contact. 

How afterward sometimes… just sometimes Akechi would cling to him and beg to stay, just for a little while.

Those rare sometimes Akira would let him, carnage becoming soft kisses and hushed smiles as they dozed together.

He missed it so much.

And that’s why this had to stop soon.

Akira turned up the vibration settings, leaning in and allowing Akechi to kiss over his face, as he panted, “Finish for me, Akechi…” 

He knew the illusion would.

It was tailored to pleasure him, after all.

Sure enough Akechi clamped up, letting out a soft cry as thick ribbons of come streaked and ribboned out over his chest, trembling in Akira’s arms as his orgasm rocked him. 

Akira took out the toy, turning it off and gazing at Akechi’s satisfied face, watching his chest heave from his post-coital panting. 

Akira’s own body was buzzing, traces of budding arousal tempting him but he could ignore it. The sight alone was all he needed. 

After Akechi caught his breath, he struggled to lean in, “Now… let me take care of you, mm?” he said gently before leaning in for a kiss.

Akira held his hand up, stopping Akechi. “No… A good friend of mine told me losing myself in sex won’t make me happy…” he said quietly, putting Akechi down gently on the ground and glancing away, “Even if you look like him, you’re not real… fucking you would just be me fucking another person to try and forget the pain… forget the cold hard reality that I haven’t been able to accept.” He let out a shaky sigh, before glaring at Akechi, “The man I love… the man you’re trying so desperately to be is dead… and he’s not coming back. “

Akechi gazed at Akira, tears in his eyes as his bottom lip trembled. His eyes slid shut, and a sad smile made its way on his face, gazing at Akira warmly as he faded away. 

Akira scoot back until his back was flush against the bars of the cell, closing his eyes as he curled a leg up to his chest. His arousal was completely gone, his body replaced with a small numbness that left him feeling alone and empty.

Akira felt warm hands gently place themselves on his shoulder, and he turned to look at Yusuke. the shadow had put his pants back on, and was giving his shoulders a reassuring squeeze, yellow eyes gleaming with concern.

“Joker… I’m sorry…” he said quietly, looking timid and sad for him as he kept near.

Akira glanced past him, the faux Ryuji asleep on the bed within the cell.

How long had Ryuji and Yusuke been done? How long had Yusuke been watching him?

Akira guessed it didn’t matter. 

He turned around a bit in Yusuke’s hold, before looking up at the artist. “Me too Yusuke… Me too.” He said quietly.

Yusuke hugged his leader through the bars, trying to give him some semblance of comfort.

It hurt.

It hurt so much and this time… things were too much. 

So Akira cried in those arms. Cried for the first time since Akechi died as he mourned the loss of his former lover. 

\---

Ryuji had met with the gang in Shibuya, Ann, Makoto, Futaba and Haru sitting at a table getting a last bite to eat while Ryuji pet Morgana.

He was nervous, too nervous to eat anything.

Ann noticed, pouting at him.

“Eat something. You’re gonna be no good to us if you’re fighting on an empty stomach.” Ann chastised. 

Haru fidgeted, “If the food isn’t to your liking I can take you somewhere else.” She offered with a smile, “We should be at our best for this fight.

Ryuji smiled weakly at the two of them, scratching the back of his head with a small sigh, “Nah Haru it’s fine. If you guys are that worried i’ll chow down.”

“Good.” Makoto said with a sigh, slamming a burger down in front of his face as she sat back. “Don’t worry, we aren’t leaving without Joker and Fox’s shadow, okay? You idiots went in on your own last time, but now you’ve got us backing you up. Y’know like you SHOULD have had.”

Futaba laughed, “Boys will be boys. With everyone together this will be a cakewalk this time.” She grinned as she bit into a fry before using it to point at Ryuji, “Inari belongs by your side and I’ll use all the cheats in the book to get him back to you.”

Ryuji smiled at the girls in front of him.

They had been so strong, and were so supportive of him.

Even without Joker to lead him, even when he felt like things weren’t going to work themselves out.

They really were a family… He should’ve remembered that so long as they were together they could do anything.

So, Ryuji grinned at them, eating his food in record time as he chat with the girls to keep his mind off his worries.

Once he was done scarfing down his burger he stood up and stretched “Right then, ready to go you guys?” he said with a grin. 

They nodded, getting up before pausing, gaping behind him in small shock.

Ryuji raised a brow, “What’s up?”

Futaba sputtered as her glasses ran down her nose, “I-Inari?”

Ryuji felt his blood run cold.

He turned around, and sure enough Yusuke was running over to them, a very upset looking Tsubaki left in the crowd as he stopped in front of them.

“You’re going somewhere, right? Wherever you’re going… I want to go too.” Yusuke said quietly.

Makoto pouted worriedly. “W-We’re… just going to visit Akira today Yusuke, we don’t want to bother you-”

“Take me with you.” He said quietly, pursing his lips. “I… I don’t know why but… since this morning something has felt… wrong? Off? I don’t know what word to use.”

Haru pursed her lips, “Do you not… feel well?” she tried.

“No… I just feel… WRONG.” Yusuke looked desperate, scared. “Somethings wrong. With me and… I think with Akira…” He said, before looking up at Ryuji, “I also felt the need to be with you… I want to be with you, like ACTUALLY be with you. With no lies this time…”

“Lies?” Ryuji frowned “Yusuke what are you talking about I haven’t lied to you at all since we got back together-”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Yusuke looked like he was about to have a breakdown, before swallowing and closing his eyes, “Akira… he’s hurting. I feel it, I don’t know how but I do, and I feel like with you… these feelings are off. These feelings I feel… I KNOW this isn’t how they’re supposed to be, so…” Yusuke looked at the girls, his eyes holding Futaba’s for an extended time before looking back up to Ryuji, “I’ll go with you. Especially if you’re going to see him.”

Morgana meowed before hopping back into Ryuji’s hold, “Something must have happened with his shadow that’s changing his cognition. This could actually be a big break.” The cat meowed out as it stretched in Ryuji’s arms, “Let’s take him with us. Yeah he’ll be useless for a while, but he might be able to lead us, and once he gets his persona back he can help.”

Yusuke raised a brow, “Such a vocal cat. Is it in heat?”

Morgana bristled and hissed, the girls giggling to themselves.

Ryuji took a long hard look at Yusuke, before giving him a small sad smile, “Alright then… Don’t worry Yusuke, we’ll help Akira and then we’ll fix this.” He said as the team walked together toward the subway, clicking their aps open.

Yes, Ryuji would fix this.

Then he’d fix their relationship.

He was in too deep, after this was over he was going to be the best person he could be, and he’d do so with Yusuke by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an awful person for making everyone wait this long lol. THE TRUE SLOW BURN OF THIS FIC IS HOW LONG IT'S TAKING ME TO UPDATE LATELY.
> 
> This fanfic will get done, I promise rofl. Hopefully with the Persona 5 anime coming out in April My passion for it will be rekindled, but it's more been work getting in the way of me writing. We are so close to the conclusion guys, just bear with me lol.
> 
> Anyway I guess I wanted to earn that Akechi/Akira pairing that I put in the top, so I decided to give a day in the life of Akira being Tsubaki's prisoner. Poor dude is in sex hell. The phantom thieves are gonna go and earn themselves a proper conclusion, and hopefully soon!


End file.
